Wondering why?  

bicuriousfem256 36F
32 posts
11/30/2005 9:44 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Wondering why?

Why is it when people are set on something they quickly let there fear get the best of them? I know I tend to do that a lot and it frustrates me when I do, I can't for the life of me understand as to why I do it though.

For example, I have many people on here interested in meeting me to hook up and to be friends, also the guy I am dated finally agreed to let me fulfill me fantasies; but I can't get over me insecurities. Why is that? Many have told me you live life once and I should go have my fun while I can but when it comes down to it I freeze, why??

I so badly want to fulfill me needs and my fantasies but how do I get over my insecurities of myself and body, and over worrying if I am going to crush the one guy who truly loves and accepts me for who I am. He is not like most of the guys I have the horrible privilege of coming across, he is different, and he is special.

So what is it that I can do to just go with the flow and do what I so crave for before my opportunity runs out and I lose the chance to do as I want and please. If there is anyone who can give me advice and understand where I am coming from I would highly appreciate some advice and guiding.

Thanks for reading and listening bye for now.

bkbruiser 44M/44F  
3 posts
11/30/2005 10:11 pm

I understand exactly how you feel baby girl, but it's called SELF-ESTEEM. You have to understand that in order to love someone else, like I'm sure you do your man, you have to first love and be comfortable with yourself Physically, Mentally, and Emotionally. You have know that you are beautiful no matter what shape, size, color, etc. you are. As I've said before, it is your life and you are the only one who can live it (It's between you and your higher power). So if you have these fantasies that you want to make a reality, and you have a man that loves you enough to want to make them a reality for you, you have to just go for it or else you'll regret it for the rest of your life. And if it doesn't turn out the way you want it, which i hope it does, then at least you can say "well, i tried it, and i know that it's not what i want"; you don't have to wonder all of your life. So as i said before, whenever you are ready, i'm here to help you make it happen. Hope these thoughts can help you get over whatever anxieties you have, and if not, there's always a little liquid courage. )

bicuriousfem256 36F
11 posts
12/1/2005 8:05 am

Hey hun thanks for your reply you make alot of sense hun. I know your right and I know I just have to get off my high horse and I plan to soon. And I would like to get to know you so we could see if we could make this happen. Well talk to you soon bye for now.

manupforall 58M

1/3/2006 12:18 pm

There is a very good book out that covers this very well but the title is what you really need to know.

"Feel the fear and Do It Anyway"

You can also reframe the emotions and lables you put on them a bit.
Like this, "This is scary, my stomach is churning and I don't know if I can do it" can change to, "Wow, this is exciting! I am charged up and ready to go and nothing can stop me from having a great time."

It does sound too simple but it also works, for most people who try it.

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