Dear Santa....  

bardicman 50M
7540 posts
12/2/2005 5:37 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Dear Santa....

So I was just sitting here whacking to tillerbabe when it occurred to me.
I am having to work too many hours to do the things I want to do for my kids (real and otherwise) for Christmas.
Just this morning I bought my biological daughter the "Amazing Amanda" doll she wanted for Christmas. ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS.. OMFG for a doll. You go Santa Claus. You are going to score big with that one.
I work 364 days a year and put money back in the Christmas club account and this time of year I work my ass off and go without food and clean underwear just so my kids are happy. Just so the fat fucker that works the one night a year I am off to get the credit ????
I was talking to my good friend bulging_boy and he gave me a wonderful idea. This year when the kids wake up and run to the Christmas tree there will be nothing under it but some coal and dog turds and a few empty beer cans.
Thats right ya Fat Bastard. No more love for Santa from my kids. They will know you for the bell ringing, nasty smelling, beer breathed, cheap fuck you really are.
Yes, when the tears of disappointment are running down their little faces and their little hearts are breaking... Daddy will go to the closet and bring out all the goodies and say look kids. Santa ate the beef jerky and drank the beer and didn't leave you crap. But DADDY took care of you.
Daddy will get the praises for the sweat of his brow and not some elf lovin man in a red suit...

I am not dead yet

bulging_boy 49M

12/2/2005 5:49 am

and *that's* how Christmas should work!


caressmewell 53F

12/2/2005 5:51 am

lmao, you gonna go to hell..see ya at the party!

tillerbabe 55F

12/2/2005 5:53 am


bardicman 50M

12/2/2005 6:08 am

bulge - Yes it is. Thanks for the heads up.

Caress - I hear it warm in hell in the winter woohoo new pic for you too. Shweeet !!

Tiller - Gotta love the new pic. Merry Christmas indeed....

I am not dead yet

AlbertPrince 57M

12/2/2005 6:27 am

bard - great plan, you need to market the idea - kids don't give a shit where the goodies come from. Let's put the fat mane out of business

bardicman 50M

12/2/2005 6:44 am

Albert - The day of the fat man is over... working parents unite

I am not dead yet

keithcancook 60M
17718 posts
12/2/2005 7:00 am

It's not nice to diss Santa Claus...

bardicman 50M

12/2/2005 7:23 am

Keith - But I .. Oh wait you said DISS Santa Claus..... I know but .. Well.... He gets credit..... I do work.... Sigh...

I am not dead yet

rm_Mzhineyhole 36F
138 posts
12/2/2005 9:35 am

Just like a man. Wanting credit for everything. A man tried to take credit for creating me but my mom set his ass straight fast.

SolarPowered0 67M
8018 posts
12/2/2005 10:41 am


Most excellent! Just think - you get the kids to hate that fat bastard and they'll never believe Santa's not real! Consequently, he gets screwed down the line when your grandkids get taught the same lesson! It's curtains for that fat fucker's future P&L... and his stock will nose-dive - right straight to HELL! The elves will strike because their options ain't worth a shit and without a labor force, that lazy-assed glory hoggin' Santa is - POOF - outta business... brilliant, Bard... BRILLIANT!!!


rm_DaphneR 58F
7938 posts
12/2/2005 12:43 pm

You have a problem with elf lovin'?

Have tongue, will use it. Repeatedly.

expatbrit49 62M

12/2/2005 2:16 pm

hey I'm with my ol' pal, dont be hard on Santa, I bet he brought you presents when you were young

Thank You for Your Time and Attention

DTand5Speed 41M/50F

12/2/2005 3:46 pm


spinmedown 49M
3626 posts
12/2/2005 5:23 pm

Don't forget to save the receipts for future guilt trips.

Most people are other people... FUCKING CHARACTER LIMIT!!! ~Oscar Wilde

bardicman 50M

12/2/2005 6:21 pm

Solar - I wasn't trying to convince them that santa was not real...

Daphne - Elves too ??????? ewwwwwwwwwwww

Expat - He did bring me presents.. I wonder if my dad ever felt like this...

DT&5 - Hey you two.. Best of holiday wishes together.

Spinman - Guilt Trips.. Oh thats just wrong.. *makes mental note to save receipts...*

I am not dead yet

themisskrissy 56F
2302 posts
12/2/2005 6:40 pm

goddamn... who the hell's been kissing me under the mistletoe all those christmas eves if not santa???????????

Virtue Alone Ennobles

kyplowboy22 61M

12/2/2005 6:42 pm

OK, bard, we'll take turns standin watch for the ol weasel, then we'll nail his sorry ass the wall. Cut them whiskers off and hang 'em from a string, just like you do turkey beards in spring season. lol Got some people over here that just love deer meat. Yeah, hide all the evidence....yeah, that's the ticket.


PS: good to have a partner in crime...guess you read my sentiments on the old turd over at my blog.

bardicman 50M

12/2/2005 7:57 pm

krissy - *blink blink* Did you really think Santa had a southern accent ??

KY - hmm maybe [post 158379] did have something to do with my sudden thoughts of displeasure of the old man....

I am not dead yet

rm_titsandtires 51M/41F
3656 posts
12/2/2005 9:19 pm

that's a great idea. I'm on it.

*flippin the bird t'wards the north pole*


duststormdiva 51F
6854 posts
12/3/2005 11:07 am

Elf lovin man! lmao!


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