Something Just Fell Out of My Ass  

bardicman 50M
7540 posts
1/24/2006 12:20 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Something Just Fell Out of My Ass


He was a dark and stormy knight.
She was a damsel in dis dress
His penis was chaffed by the chain mail
and his nipples had worn off his chest

Its hard being a knight he thought
can't even bend over for a kiss
Some dumb designer forgot the zipper
so my knee joints rust when I piss

My horse gets all nervous when I ride out of town
his horse cock is dragging the ground
his back is bowed like a weeping willow tree
cause suited up I weigh a thousand pounds

Now fare maiden standing there in dat skirt
I said fare because I'm sure there is a fee
If I wanted to joust her pussy with my lance
just how much would she be charging me?

Some local soldier just now asked me
why I was standing here scoping her
Well, a little cunt is what I want
but I lost my can opener.

© JDL 2006



I am not dead yet


rm_saintlianna 45F
15466 posts
1/24/2006 1:48 pm

Was it a small gerbil?


SolarPowered0 67M
8018 posts
1/24/2006 2:11 pm

Bard...

I am so relieved to find, within this poem, you have been quite careful to use the term 'chain mail' rather than "chained male." *ROTFLMAO*

Solar...

BTW: I've been resting up, as it were.


pinkplaytoyz 49F

1/24/2006 2:36 pm

So, what you're really saying is "Shrivelry" is dead...?


bardicman 50M

1/24/2006 2:51 pm

Saint - If it was it had to be really really small... And it invaded me anally whilst I slept.



I am not dead yet


bardicman 50M

1/24/2006 2:52 pm

Solar - Well hell man you should be well rested.

Blog on Brother.



I am not dead yet


LadytoPleaseYou 64F
5447 posts
1/24/2006 3:00 pm

ROFLMAO

PENIS CHARMING....where are you?


rm_DaphneR 58F
7938 posts
1/24/2006 3:14 pm

Hehehe...is dis dress, I liked that.

Have tongue, will use it. Repeatedly.


impish_pixie 54F
6867 posts
1/24/2006 3:36 pm

Perhaps the knight could use some WD40???

I make mistakes, I am out of control & at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best. ~Marilyn


sweetsilkysexy 49F

1/24/2006 4:10 pm

at the rate you're going, you're never going to find the holy grail


ArealUnicorn 44F

1/24/2006 6:34 pm

oh bard I always wanted a fair tale but oh well I see it in a new light...


im_curious_4u 50M

1/24/2006 7:00 pm

"His penis was chaffed by the chain mail
and his nipples had worn off his chest"

That is a new classic! Too funny.


keithcancook 60M
17718 posts
1/24/2006 7:19 pm

The Troubador of BlogLand hath strucketh again!

Forsooth!


freespirits97 50M/53F
3 posts
1/24/2006 7:36 pm

Nice blog title, my favortite JT song, this is the f half of freespirits97. Interesting blog entries!


rm_Bct2Esi 50M/50F
1375 posts
1/24/2006 7:46 pm

ROFLAO.....thank you for the laughs
I need to slide back on dis dress LOL

hugs, luvs and smiles


online69n 51F

1/24/2006 7:49 pm

you don't need a zipper-
it comes off in pieces..............


bardicman 50M

1/24/2006 9:19 pm

Pink - BAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! That is just too good.

Its winter time and cold.. Shrivelry is alive and well.



I am not dead yet


LadytoPleaseYou 64F
5447 posts
1/24/2006 10:12 pm

I don't think he's after the holy grail, but the unholy whore. However holy or unholy, if he don't get a hole in his armor the unholy whore's hole will not be grailed. Her cup will not runneth over.

PENIS CHARMING....where are you?


Sexy_Not_Cheap 61F

1/24/2006 10:29 pm

Thank you for the laugh. spilled out of me before i could catch it so i just enjoyed myself, repeatedly. that was great fun.

sexy_not_cheap
sexy_not_cheap


bardicman 50M

1/24/2006 10:46 pm

Ladytoplease - This is the stuff that comes easiest



I am not dead yet


bardicman 50M

1/24/2006 10:48 pm

Daph - Thank babe... dis dress dem shoes dat ourse



I am not dead yet


bardicman 50M

1/24/2006 10:49 pm

Slkysexy - If you would stop shining the holy grail beacon in the air....



I am not dead yet


bardicman 50M

1/24/2006 10:50 pm

Pixie - Just bring some KY and some cooking oil with you when you come



I am not dead yet


bardicman 50M

1/24/2006 10:51 pm

Unicorn - I will write you a fairy tail.



I am not dead yet


bardicman 50M

1/24/2006 10:52 pm

Keith.. BLOG ON !!!!



I am not dead yet


bardicman 50M

1/24/2006 10:53 pm

Freespirit F - Thank you so much and welsome to my humble little roof top.



I am not dead yet


bardicman 50M

1/24/2006 10:54 pm

BCT - naaaa dis dress is fine on the floor here.



I am not dead yet


bardicman 50M

1/24/2006 10:54 pm

Online.. maybe yours does..

Mine is a one piece



I am not dead yet


helga_hansen 49F  
1987 posts
1/24/2006 11:19 pm

Mmmmm... I've always fancied a knight in rusty armour. Now that I know, I'll bring that can opener you need!

Hx

Love, hugs and kisses from ♥♥HH♥♥


bardicman 50M

1/25/2006 5:27 am

Lady to please.. ROFL.. brilliant I tell you.

My metal cup runneth over and rusteth my armor.



I am not dead yet


bardicman 50M

1/25/2006 5:28 am

Sexy....notcheap.. that has a way of happening around here.

Welcome to my roof top.. Please, sit a spell and stay awhile.



I am not dead yet


bardicman 50M

1/25/2006 5:28 am

Helga... thats a really sharp object really close to my ARGHHHHHHHH



I am not dead yet


oldman1776 78M
3164 posts
1/25/2006 9:38 am

LMOAO. Just don't let her get a look at your face.


bardicman 50M

1/25/2006 10:30 am

oldman - Thats what the helmet is for



I am not dead yet


online69n 51F

1/26/2006 8:20 pm

Just one piece and you let someone put you in it?
Are you fitted into a straight-jacket as easily?
Were you on tranqulizers?


Become a member to create a blog