My Mom  

bbwDDs4XXX 60F
71 posts
4/8/2006 9:34 am

Last Read:
4/8/2006 12:13 pm

My Mom

I was the middle child of 5, my older brother was 12 years older, my older sister was 10 years older, my younger sister was 1 1/2 years younger and my little brother is 5 years younger. Everyone said it was like having two families. My Mom was diagnosed with Parkinson's disease when I was around 5 years old. At that time she was the youngest person ever to be diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease. I don't know if that statistic still holds true. My older brother was grown and out of the house. I don't remember much interaction with him. On the other hand I remember a lot of things with my older sister. She was always mean to me. She took on the mother role due to my Mom's illness. I was so happy when she got married when I was 9 and she moved out. My little sister and I both got to have our own rooms on the second floor. Our little brother had his own room on the first floor, part on an additon built when my Mother was pregnant with him. My Dad built this house. It was beautiful, spacious in an upper class neighborhood. But with my older sister moving out I had to become the female head of the household. I had to cook, clean, do laundry and take care of my Mom and watch my younger siblings and I was a child myself. I already had to do a lot of these things because my older sister had her social life and was gone alot. I always wanted to make sure the chores were done so I could get out of the house and go play. I had to come in every hour or so and check on Mom. And my little brother was never too far away. My little sister on the other hand was content to stay home so she would lollygag around. I would end up doing all the chores just so I could leave. We couldn't go out if the chores weren't done. It used to infuriate me. One of her favorite things to do was go to the bathroom after supper. She would stay in there until I had the dishes done and the food put away. Man, I would be so pissed off. I would complain to my Dad but he never did anything. That would make me even angrier and I always felt he liked her better. As my Mom's conditioned worsened she needed help with things. We had to help her stand up and to start walking. At first if we could get her to start walking she could walk on her own. Eventually we had to walk with her. I was responsible for giving her baths. Remember I am only a young teenager by this time. She wet herself a lot which meant lots of clothes changes, more laundry and cleaning. My Dad had several businesses, was an active MOOSE and VFW member so those activities kept him away from home much of the time. It was a hard time for me. When a young girl needs her Mom the most to teach and guide her I was the one taking care of her. I don't remember much of my Mom as the Mother. Friends and family that remembered my Mom in her good and healthy years say she was a beautiful person. I wish I would have had that pleasure of knowing her then. All I remember is her stiff, jerky movements. The inability to talk. Just after I turned 18 my Dad finally decided it was too hard for my Mom to be taken care of at home. He put her in a private, beautiful nursing home. I feel I had to grow up at an early age and that I never had a Mother to nuture me and guide me. It was a very difficult time. I was filled with hurt, anger and resentment. I envied the relationships my friends and classmates had with their Moms. For the last several years of Mom's life she was bedridden and didn't know us. Dad moved her to Texas when I was 20. My sister and her husband transferred down there because of his job and he followed them taking Mom with him. She died when I was 25. I didn't get to go to her funeral. I had knee surgery the day she died. I was unable to travel. I was in the hospital the day of her funeral. Since all my family was out of town the doctor made me stay in the hospital because there was no one to take care of me. There was the sweetest little LPN that sat with me almost her entire shift to hold my hand and comfort me. It was one of the saddest days of my life.

rm_art_persists 51M
1789 posts
4/8/2006 10:58 am

It's tough to be a kid yet be expected to take on adult reponsibilities. In the end I have to wonder why your Dad did not arrange something else since he could afford this upper class home?

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