Shaving and stuff like that....  

bardicman 50M
7540 posts
11/16/2005 6:20 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Shaving and stuff like that....

travelingintexas has asked the question about men shaving their manly regions and the question is asked all the time on the Advice Lines.
OK, so after reading what the women had to say about the man shaving I got to thinking how nice it would be to have porno balls. (You know where all the hair is removed except for the tuft above the penis) So..... Well, I guess I shoulda asked exactly how to do this but anyways I got in the shower and turned the water on nice and warm and started to furiously lather my package with "Lever 2000". I put my left foot on the bottom side of the left of the tub and my right foot I hiked up on the right side of the tub and started to shave the area around my swinging sack. I decided that lots of soap was good so my left hand was busy keeping the suds flowing while my right was in charge of the razor. (Mmmmmm, Yes more lather please. Damn this "Lever 2000" is great for these parts.) Just as I got to actually shaving my scrotum so it would be smooth as the skin on a baby's butt my foot planted in the bottom of the tub slipped in the massive amounts of suds that had been accumulating. Needless to say I tried to catch my balance but ended up falling and on the way down my ass got painfully close to being impaled by the bathtub faucet. All in all the fall bruised me up but I did not break any bones.
So now I am really just wondering how you ladies feel about dating a man with only one testicle?

This is a repost from a question I asked on the Advice Line section of the magazine back in early August.




I am not dead yet


silkysmoothlegs3 105F

11/16/2005 6:56 am

I hope your ok babes

kisses sore botty better

silky xx


caressmewell 53F

11/16/2005 9:49 am

Hope you are ok! May I suggest that you sit on the side of the tub next time or put a non-skid mat on the shower floor.

Like the new picture.


SolarPowered0 67M
8018 posts
11/16/2005 11:07 am

Bard...

Not sure I am qualified to comment on the one testicle date issue; however, this could be a way of avoiding a no testicle date...

I've found that using a sling (of sorts) is just the ticket. I've got mine rigged from a 3-axis gantry over the shower. Using this overhead setup, along with a swivel grabhook clipped to my climbing harness, I have almost 327 degrees of freedom (call me a spinner of sorts.) What a wonderful sensation to be total suspended above the floor pan with a full tank of hot water, and a can of Colgate Aloe Vera shaving cream. Ahhhh yes! Oh, did I mention a razor? Hmmmm... almost forgot the razor.

You can get 'em at Walmart, too (the slings.) It's obvious, from your superior intellect as manifest here in AFFland, you don't work that particular department or you would have discovered this item on your own and concluded much the same; of this, I am quite confident. Ask the boys in logging and rigging equipment - I think they'll be able to point you right to them.

BTW: Is this how you recently acquired that "torn" muscle.
BTW2: Has that fan helped out with the scorched scrotum?

Rumors on the Street... (I did say rumors?)

Dateline: Las Vegas, NV

Krissy and Serendipity have decided to join forces in the online war-of-words. Common enemy #1??? Well, no one is sure and speculation is rampant, yet no confirmation has been forthcoming. Rewcrew seems high on the list of possibles. Current odds - 7 to 5. Will advise...

Dateline: Mt. View, CA

AFFland is rumored to be sporting a variation on the idea of "pay per view." Their revenues have dropped off significantly during the last few outages (they refer to them as posting lags) and they have come up with a plan to employ an enhanced business model. When posting questions, and subsequent responses, those receiving a score of 1.633849 or higher will become a credit of sorts against one's membership fees. Anything above that number will be subtracted from one's fees. Anything below it will be added to one's fees. Of course, these amounts will be based on pound sterling and converted to Euros using Italian lira borrowed from Brazilian clearing house bank drafts attached to apples from China for establishing the daily exchange rate factor in order to dollarize the payments required. So it might be a little more complicated than the current formula for responder ranking. However, they feel this will somehow generate much more legitimate questions and responses for the AD LINES and consequently revenue. Reliable sources close to HQ have indicated hearing higher-ups say, "Fuck them ALL!", when refering to members. Will advise...

