My Bird Brained List  

bardicman 50M
7540 posts
3/11/2006 1:00 pm

Last Read:
3/21/2006 6:38 pm

My Bird Brained List

1. I was born severely pigeon toed.

2. Then I got a bad case of Chicken Pox.

3. The name of my hometown community is Finch.

4. Then I lost my dick in a motorcycle crash and got a woodpecker.

5. When it comes to love I am gullible.

6. I love chickadee's with small to medium boobies.

7. Some people think I am an old coot that is cuckoo.

8. My ex-wife is a fucking loon.

9. I like tits.

10. What the fuck... Swallows ROFL......

11. AND SHAGS !!!!!!

12. I once fell in love with a Manakin (see above reference to shags and swallows.

13. But I am not bittern.

14. This post is fowl.

15. I love performing oral sex until the redstarts, then I might take 5 days or so off.

16. Since I am not taller maybe I need a pair of stilts.

17. I got really drunk one time and couldn't find the bathroom so I had yellowlegs.

18. I went hunting once but I couldn't killdeer.

19. In my life I have few egrets.

20. Don't have sex with a stranger unless you are wearing a trogan.

21. Sometimes I like it gentle, other times I like it ruff.

22. If redstarts in the middle of copulation you get redpole.

23. Once I jumped on the bed and hit my head on the raptors.

24. This morning for breakfast I had a big bowl of corncrakes.

25. I will probably die of the bird flu.

I am not dead yet

bardicman 50M

3/11/2006 1:35 pm

SD - Thanks cutey, I am so glad you noticed.... ROFL

I am not dead yet

themisskrissy 56F
2302 posts
3/11/2006 2:29 pm

i bet you are a stellar jaywalker too....
remember mr turkey vulture we all have eagle eyes on you!!!

Virtue Alone Ennobles

themisskrissy 56F
2302 posts
3/11/2006 2:30 pm

and tern is always fair play!!

Virtue Alone Ennobles

rm_Mzhineyhole 36F
138 posts
3/11/2006 3:20 pm

You are an idiot mr bardicman fucker.

SexySadie2642 38F
36 posts
3/11/2006 3:25 pm

So spread my drumsticks and hit me with some cock.

bardicman 50M

3/11/2006 3:35 pm


I am not dead yet

bardicman 50M

3/11/2006 3:35 pm

Mzhiney.. thanks Bitch

I am not dead yet

bardicman 50M

3/11/2006 3:36 pm

Sadie - No thanks.

I am not dead yet

rm_DaphneR 58F
7938 posts
3/11/2006 4:12 pm

You know if you get the urge to shit on someones windhshield you're a goner!

Have tongue, will use it. Repeatedly.

SolarPowered0 67M
8018 posts
3/11/2006 5:29 pm

Ya know, if it walks like a duck and talks like a duck - it might just be Bard out for a stroll in the stock pens.


ticktock500 43M

3/11/2006 5:34 pm

(mzhineyhole?-who is that?)
now i'm gonna have to have some popeye's for dinner

themisskrissy 56F
2302 posts
3/11/2006 6:05 pm

sorry, that should have read tern about is fair play... some days i am not to swift

Virtue Alone Ennobles

rm_SultryVirgo 48F
567 posts
3/11/2006 6:53 pm

Bard all in one post you can be wise as an Owl and funny as a lark


oldman1776 78M
3164 posts
3/11/2006 7:11 pm

I knew you were in need of mental help. but me thinks its to late.

jadedbabe78 105F

3/11/2006 7:25 pm

LOL...well alrighty....this doesn't excuse you from wearing the neon colored speedos, ya know?

caressmewell 53F

3/11/2006 7:41 pm

LOL, I need some boots to walk through all the bird shit on this post.

bardicman 50M

3/12/2006 3:02 am

Daphne - I know.. I am worried. I hope people have some good windshield wipers.

I am not dead yet

bardicman 50M

3/12/2006 3:03 am

Solar - ROFL !!!!!

I am not dead yet

bardicman 50M

3/12/2006 3:04 am

ticktock - Thanks.. Dont mind mzhiney.. she is a 25 year old lesbian with issues.

I am not dead yet

bardicman 50M

3/12/2006 3:05 am

Krissy - How about a swift shag with swallows

I am not dead yet

bardicman 50M

3/12/2006 3:06 am

Sultry - Why thank you.

I am not dead yet

bardicman 50M

3/12/2006 3:07 am

oldman - There is always a chance you could be right

I am not dead yet

bardicman 50M

3/12/2006 3:08 am

Jaded - I know this is a fetish you have and thats ok since I have it too

I will wax your kitchen floor asap

I am not dead yet

bardicman 50M

3/12/2006 3:08 am

Caress - BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.. oh that was priceless

I am not dead yet

ArealUnicorn 44F

3/12/2006 4:53 am

well bard too bad we couldn't fly like the bird's cause you would be getting goosed by supper time...and then you couldn't complain of BLUEjay balls...

HBowt2 58F

3/12/2006 5:11 am

duck....theres a frying pan heading swiftly your way....

bardicman 50M

3/12/2006 10:08 am

Unicorn.. hmmmm .. interesting thought.. I am still hung up on the swallows ROFL

I am not dead yet

bardicman 50M

3/12/2006 10:08 am

Hbow - ROFL.. I wish people would have yelled duck years ago.

I am not dead yet

jadedbabe78 105F

3/12/2006 12:14 pm

Bard, you're kitchen floor still needs the waxing and the speedo I have found for you is still on the hanger in the closet.

Hop to it!

LadytoPleaseYou 64F
5447 posts
3/12/2006 1:24 pm

Bard, I am surprised that your parrots allowed you to grow up without some mental help since you are such aloon. However maybe they are just happy that you didn't grow up robin people. But I did hear that they sent you snipe hunting several times as a child to try and lose you.

PENIS CHARMING....where are you?

TopFisher 63M

3/14/2006 3:57 pm

I think bard is suffering from the BIRD FLEW!!!

catseyes23 61F

3/15/2006 11:26 pm

Hilarious. Where do you think these things up?!


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