binx1972 45F
15 posts
5/13/2006 11:14 pm

Last Read:
5/22/2006 10:21 pm


Ok here goes, I am 34 years old and I have been with my hubby for 18 years. I have been so damn horny since turning 34 that I don't know what to do with myself. Is this normal? Has anyone else gone through this? The bad thing is he's 40 and not very horny anymore, so now what. I want to be satisfied. Help me someone!

1 post
5/14/2006 12:00 am

how does he feel about this? Is he ok with your seeking out satisfaction or do you have to do it on the sly? What would it take to satisfy you and not hurt him?

rm_vigorous1943 73M

5/14/2006 2:53 pm

The guy posting above has GREAT questions for you.....couldn't have done better suggesting a starting place for solving your dilemma. One thing to keep in mind while asking yourself AND HIM those questions is the fact that age 40 is insanely early (if ANY age is OK {I'm 62 and still think about sex almost constantly}) to "not be horny anymore." The only starting question I'd add is thus "Is he willing to work with you on solving the problem, or does he just deny it?"

A short term essential is, of course, a good vibrator. The best available to use if you have good privacy and like strong vibrations is the Hitachi Magic Wand electric(about $35 -40 at most discount stores). Comes with a rounded soft cushiony tip for which a number of penetrating attachments are available separately through good on-line sex toy stores. Soft rounded end also works great between two pelvises facing each other when you get to that point.......hopefully you'll get some ideas for portable battery-powered ones from women who see your post.

Press On Regardless!

the_bear21 45M

5/15/2006 10:39 am

It’s normal for men to be hornier than women, but having the reverse in a relationship is not completely uncommon. I assume you already tried walking around naked as much as possible?

Please give more detail to what you mean by not horny. If you are expecting a 40 year old guy to have sex 3-4 times a day, you are not being realistic.

bigjohnny7in 51M

5/15/2006 2:00 pm

I am 41 and able to maintain an erection for a considerable amount of time, but I am just physically incapable of sex 24/7. If I could would be in movies. For example, gal I met here come over last week for around of sex. It is what she came her for, no games, no holds barred sex. We had about 30 minutes of foreplay and 15 minutes of intercourse before I came. She also had several orgasms. We lay side by side for 30 minutes, cuddling and started again, over an hour later she had had several more, but I never did reach a second orgasm. Was I dissatisfied? NO, just incapable of continuing to act, my legs were twitching from the exercise, and she was starting to dry up, making penetration uncomfortable. But it was a fun I was completely drained of energy, time for nap, felt like i was 16 again, after a 20 minute siesta.

So is being really horny at 34 wrong? No, of course not. I seeking pleasure outside of the marriage wrong? That is a moral decision for you to make. Will he be happy if he finds out? Probably not, unless you discuss it upfront, will probably be the toughest discussion of your married life, but unless you wanna "Cheat" you have to have it.

Suggestions: A good vibrator can always help, Oral sex can take the place of vaginal if he is unable to keep up with your libido, (some men shy away from it after vaginal sex, clean up and come back, hell have him help you douche, or put a condom on him, so there is no semen inside or on you). Discuss inviting another over to play, male or female(I have been on several dates with couples that are just looking for a little more), Or come to one of the Parties we have in town, safe and no commitment to play, many folks just come to watch, maybe you can play while he watches and it will turn him on enough to join in. Whatever you do, don't become frustrated over sex, it will get you mean and bitter and looking at your picture and reading what you have wrote I don't think that is you.

Be fair to yourself cutie,


rm_themailman39 77M
8 posts
5/16/2006 4:59 pm

i'm 66 and think about sex all the time. I don't know what I would do if I were unable to have sex or just didn't want it. I would like to help in any why that I can even if it's just some one to talk to.

binx1972 45F

5/16/2006 10:12 pm

well to answer some questions that have been posted, I am only asking for it once a day. I don't think that is unfair of me. Well I guess I can't say that he's not horny, maybe just not into me anymore. He likes to chat online to other women, cybersex. So I told him he was free to go with someone else. He told me he didn't want anyone else, he just likes to flirt online. So I tried talking to him in bed the way he does with women online and he got upset. He said that just wasn't me, and not to do it anymore. I have tried to ignore it, argue over it, I've cried over it, and still I am as confused as ever. I don't like toys, so now what?

BrownGuru65 52M

5/16/2006 10:35 pm

I am surprised no woman has responded to your post yet .. People start getting hornier for various reasons .. for women, it could be from change in hormones .. if you both talk about it and work it out, both of you can have lots of fun without hurting anyone .. and if you are both open minded (that is the big if), then the swinging lifestyle would bring about lots of potential for both of you .. who knows, he may start feeling hornier again .. Of course, my wife is not open minded about it, so I am no expert here .. but just a thought.

the_bear21 45M

5/17/2006 11:07 am

Sex once a day sounds just right for me and my personal libido, but you have realize this is well above the national average. I think the US average is something like twice a week. Maybe someone else will post the exact number. I don’t see anything wrong with wanting an above average marriage. As for the talking dirty, from personal experience, I would much rather hear a women talk about how wet her pussy is during sex, than where the price of a barrel of crude oil is headed.

Since you said your husband does a lot of chatting online, I have to ask if he is masturbating while chatting. If so, that explains why he has few little troopers left for you.

rm_themailman39 77M
8 posts
5/17/2006 1:01 pm

You may have to decide what you need to do so you will not be sexual frustrated.I would never suppose to tell someone else what to do. These thing you have to decide for yourself.I would be happy to take you to lunch some day and give you someone in person to talk to. We could plan a picnic in the park. Let me know if you would like to do this.

curiousmate3 44M
1 post
5/18/2006 12:57 pm

Binx1972, sounds like you may have to find a way to spice up your sex life. Is he open to partners or does he like watching porn? Have you tried stripping for him? If you need a partner on the side let me know I will do what I can to help. Good luck.

bigjohnny7in 51M

5/18/2006 3:59 pm

Okay, the second part of your post now is more informative. The problem is not with his libido, he has desire, just apparently not as much as he used to have for you. I remember reading somewhere years ago, that men reach their sexual maturity at 18 and women at 30. Frankly it seems like he wants to try something new. Something different, it is a phase almost all relationships go through. In many it destroys them, he goes off and cheats, she feels dishonored, wham bam, 50/50 split of community property.
But back to you. His refusal to see other women is a compliment to you, he has desires but remains committed to you. Many women are not that lucky. Keep trying different things is all I can advise, if it does not satisfy you, it may have to be you that goes outside of the marriage to meet others, but it is always best that it be done openly. I knew one couple in which he helped her pick out partners for the weekend, once every 3 or 4 months, and footed the hotel bills, each relationship has its own dynamics.

Professional help might be called for if that is something you can not do. Frankly almost all the advice you get here is only going to be armature and anecdotal as we are not psychologists. Oh we also have ulterior motives, that are quite apparent just by being members of this site,we are looking to meet someone/couple/gal/guy for sex.

Good luck in finding the right things you deserve.

rm_trs3048 56M
2 posts
5/23/2006 9:13 am

Have you tried masturbating when he can find you? Or perhaps going down on him and then fingering yourself until you are moaning on your own...I know I wouldn't be able to stay off you for long if you did either of those things to me.

As far as needing someone to fill the void, I know how you feel. Masturbation just doesn't complete the need for physical contact.

Shoot me an email here and I'd love to discuss this more with you. I love nearby and am quite interested in your delima.

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