I Want a Cross on the Side of the Highway !!!  

bardicman 50M
7540 posts
5/16/2006 3:52 pm

Last Read:
6/19/2006 7:47 am

I Want a Cross on the Side of the Highway !!!

Three Wooden Crosses
Written by Doug Johnson and Kim Williams.
Performed by Randy Travis

I think the first verse and chorus is all I need to post to make my point.

.A farmer and a teacher, a hooker and a preacher,
Ridin' on a midnight bus bound for Mexico.
One's headed for vacation, one for higher education,
An' two of them were searchin' for lost souls.
That bus driver never ever saw the stop sign.
An' eighteen wheelers can't stop on a dime.
(Chorus)
There are three wooden crosses on the right side of the highway,
Why there's not four of them, Heaven only knows.
I guess it's not what you take when you leave this world behind you,
It's what you leave behind you when you go.

Hmmm, I heard this song today on the radio and I started thinking about it.

Thinking really hard about it.

Three wooden crosses for the ones who died in the crash. Why weren't there 4? What the hell do you mean 4? How many people were on the bus? well, there was the farmer(1), the teacher(2), a hooker(3), and a preacher(4). So there were 4 people on the bus and if you have heard the song you know that the hooker survived hence the 3 wooden crosses instead of 4.

STOP THE FUCKING PRESSES !!!!!

There were more than 4 people on the bus. There was also the bus driver(5).

Thats right. There were 5 people on that bus. Now we have to wonder about the bus driver. Surely if he had of died there was someone in the world who cared enough about him to leave a cross on the side of the road for him. Since there is a cross lacking for him we have to assume that he lived. Also, since he lived yet he is not mentioned in the list for possible cross recipients ( why there's not FIVE of them.)

Why do you suppose that in such a tragic accident the bus driver was forgotten?

I did, and I sat down and thought about it.

I thought really really hard and I figured it out.

The bus driver was left out of the main hook of the song because he was a less than honorable man. You see its like this, The hooker and the bus driver both survived the crash that resulted from the bus driver running the stop sign and the 18 wheeler plowing into the side of the bus. Why did they both survive? Because they were both occupying the same space in the bus. Yep, the drivers seat. The hooker was obviously giving head to the bus driver in order to pay her passage to Mexico. She was such an experienced cock sucker that the bus driver forgot what he was doing and ran the stop sign. Even though the driver of the 18 wheeler tried to stop he couldn't. The front of the bus just cleared the intersection and BOOM!!!!! The 18 wheeler slams into the side of the bus killing the farmer and the teacher and the preacher.

The moral of this story?

If you are a bus driver do not get head while driving because if you have an accident and people get killed you will not even be considered for a flowery little cross on the side of the road. And that sucks big nuts.




I am not dead yet


DIVISION77 39M
8328 posts
5/16/2006 4:20 pm

I like how Randy Travis ties morality in to his country songs.

I wonder if he truly subscribes to karma in that fashion, though.

DIV

"My every move is a calculated step, to bring me closer to embrace an early death." -Tupac Shakur


bardicman replies on 5/16/2006 10:43 pm:
Interesting thought Div, Although he is not the writer he did choose to sing it and others like it.

Hippink 35F
4499 posts
5/16/2006 5:21 pm

Oh dear. You've been thinking too much again.

For an encore, could you please spend all day thinking about what that mullet-head meant about his "Achey breaky Heart?" Let me know what you came up with. Do hearts have ears? I STILL haven't been able to figure that one out. *sigh*
Hippie XXX


bardicman replies on 5/16/2006 10:52 pm:
Achey breaky heart is about a man who saw this perfect ass staring at him and yet he could not reach out and touch it.

rm_saintlianna 45F
15466 posts
5/16/2006 5:37 pm

And that sucks big nuts

Sounds more like it sucks a big ol dick to me


bardicman replies on 5/16/2006 10:56 pm:
That would be attached to the big nuts

caressmewell 53F

5/16/2006 5:38 pm

I get so turned on when you get so logical.


bardicman replies on 5/16/2006 10:57 pm:
Mmmmmm Baby.

rm_PurryKitty2 48M/50F
9753 posts
5/16/2006 5:41 pm

This is a great song and describes so many moments in lots of people's lives!!

Purry {=}

Purry


bardicman replies on 5/16/2006 11:01 pm:
I guess but I have never gotten head while driving a bus. yet...

southrnpeach333 50F

5/16/2006 5:46 pm

Only you would think of this.


bardicman replies on 5/16/2006 11:03 pm:
Hey Peach, yes I like to do the hard thinking so you don't have too. I do that for all my friends.

ticktock500 44M

5/16/2006 6:46 pm

is this something i could see on cmt? i mean, that must be some video


bardicman replies on 5/16/2006 11:04 pm:
HAHAHAHA I would love to see THAT Video.

I will suggest you for the role of the bus driver.

elysianpleasure 47M

5/16/2006 9:08 pm

And to think if you would just focus that level of attention to solving world peace, a cure for AIDS, .... but crap... that was a heck-of-alot more fun


bardicman replies on 5/16/2006 11:07 pm:
one cure for aids that I learned when I was gay....

