The Pain  

bigattitudeguy 53M
94 posts
7/22/2006 4:09 pm
The Pain

I was in a short relationship, oh for about 3 weeks and it was fun and I was thinking that things my keep on going. Since she was a co-worker (Yes, I should know better) and all of a sudden she was closed and distant with me and she wouldn't call me anymore and she would return my calls and she wouldn't. Well, I won't get into all the details, but she dumped me. It hurt. I thought we had something. On top of that she was disrespectful about it. Now that I'm getting into meditation, of coourse this comes up. And in my meditations I see it bubble up in my consiousness and it dominates my mind. I watch it and I go into it and I let it flow through me. My breath becomes very shallow and I'm slumpping over and my the muscles in my face and chest are very tense. It feels as if my whole body is a flame and this energy is reaching up into the sky. This was a very intense moment. I don't try to stop, but just watch it and let it run it's course. Diiferent judgements came up. I saw hatred and violence and ill will towards her. I noticed judgement too. I let all these pass on. After about 15 minutes of this, it left on it's own and I was able to refocus my attention on my breath and continue my meditation. My meditation was still a success and I am centered again and now I will go out and start it all over again.

I wish you all well.

Be well and happy and at peace.


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