Getting to "Yes": Part One  

bipolybabe 55F
10715 posts
5/10/2006 7:57 am

Last Read:
8/3/2008 7:44 am

Getting to "Yes": Part One

In response to my desire to help ProtonicMan with his problem of being underlaid, I offer the following piece of information. (This same info will also help women get what they're looking for.)

I offer it in the spirit ending the battle over sex between men and women. I offer it to men as a gift to help them get all the sex their hearts desire.

I request that you use this information in the spirit in which it is given, to help you and the women with whom you have sex, to fully enjoy one another. I request that you speak honestly with women and not use this information to manipulate them into bed.

The problem of getting enough sex is not an issue of scarcity. That is, the problem is not that there are not enough women who want to have sex. It's a sorting problem. It's a numbers game really. You need to keep meeting women and sorting out what each of you needs until you find the woman who wants the same things you do and then, bam! You're in, dude. It really should be easy. This is about fun, after all. Getting great sex should not be a struggle. In the spirit of making it easy and fun for all, here goes. The idea is not to share this info BEFORE you get way into the relationship and discover you're out of sync.

First, ask out only the women with whom you find yourself being authentic, genuine & sincere, not the ones for whom you find yourself turning into a pretzel to become what she wants. Make sure she is impressed with who you are RIGHT NOW, not who she thinks you will become. If her eyes don't light up with who you are right now, pass. Otherwise, you will suffer when she puts you through The Boyfriend Project.

For women, make sure he likes your body just as it is. We women need to be desired just as we are, not when we lose those last 10-20 pounds. You will suffer if he is not sexually attracted to your body type. So, post a picture of exactly how you look right now.

I recommend you put this all right out there on your profile. You will attract the one who wants what you want. Here are the things to be honest about:

Number One:

Be honest about your dating purpose. Your purpose is how you'd eventually like to end up. It's quite different to say "I'd like a relationship that leads to marriage" rather than "I'm looking for a sexual partner." If you are honest about this, you are more likely to find someone who is most likely to share your dating purpose and not cause upsets, especially for my sisters, later on.

Number Two:

Be honest about your deal-breakers. These often include: children, money, sex, substance use, pets, intolerance that is intolerable, smoking and when to get married. Think about the things that sunk past relationships. Those are deal breakers. Be as specific as possible about what you desire.

Number Three:

Be honest about what you are willing to provide to your partner and what you are hoping to provide, what you need, that is, what you'll be upset without and what you'd be happy to receive. For example, I am willing to provide sex. I am hoping to be able to provide an experience of Tantric sexual connection. I'll be upset if he doesn't call me back and it would make me happy to receive frequent sexual attention.

Now, I'll write part two about looking deeper into what a woman needs in order to provide sex.

(c) 2006 AskAphrodite aka BiPolyBabe


Check out my blog Bi-Poly-Babe for more sensual, sexual pleasure!

WhiteExplringBlk 40F
2 posts
7/12/2006 10:16 pm

This was a great read.

FunSeekerInTheSu 39M

7/18/2006 5:06 am

Nice One - and given in True spirit. This should be more popular!!! Its funny how truth will set you free...coz I have to admit, of course I've "tried" to dress myself to "attract" - like an olive in a martini turning out to be an onion (hehe). Does NO good.
Greg - a.k.a. FunSeekerInTheSun

foskidz 51M
3 posts
7/18/2006 11:40 pm

Well said, BRAVO!

IamWetFire 52F

8/5/2006 5:10 pm

Thank you so much for stating this. It can't be repeated enough. Honesty will get you much farther than all this dodging and hiding nonsense. We should all just relax and talk about what we want, need and expect.


rm_B_O_H_I_C_A 53M
342 posts
8/21/2006 2:54 am

I'll second that! (IamWetFire-"We should all just relax and talk about what we want, need and expect"). We're all adults here (physically if not mentally/emotionally), so why is it necessary to have all the drama and games? Is it our expectaions? My great-grandfather always said, "No expectations, no disappointments" and I firmly believe that. Living it is hard, but it's still "do-able". If you "Say what you mean, mean what you say" (another of his words-of-wisdom) and are always up-front and honest (with yourself as well as others), you will find that people come to rely in that about you and trust in you. Not to mention the fact that it really helps keep your life simpler (K.I.S.S. methodology) and a lot less cluttered (not having to keep track of all the lies/stories/fa├žades).
Sorry to go off like that (...climbing off the stump...), but I've become a little disheartened with all the drama people seem to find necessary in their lives these days...

Artimus4U 55F

9/6/2006 7:28 pm


Thats a great read.

thanks, Artimus

Bard of Norcal

JaggyKiltsDrain 44M
45 posts
9/16/2006 11:04 pm

Another good posting by PolyBabe and guest commentators!

-these 'how to hook up, make a profile' blogs should have a link on the AdultFriendFinder homepage once you log-in. seriously!

rm_loveyalot2 59M
18 posts
10/17/2007 9:16 am

its amazing how many times i met people who were not who they seemed to be by there profile!! were all adults here and i know everyone wants to put there best foot forward,but if your not true about who you are or what you want how can anything work.

zuluchicken 47F

12/11/2007 9:41 pm

Life is too short and me too selective about the men I fuck to waste any time pretending to be someone I'm not, or worse yet, not being honest about what I want. My profile is direct and specific. Perhaps a bit too direct and specific for some.

Its amazing how when I clearly spell out my personal "Do's and Donts" I respectfully hear from the men who will suit me well and find it easy to discriminate out the ones who wont.

Nothing against them.... I am an acquired taste.

Thanks BPB. Great post!

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