Sit on your ass and keep your mouth shut.



seriously, one has to wonder about a cure for aids. The pharmaceutical companies make so much money off the medicines that treat the symptons I have to wonder if they are really seeking a cure for the disease.

header1979 37M
507 posts
5/16/2006 9:28 pm

WOW, Bard, where does all this come from? You have a mind that goes where no man has gone before.

Take it EZ.

Header


bardicman replies on 5/16/2006 11:08 pm:
My mind goes where most normal people are happy their mind wont go

LustyTaurus 48M  
21253 posts
5/16/2006 10:19 pm

Never get head
While driving a bus
Cause if you end up dead
No one will FUCKING GIVE A RATS ASS ABOUT YOUR SORRY ASS FOR BEING SO SELFISH AND NOT WATCHING WHERE THE FUCK YOU'RE GOING GUS!!!

Hey...at least it rhymes...

lustytaurus


bardicman replies on 5/16/2006 11:09 pm:
But you summed the post up wonderfully Lusty.

jadedbabe78 106F

5/16/2006 11:51 pm

You know how hot I get when you think and analyze.


bardicman replies on 5/16/2006 11:59 pm:
You know how hot I get when I think about you getting all hot

chasingfun27 38M
1108 posts
5/17/2006 12:07 am

The bus driver was enjoying his BJ from the hooker, but what did she do when a huge impact struck the bus? Yes, she bit down! Unfortunately the song would have become far too long and boring had they tried to chronicle the Drivers ride to hospital, emergency reattachment, months of physical therapy and subsequent reliance on a hydraulic pump.

Hope I cleared this up for you bardi.


bardicman replies on 5/17/2006 3:51 am:
Interesting thoughts Chase.. hence the line from the song,

I guess it's not what you take when you leave this world behind you,
It's what you leave behind you when you go.

ticktock500 44M

5/17/2006 1:01 am

bardicman replies on 5/16/2006 11:04 pm:
HAHAHAHA I would love to see THAT Video.

I will suggest you for the role of the bus driver.
.
and the hooker would be???? (this better be good)


ticktock500 44M

5/17/2006 1:19 am

hahaha-you know what the bus driver is, right?


curious082385 31F
4925 posts
5/17/2006 4:04 am

Ok, can't stop grinning and shaking my head at you.
Where on earth do you get these thoughts from???
Good lord...too funny!


catseyes23 61F

5/17/2006 4:05 am

I simply adore it when you start analyzing and being logic. All in one go!

Cats


want2play926 45F

5/17/2006 5:33 am

ROTF.....this is so good! OMG

I see the hooker straddling the bus driver as she is bouncing on him. Her butt hits the steering wheel sending the bus off the road and hitting a big oak tree.

Just a thought


privatedancer407 53F

5/17/2006 1:45 pm

Hello,
After reading this story, I thought about it for some time. I came to the conclusion that the bus driver was the hooker's son because....the lyrics read:
"That's the story that our preacher told last sunday..as he held that blood stained bible up for all of us to see....(How did he get the Bible?)
HE SAID:Bless the farmer, and the teacher an' the preacher; "WHO GAVE THIS BIBLE TO MY MOMMA - WHO READ IT TO ME."
So, the hooker and her son lived, the bus driver (the son)was inspired to become a preacher.
By the way, I think you have a beautiful mind!


rm_1hotwahine 63F
21091 posts
5/17/2006 4:21 pm

What truly frightens me is that I knew you where you were headed with this.

Yeah, I'm still [blog 1hotwahine]


reverend21 49M
1913 posts
5/17/2006 7:29 pm

Damn! somebody besides me finlly thought about that! Kudos to you!


Notjustmanmeat 51M
39 posts
5/18/2006 2:49 pm

Dissected in minute detail. Nice one


deliciousngood 64F
1666 posts
5/18/2006 4:15 pm

aside from where you eventually GOT to:

Think about this...BOTH the hooker and the preacher were the ones searching for lost souls;WHO found one?


Catdoc2000 57M

5/18/2006 6:29 pm

Did you think that up yourself? Good material man!!!


rm_mzbitch2u 47F
63 posts
5/19/2006 4:15 pm

you are a GENIUS!!!


romeoMEETSjuliet 52M/52F
162 posts
5/19/2006 11:02 pm

She says - Okay. I’ve reevaluated my take on the lyrics and admit that I might have been mistaken.

For whatever reason, I always believed the hooker died in the crash along with the others, and that the absence of a cross referred to her immoral ways and lack of leaving anything “important” behind, or that she had no one in her life who would offer a cross in her honor.

The preacher giving the sermon, I figured, was the son of the preacher who died in the crash. The bible having been recovered from the accident scene and returned to the widow by another preacher, who went on to share it with her son… Encouraging him to pursue a virtuous life, and to encourage others to do the same, by example of not wanting to leave the world without leaving something worthwhile behind.

It never occurred to me that there might have been survivors of the accident, or that the bus driver was catching a Hummer as it all unfolded. So thanks for the insight!

Now, could you give us your Deep Thoughts on “Ten Rounds With Jose Cuervo”?


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