TiT News exclusive  

barbiebunny 36F
6789 posts
10/12/2005 10:08 pm

Last Read:
5/25/2006 1:28 am

TiT News exclusive

(this is so hot u gotta look inside!)


Its good to be...ME


barbiebunny 36F
5597 posts
10/12/2005 10:26 pm

This is what the Bunny satillite spy cam caught on tape...

Here goes...

Last weekend TIT spied something at the pawn shop that tickled his fancy.
(Note: Keep in mind that his "fancy" is easily
tickled).

What he came across was a 100,000-volt,
pocket/purse-sized Taser gun with a clip.

(For those of you who are not familiar with this product, it is a less-than-lethal stun gun with two metal prongs designed to incapacitate an
assailant with a shock of high-voltage, low amperage electricity while you flee to safety.

The effects are supposed to be short lived with no long-term adverse affect on your assailant, but allowing you adequate time to retreat to safety.

You simply jab the prongs into your 250 lb. tattooed assailant, push the button, and it will render him a slobbering, goggle-eyed, muscle-twitching, whimpering, pencil-neck geek. If you've never seen one of these things in
action, then you're truly missing out--way too cool!)

Long story short, he bought the device and brought it home to the TiT travelingintexasranch. He loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button.

Nothing! He was so disappointed. Upon reading the directions (TIT don't need no stinkin'directions) He found much to his chagrin that this particular model would not create an arch between the prongs. How disappointing!

He does love fire for effect. He learned that if he pushed the button,however, and pressed it
against a metal surface that he'd get the blue arch of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs that he was so looking forward to. Trav did so.

(caught in the sound archives)~~~~~~~~~~
Awesome! Sparks, a blue arch of electricity, and a
loud pop!

Yipeeeeee!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

TiT's easily amused, (just for your information), but he has yet to explain to
his mother what that burn spot on the face of her microwave is.

Okay, so TiT travelingintexaswas home alone with this new toy, thinking to himself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two AAA batteries,
etc., etc.

There he sat in his recliner, his dog looking on intently(trusting little soul), reading the directions (that would be Trav, not the dog) and thinking that He really needed to try this thing out on a flesh and blood target.

He thought about zapping the dog for a
fraction of a second and
thought better of it.(damn PETA) He is such a sweet pup, after all. But, if He was going
to protect himself against a mugger, He did
want some assurance that it would work as advertised.

Was he wrong?Was he wrong to think that? It seemed reasonable to me (the caped crusader watching it on BunnTV at the time.)

So, there he sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with his glasses perched & delicately on the bridge of Tit's nose, directions in one hand, Taser in the other.

The directions said that a one-second burst
would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a loss of bodily control; a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water.

All the while Tit's looking at this little device
(measuring about 5" long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference, pretty cute really, and loaded with two itsy, bitsy AAA batteries) thinking to himself, "No friggin' way!"

(Friggin' way - trust me, but I'm getting ahead of
myself.)

What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best. Those of you who know Trav well have got a pretty good idea of what followed.

He's sitting there alone, the dog looking on with his head cocked to one side as
to say, "Don't do it buddy," reasoning that a
one-second burst from such ! a tiny l il' ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad (sound, rational thinking under the circumstances, wouldn't you agree?).

He decided to give himself a one-second burst just for the hell of it.

(part 2 exclusive below!)
~~SCOOP BarbieBunny
(with approval personally from Travelingintexas)
SPoof... humor u guys


Its good to be...ME


barbiebunny 36F
5597 posts
10/12/2005 10:27 pm

(Note: You know, a bad decision is like hindsight-
always 20-20.)

He touched the prongs to his naked thigh, pushed the button, and HOLY*********!DAaaaauuuuuuMN!!!

He's travelingintexaspretty sure that Jessie Ventura ran in through the front door, picked him
up out of that recliner, then body slammed him on the carpet over and over again. He vaguely recalls waking up on my side in the fetal position, nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, soaking wet, with his left arm tucked
under his body in the oddest position.

The dog was standing over TiT making
sounds He had never heard before, licking his face,undoubtedly thinking to himself, "Do it again, do it again! Jackhole!"