Dateline: Redding, CA

Thinking of changing my dicpic to something less obtrusive. Not that I care what anyone thinks of it - other than for scaring off anyone who might be perusing your, or others, blog. (A question of respect for your legend.) Any ideas? I was considering my Case 530 with the backhoe fully extended. Can you advise...

That dirty old man...

SolarPowered0 - Thank God! I'm someone else's Daddy now, baby girls...


themisskrissy 56F
2302 posts
11/16/2005 11:17 am

i would rather a man with one testical, then no balls at all....

Virtue Alone Ennobles


themisskrissy 56F
2302 posts
11/16/2005 2:53 pm

solar hon, you brought tears to my eyes... lmao
bard used to make me cry.. but he is much nicer now!! really lmao now

Virtue Alone Ennobles


spinmedown 49M
3626 posts
11/16/2005 3:32 pm

LOL
I'd missed that one.
I remember reading the rumors about it. LOL

Most people are other people... FUCKING CHARACTER LIMIT!!! ~Oscar Wilde


rm_MarkNGeorgia 64M
91 posts
11/16/2005 10:33 pm

I knew a guy that lost a testicle to cancer (It turned out not to be cancer after all, but that's a different story). He told me he was fitted with an artifical one so things would "hang" properly. Note that I never verified this personally, lol.


PrincessKarma 43F
6188 posts
11/17/2005 1:22 am

Date a man with only one testicle? Been there, done that, same diff.

As krissy said, better one testicle than no balls... and I seem to have more balls than a lot of men I know.

The Big Bang was the mother of all orgasms.PrincessKarma


PawPr1nt 51M
133 posts
11/17/2005 3:51 am

LMFAO

This is one of the most comical blogs I have yet read

I don't know whether to be sensible or stupid...

I'll try a bit of both.

The bathroom-story reminded me of a conversation I had on a gas-platform years ago. One of the barge-crew was Dutch and worked offshore to raise capital for a gay sauna he ran in Amsterdam. He told me that on that particular trip he was working towards paying off the (high) costs of moving the club's shower-knobs 6 inches higher from their previous position.. Reason? The customers were constantly breaking them, whilst 'sitting' on the ergonomically-shaped fittings, getting their own knobs dealt with!

Sigh...

Anyway, I also went for the semi-porn shave recently, on the recommendation of a GF; basically, sack & shaft only, with a paring-down of the main 'bush'. Looks tidy! Not in-you-face depilated, but tastfully displaying what little work of God I do have. Only problem is the post-shave itch I get for a day afterwards.

I have to look at my social/sexual schedule and do the restoration-work at least 2 days before an engagement, or I seem to behave like I have 'crabs'. Gals, we men can suffer for our beauty too, you know...


happy2surveUslav 39M

11/17/2005 11:26 am

ouch
ahhh yeh soap lather can be dangrous too a little soe in the tip can lead to some akeing times
you have to pratic your jymnastics the wors thing is to miss a spot


rm_DaphneR 58F
7938 posts
11/17/2005 11:47 pm

There's a solution to your problem Bard. Have a friend do the shaving for you.

Have tongue, will use it. Repeatedly.


Myhoneysrooster 68M
882 posts
11/18/2005 1:07 am

Thanks Bard!
Nice to knoiw we can always get a chuckle from you.


TopFisher 63M

11/18/2005 5:22 pm

"There's a solution to your problem Bard. Have a friend do the shaving for you."

Yes indeed, besides she is probably very experienced in razors and very sensitive areas!!!!

Well you can wander over to Travs blog to see how I do it and prevent injury by NOT being off the carpet!


barbiebunny 36F
5597 posts
11/18/2005 7:14 pm

I had a date with the uniballer... but what made me really cringe was the lever2000 on his nads.... NO PEOPLES!!!

Its good to be...ME


bardicman 50M

11/18/2005 8:10 pm

Solar - There is nothing like ones backhoe being totally extended. Personally I like my 580-M but hey......



I am not dead yet


Hippink 35F
4499 posts
11/20/2005 11:21 am

Let me shave you next time, Darling.


rm_PurryKitty2 48M/50F
9753 posts
11/21/2005 2:57 pm

Ouch! You may want to try NAIR hehehehehheheee.......I am just glad you didnt cut yourself because the scab would have been hard to explain

Purry

Purry


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