I wasn't always a sexy beast  

bedroomice2003 44M
359 posts
7/13/2006 12:33 am

Last Read:
12/11/2007 1:14 am

I wasn't always a sexy beast

In my younger and more vulnerable years I would pass up sexual opportunities which presented themselves, sometimes quite literally, in my face. I was a gentleman, a poet, and completely hopeless. Women would sit down and talk with me in a restaurant and throw subtle and sometimes not-so-subtle hints to me that they were interested, and I would more or less completely fail to recognize these sexual cues. I would hang out with the girls and be “just friends”, never realizing the buffet that awaited me if I had just asked.

As a teenager in Europe, I was invited by some of my female schoolmates to attend a special party where there would almost certainly be sex, and I shrugged them off, believing it to be a ruse to play some cruel joke on me. A few years later, I would go to strip clubs and be given extra special attention by some of the dancers who would often spend their entire dinner breaks talking to me without hustling me for a table dance ‒ just shooting the shit and being asked some very personal details which I misinterpreted as friendly conversation and nothing more ‒ even after one of them asked me what I was doing after the place closed. I told her the truth. I was going home to get some well-deserved, albeit frustrated sleep. I felt like a lion cub that scares away its carefully stalked prey with a misplaced “meow!”

I remember on a trip to Hawaii sitting on the aisle seat next to a lovely young woman who flirted, flipped her hair, laughed at my inane pop culture references, and found whatever opportunity she could to touch my shoulder. Nothing. Not only was I gentleman, but I was, apparently, a gay priest as well. She had one of those airline blankets across her lap since it was a long flight and she had used it to sleep.

As we started our descent, we talked some more, and she sounded as though she was out of breath and her eyelids drooped as I regaled her with tales from my youth. Oblivious, I hardly noticed that her left hand was out of view as we talked, hidden underneath the blanket. It took me hours to realize that this sweet girl, this tropical goddess with smoldering brown eyes who lived in Honolulu with her off-again-on-again boyfriend of two years had been masturbating right next to me! When it came time to deplane, she made sure to bend over in front of me, giving a loving glimpse of soft breasts, and smooth brown nipples beneath her slim, low-cut shirt (no bra). I helped her with her bags and bid her farewell.

Older and wiser, I have kept a mental inventory of all those missed opportunities and still kick myself for my naïveté, wondering how I managed to survive it.

amoldenough 70F
16436 posts
7/13/2006 1:42 am

There is nothing wrong in being naive and innocent. I'm sure you have since made up for lost time~

"Don't cry because it's over; smile because it happened."

bedroomice2003 44M

7/13/2006 2:20 am

amoldenough, in many ways I'm still making up for lost time. On the one hand, I failed to take advantage of opportunities because I was naive and unsure of myself. On the other hand, I was also very sweet and considerate, and continue to be with the people I'm intimate with.

SweetDarlinAngel 39F
2996 posts
7/13/2006 9:48 am

I think those "missed" opportunities are what have made you the man you are today. And I am very thankful for him.


rm_wetfingeraz 54F
3012 posts
7/13/2006 6:00 pm

So what was your Light Bulb Moment?

bedroomice2003 44M

7/13/2006 11:45 pm

wetfingeraz, I don't think there was a specific moment. I just matured, started taking a little more pride in myself, and became more attuned to the signals women put out. I suppose I had a slight advantage in that I already had a pretty good idea what women wanted from spending so much time with them as a friend, eager to learn. You could say I come pre-trained!

playrigal, I just didn't have enough confidence in myself to recognize the signs. There was a time in my life when I felt as though I was an outsider looking in when it came to women and life. And then I realized life is too short not to take a chance and enjoy myself. I don't really regret those days, it just took me a while to blossom into the person I am now.

SweetDarlinAngel, I don't think I could worship you the way I do were it not for those experiences. Fortunately, I've never heard you complain.

MoutnainGirl 37F

7/28/2006 6:37 am

OMG.. I can very much relate to this. I am a shy perosn in the real world and react (still) in the same sense you have in your previous encounters. That's why I love this site so much. It's up front and forward and I don't have to think less of the guy because he's hitting on me looking to "get some"..

How could you have not figured out she was masturbating though?!?

Moutnain Girl

Visit my blog: MoutnainGirl

bedroomice2003 replies on 7/28/2006 6:48 pm:
I was so naive that I think I just put blinders on. Even if she had opened her legs and started playing with herself right there in front of me without any pretense or blanket, I still probably wouldn't have said anything. I didn't even realize she was masturbating until after she had already left and I slowly put the pieces together. I'm still shy to this day - I rarely approach women face to face, so I prefer to create an environment where they come to me. And I can recognize the signs when they're interested much easier than I could in my teens and early 20s. I'm much more confident now than I was back then. Just part of growing up.

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