(NOTE: If you ever feel compelled to mug yourself with a Taser, one note of caution. There is no such thing as a one-second burst when you zap yourself. You're not going to let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor.. Then, if you're lucky, you won't dislodge one of the prongs 1/4" deep into your thigh like TIT)

SON-OF-A-***** ;that hurt! A minute or so later (He can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at this point), He collected his wits (what little he had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape. His glasses were on the TV across
the room. How did they get there??? His triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching. His face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and His bottom lip weighed 88 lbs. give or take an ounce or two, He's pretty sure.

By the way, has anyone seen TiT's testicles? He think they ran away. He's offering a reward. (see pic) They're round, ! kinda hairy, and handsome if he must say so himself. Miss 'em; He sure would like to get 'em back!!!


So In wrap up..there is a 3 sheep reward for finding Tit's travelingintexas balls that were zapped off.
That's why the front pic is so small!


~~ Scoop Barbiebunny
Note: this is a spoof from TiT approved roast day!

ps..look for late breaking photos once they are allowed up!


Its good to be...ME


tillerbabe 55F

10/13/2005 12:36 am

I have two dogs that have been looking for theit testicles for years!!!!!

What is he crying about....he has that "extra' baby arm sheesh!

(Good job Bunz!) {=}


barbiebunny 36F
5597 posts
10/13/2005 1:21 am

Nope ud never do that.. But i did tailor it just for you! Babiessssssss

Its good to be...ME


wanakissuallover 57M
411 posts
10/13/2005 2:08 am

ROFLMAO...sssshhhhhhh! everyone else is asleep!...ROFLMFAO...Huh?, that was either a jet from Hill Air Base just going over or TiT's balls flying north for the winter to cool off and regroup lol

Do i get the reward for just knowing where they went?
xoDxo


BLONDENEEDSSEX 57F

10/13/2005 2:26 am

Hahaahahahahahahahahahahaha I laughed so hard I choked, Thanks for the coffee splatter . ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww it`s even on my chair.


AmberSolaire 42M

10/13/2005 3:24 am

see I knew he had his uses.Saved me the bother when I buy one.Should endorse them on telly as not tested on animals.lol




Efilnikufecin69 47M

10/13/2005 7:36 am

Dman Buns, this time you were REALLY smokin'! Had me doing the "Dr. Pepper coming out my nose" spewing again! Too damn funny!

Love and Power to ya'{=}

Anthrax

as for TiT's balls, I think I saw them on Ebay. Matter of fact bella_ was highest bidder last I checked, but she has to battle it out with luke69er who is only $1.00 behind.


madkitten 53F
291 posts
10/13/2005 7:52 am

ROFLMAO brilliant, cant wait to see the pictures.


abmale1962 54M/52F
28 posts
10/13/2005 9:02 am

That was so funny it brought tears to my eyes. It reminds me of the time I convinced a friend of mine to find out if the ceramic igniter on the gas grill was producing an electrical current. That is a story for another time and yes, beer was involved.


JudeL5 46M
1550 posts
10/13/2005 9:55 am

Love it! **as he chokes and falls on the floor laughing** a blog almost as disabling as a Taser *wink*


dano6332 56M

10/13/2005 11:46 am

Barbie can we hear what happened the day Trav bought mace?


DefiniteTrouble 50F

10/13/2005 1:18 pm

LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

**wets self**


LustGoddess2469 50F  
2453 posts
10/13/2005 4:35 pm

OMG Bunny - that has to be one of the funniest posts I have read in a long, long time. Great job girl!

Lusty


rm_luke69iner 48M
3275 posts
10/13/2005 7:55 pm

LMAO

kind of creepy though to know that Trav's testicles are running around loose


S'io credesse che mia risposta fosse
A persona che mai tornasse al mondo,
Questa fiamma staria senza piu scosse.
Ma perciocche giammai di questo fondo
Non torno vivo alcun, s'i'odo il vero,
Senza tema d'infamia ti rispondo
.
~Dante~


34andahalf4U 49M/44F

10/13/2005 9:52 pm

(from us, lovingly)HERE'S YOUR SIGN...

PS...you could sue 'em for not putting it in the directions not to use it on yourself. 'Coarse, that is why Europeans think we are so stupid, all the obvious warning labels....LOL


toothysmile 50M
16515 posts
10/14/2005 12:47 pm

....laughing all the way to greece!...

bun, you 're killing me...


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