Why I like "fake trees" Over real ones  

barbiebunny 36F
6789 posts
12/15/2005 11:30 am

Last Read:
5/25/2006 1:33 am

Why I like "fake trees" Over real ones

Case No 1. "Getting Nailed"

When I was 6 it was our first Christmas without my dad as my parents were going thru a divorce. Mom was a lil strung out but we all went with my godfather to get the Xmas tree from the tree farm. Well, for some reason the tree would not balance right in the stand and it fell over and broke the star on the top we had since I was born. Naturally it was traumatic to see something like that..and a decorated 8 foot tree come crashing to the ground and water everywhere.

Trip to thriftys (like a rite aid) and a 10 cent scoop of ice cream later, we got a new star. And over went the tree again. I swear I diddnt do it..or touch it!! (maybe my brother tho) After the tree crashed down for the 3rd time, my mum calmly went into the garage, grabbed a handfull of 6 inch nails and a hammer and nailed that tree to the floor, thru the carpet. I believe the tree stayed up until Feb or March.

Case No.2 "KittyKat Treehouse"

In a bran new Chevy truck named Lula, My brother cowboy'd up and bought the biggest live tree I ever seen when he was living at my Dads house. He had vaulted cielings at the time, so my brother put up a 15 foot pine tree in the living room, and decorated it. I swear he drove to a mountain in the middle of the night and cut it and brought it back.. freekin paul bunyan.

Anyway, my brother had a cat named Wyatt. He was a basic black and white cat. What do cats do? Yup.. they climb trees.

Wyatt climbed to the top of the tree to hide out. After the the tree tumbling over years ago.. My brother did see to it that the tree he bought wouldnt fall over..Maybe he nailed it to the floor too..I dunno. Anyway back to Wyatt..you know how kitties like to eat green grass? Well, Wyatt ate the needles off the tree, stuck his head out of the top of the tree, hacked, and barfed down the front of my brothers tree.

So much for live trees again...which leads me to live tree story No3....well technically...

Case No 3. "Dead Trees Tell No Tales..NOT"

Another Christmas at my mothers side. This time its the first Christmas after her second husband (my stepfather) died. My poor mother..("one walked out & another was carried out...") Anyways, a friend of hers owned a nursery. He said he'd give her a free tree. So we went there to get the tree and we narrowed it down to 2 trees. The season is a stressful one and the second time she'd ever gone tree hunting without a husband. I liked one tree..she liked another. We got bitchy with each other and fought over which tree was best. After about a half hour of bickering I gave in and let her have her tree.

We set it up, put it in water.. decorate it.. put the "bad" side of the tree to the wall..and away we go!

*next day* I feel the needles..humm they seem to be getting a lil dry..*after 4 days.. shit its needles are yellowing..a branch snapps off and a pile of needles are on the floor.

Im thinking to myself.. if I tell my mom she picked a dead tree thats gonna send her over the edge... and I gotta let her find it.. so I vaccuum up the needles that fell, get that spray snow in a can and frost the yellow needles. Shit, it was kindling waiting for a fire....Anyway week goes by and I ask her to check the tree..

She yells "OMG! I picked out a dead Christmas tree!!!"

Shocked *ya right* I meet her in the living room and play dumb.. I gave her an I told ya so..that she should have gotten my tree I picked out (least it looked alive) ..and the following year.. we both put up fake trees and never looked back...lol

Case No. 4 "Cheech"

(actual news report I caught on TV)

Animal rescue is called out to a house to get an owl out of a christmas tree. Upon rescuing the owl from the home, it had a funny smell. After blood tests run on the owl, it was found to be "stoned" ....Once sobered up he was released into the wild... (wonder if he went to taco bell?!)

U got any tree stories?

Love&Fake trees rule,

Its good to be...ME

keithcancook 60M
17865 posts
12/15/2005 12:00 pm

Do these trees eat barbiebunnies too? Have they been hanging with the potted palms?

rm_FreeLove999 46F
16127 posts
12/15/2005 12:04 pm

well our fake tree is the height of kitsch with fibre optic cabling through the branches so that it sparkles little coloured lights. christmas is the only time i do kitsch. i love it!

[blog freelove999]

papyrina 51F
21133 posts
12/15/2005 12:22 pm

my fake tree is twelve years old and still looks like new,i like the look of real ones but its such a shame to cut them down

I'm a

i'm here to stay

AnEnigma517 59M

12/15/2005 2:07 pm

Oh yeah... fake trees are the best. Especially for lazy guys like me... I don't even bother taking it down, just redecorate it for the appropriate season. Heartsy stuff for Valentine's Day, Easter Eggs, Americana for the 4th of July... (and I leave the lights up along the gutters, too. Clear, of course!)

Great new pic, by the way! (Yowza!)

oldman1776 78M
3164 posts
12/15/2005 8:36 pm

Mine is fake. Its white with purple lights and balls.

tillerbabe 56F

12/15/2005 10:07 pm

I never thought I could gain an appreciation of "fake" trees...but who knew?!?!? LOL!

Plano69 54M

12/16/2005 12:12 am

LMAO!!! Say, have you ever thought it might be the "cat"? Naw... couldn't be...LOL!
(I've got two cats, and they "bust my balls" on the tree... alot!)...

DTduzDallas 50F

12/16/2005 6:33 am

I'm on fake tree # 3. I'm not going through the hassle of cleaning up all those damn needles!

Kimmers777 106F

12/16/2005 8:31 pm

Decorating the tree with hairballs would surely cut down on the costs. Then again, so would spray painting the cat green and hanging him on the front door!

rm_titsandtires 51M/41F
3656 posts
12/16/2005 8:56 pm

Several years ago, a good friend of mine whose son is very hyper-active decided after the third or fourth tree falling episode of the week (he only had it up for three or four days so far) he went out to the garage and pulled some heavy fishing line off his reel, about 50 lb. test, and tied it up to the tree about 18 inches from the top and tied the other end to a small hook in the ceiling. It was completely invisible unless you were looking for it, and after testing it out a couple times, voila! Problem solved! The dog or the kids could run smack into it, and it would swing out, and gently fall back into near perfect posture. (Just got water all over the place)

SilkenKiera 38F  

12/19/2005 11:04 am

How funny was this post! The only story I have is my husband and I had our first Christmas together with our newly adopted wolf hybred who had never seen a Christmas tree before due to being in the SPCA for his entire young life kept releiving himself on our tree. He peed on our first Christmas tree 3 times before we could "train" him. To this day, I still don't decorate the tree all the way down, just in case.


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