Care and feeding of your pet biker...  

bigdaddyhitcher 56M
0 posts
11/12/2005 4:14 pm

Last Read:
5/7/2006 2:19 pm

Care and feeding of your pet biker...

To properly care for your pet Biker, you must know the following:

1. FOOD: Your pet biker is ALWAYS hungry will eat almost anything you cook for him. He is much too busy wrenching on his motorcycle, riding it and fucking you, so you must cook for him.

2. SEX: Sexual activities involving your pet biker include giving him blow jobs at least once per day, this does not include the ones you give him for the privilege of riding with him on his bike. Anal sex at least once a week. You can expect your butt to be lubed (cooking oil works the best) up and pumped just about every Friday morning. Be prepared for spontaneous sexual interludes along the highway, at the movies, in the park, at the grocery store and just about everywhere else, except in church. In other words, keep yourself ready for a good fucking all the time. Your biker loves to drop your drawers in the kitchen while you're cooking for him.

3. MONEY: Be prepared for your biker to be broke all the time. Those flashy chrome parts cost lots of MONEY. He gladly works and pays the bills, but you better have a job,too if you want food in the house and spending MONEY.

4. GIFTS AND TREATS As long as any gift you buy him has anything to do with motorcycles, has a motorcycle brand logo on it, or scantily clad women in sexually provocative positions printed on it, he will cherish it because you care so much about him. Treats include any type of food that causes him to make obnoxious body noises, beverages that "only men drink" and sex. If he smokes cigars, by all means keep him supplied with his favorite "stick".

5. No-No's: Things that will cause your pet biker to become exceedingly enraged are: riding on the back of another man's bike; treating him like a juvenile, even when he is acting that way; turning off the sports channel so you can watch a "chick-flick" (you can modify his demeanor with a nice long blow job and swallow, after which he will be asleep and you can now watch whatever you want).

A word to the wise: Ladies, you have seen the ol' ladies of very happy bikers. They are wearing very nice jewelry and some even ride their own bikes. Do you know why that is? Because they swallow every drop of his man juice every time they blow him. So the next time you see some gal walking down the street with a rock on her finger the size of a bus, you'll know her secret. That's right, she swallows.

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