Am I Madd?  

bigattitudeguy 53M
94 posts
2/18/2006 8:45 am

Last Read:
3/18/2006 6:54 am

Am I Madd?

I have been giving myself to maddnes and knowing it. But if you know it are you really madd? There are so many people that live in denial, not knowing that they are madd, not knowing their own mind. They are seeking the next higest high. They are living in denial. They say that they are righteous enough to condemn and toy with other people, but they are no better than anybody else. They are obsessed with being in rightness that they lose focus of the things that really matter. I am mad but I'm not. Is that mad or what?

I have never denied my madness nor my small penis nor my off centeredness nor my attitude nor my lowly estate not my immaturity. There are those that told me that I do not know centeredness. That doesn't even make any sense, because they were obviously off center to make that statement in a state of anger. Many have bad mouthed me and bashed me, but I still remain. All the while, I have been honest with myself and others. I have not been deceitful nor have I ever been in denial. I know my own mind. I am the witness mearly observing my actions and reactions and in this I find balance and truth and wellness and peace and greater sexuality.

This is what I am.


vilmac2 47F

2/19/2006 10:26 am

Well good for you ! Your a lucky guy !

bigattitudeguy 53M
140 posts
2/20/2006 6:13 pm

Yes, I am very lucky! I still have my mind, I think. LOL I guess I'm trying to be like King Solomon. I'm just not as wealthy. He had 700 wives and 350 concubine. Sheese. That would drive any man mad. Do you think he might have been obsessed?


vilmac2 47F

2/20/2006 9:45 pm

perhaps ever so slightly lol !

woofff 41F

3/13/2006 12:27 pm

No Mind.
The sound of one hand clapping.

I could not figure out why your hysteria made me nervous until I realized I am looking at my own reflection in your anger.The source is the same for our withdrawal from numbness:
You lash out in anger now
Of not measuring up to some
pre conceived notion of
Of never being fast enough, good enough,
hard enough, big enough, capable enough
of anything long enough to be able to relax.

Sanity is not the answer for you. That would mean Rationality.And that would be a given set of circumstances, which could be permutated
logically to conclude this, that or the other.

No-Mind is the answer.Not the absence of Mind itself. But the absence of Fear.

(I wonder if I made any sense to you.)

bigattitudeguy 53M
140 posts
3/15/2006 7:56 pm

To what do I owe this blessedness that you should speak such things to me? I am most humbled even to tears. Never have I heard such beautiful sounds, nor have I read lovely words. It must be karma, for I just read of this koan today, The sound of one hand clapping. Are you a Zen master? Are you a prophet? As for me, I'm not trying to make sense of anything any more. I just want to be and strip away my mind and become.

Sanity? Hmph! In a world of self imputed sane people. Yeah, right! That is funny indeed. You make a joke. LOL

What you say makes no sense at all to me. It does resonate very deeply with me though. Hah! But then I am trying to be like Solomon, who gave his heart to know madness and folly and wisdom and concluded that it is all vane. Vanity of vanities sayeth the preacher. All is vanity and vexation of spirit.

Keep speaking though, for you make better sense than a million "sane" people here.

By the Wooff, was that your koan? Is it the one where you attianed no-mind?


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