good bye my love  

biggirlblue3 51M/51F
14 posts
8/22/2005 3:35 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

good bye my love

I am hurting so bad right now. I really don't know what to say. I wrote these words about my boyfriend in my last blog post not knowing that I would not ever see or touch him again.The day I wrote that well he was killed on his motor cycle they are burring him today august 22 and I do mean they. I'm not aloud their. his sisters which does not even know me would not let me say my last good bye to him they turned me away at the door of the funeral home. I don't know why but they did I have not done anything to them as I said they did not know me. I only knew one of his sisters and his dad.we where together for two years this month. so im writhing my good bye to him here. this is the last thing we did together were looking here to see if we were going to be able to meet a woman some day for a threesome never got to make his fantasy come true he wanted so bad to see me with another woman and to be with two women at the same time. I promised him a year ago that I would make it come true for him. I failed him. I lost my best friend and lover. so good bye my love I will be with you again one day. I LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU SO MUCH


8/24/2005 12:16 pm

i'm so sorry to hear that.i can not know what you are feeling but i do know it hurts so much. you are in my thoughts.....

biggirlblue3 51M/51F

8/24/2005 4:11 pm

yes it does hurt. thank you sweety.maybe we can still chat every now and then.

scarzack 55M
1080 posts
8/28/2005 7:56 pm

I'm very sorry for your loss. I'm sire you will be in a state of loss, hurt, and confused for some time. I'm sorry you had a hastle with his family also. It never helps, and I'm sure they are in pain as well. Those feelings may never heal, but the only thing that helps our loss is to put the guilt aside, remember the good times that keep his memory alive and keep them close to your heart. If things get too depressing, you will need help. Be brave enough to live and ask for help if you need it. I wish you well.

biggirlblue3 51M/51F

8/29/2005 8:59 am

Thanks scarzack for your thoughtful words of courage.I will need all the help I can get.I finally found the grave site yesterday and it really sunk in.Alot of differrent emotions came crashing down on me all at once.The main feeling was relief that now i know where he was laid to rest and i will be able to go and say my good byes to him.Again thanks to everybody.

happybuxomcpl 51M/51F

9/18/2005 7:32 pm

Just wanted to say that I have been where you are, and time does heal. Don't isolate yourself, and don't worry about what other people think or say. If they don't volunteer to come over and pay your bills or give you a shoulder to cry on, their opinions don't mean *hit. My mates family didn't have any clue of the kinds of things that we had been through together or what our relationship really was. They only had part of the picture. I am the one that buried him, and had to make all of the decisions, but they all had something to say when I moved on and met someone else. Life will go on, but you will never forget someone that you love. Just enjoy the memories, and you may get to fulfill his fantasy one day and how do you know he won't see it? I believe that our loved ones are energy that surrounds us until it is time for them to be human again.
May sound crazy, but it makes me happy LOL

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