Return to Sender  

barbiebunny 36F
6789 posts
10/27/2005 6:24 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Return to Sender

Emotional Blackmail.

Stuff is the one thing on earth that makes me grind my stubborn bull heels in the ground and lower my horns for this Taurus.

Not gonna happen, not gonna put up with it.. sending the guilt, sorrow and shame back to where it belongs hopefully with a huge box of that they lack--compassion, empathy and understanding.

Selfishly they flog me about THEIR needs that Im not meeting. Well, my cup overflows most of the time, and I freely give a lot of me and that does make me somewhat an attractive friend/lover to have. But the wonderful things I give and share are overshadowed from a "what have u done for me lately mentality" and it disgusts me.

In a blue moon, I get dealt a bad hand of cards. Things break loose, family issues, health issues, emotional issues sometimes find a way of collapsing upon you at the most inconvienent times. I retreat, regroup into myself so I can conserve the energy I need..and this means sometimes I run dry for my friends. I need their help, giving, support or just an understanding I'll come up for air when I get my shit together again.

Lately, this has not been the case. I care about certain people a lot, but they have whined, griped, complained, made dramatic scenes and were even irrational and cruel in hopes of getting my attention.

These are people I care for deeply.. They decided to add to my stress then i diddnt need it at my worst, and showed their true colors..which I do hope it is a lack of maturity, as I do like to look for the best in people. I have tried to resolve this issue before but u did not think I was serious.

If i continue call them friends, its not the behavior I tolerate in my life. I am here to tell them they hurt me and to knock it off before Im pushed in a corner.

A nice friend sent me a well timed email of hope today and it said...

to nurture their needs, as well as your own.... without being used except because you wanted them to receive pleasure from you, without pretense, and then, it's more than being together, it's being fulfilled....


Ya, thats what I am all about.

Love&Understanding
or the 6in stiletto boots are coming out to squash
Bunz



Its good to be...ME


MsLoveRose 33F  
2432 posts
10/27/2005 8:21 pm

thank you so very much!!!!

live more, laugh often, love much


rm_sj365 55F
2414 posts
10/27/2005 10:06 pm

*wondering*
if i left now, its like a 3 hour flight to California. i could get off the plane, find a cab & tell him "get me to the bunny's house, this is an emergency!" and then pray to god he doesnt take me to hugh hefners place...
hop out of cab, race up the steps, pound on door (sorry, didnt mean to wake the neighbors cuz this would make it like 3am), barbie opens up the door ( are you crazy? what the hell are you doing opening up the door at 3am to a total stranger!) wrap my arms around her & squeeze her reallllllll hard. giggle, wave & back in the cab to the airport for the journey home.

yup...thats what i wanna do.

you are beautiful inside & out, loving & giving are your nature. recharge babe...soak up the love & recharge.


AmberSolaire 42M

10/28/2005 7:51 am

Not the gin stilettos.Prepares the nuclear bunker this could get explosive.


onelittlesecret 33M
1579 posts
10/28/2005 8:15 am

beautiful e-mail

and please don't hurt me with those spikes. Yikes!


Plano69 54M

10/28/2005 8:52 am

LOL! I thought only men complained about that about other women. It's amazing to hear it from an attractive woman.
I'm sorry, I don't mean I'm enjoying your frustration or distress. It's just so very insightful and eyeopening.
I guess we all tend to have our "moments" when we take others for granted and get selfishly needy. I think it's moments like these when you find out who your real friends are... Give them another chance but just remember, and see who comes to your rescue when you have a "downturn". Then you'll know which ones are the "keepers", and who the real "losers" are.
PS: Look at it this way. It's a compliment in a strange sort of way. They see you as a pillar of stability and strength when they're feeling lost and weak... But you're right, you have to take care of yourself too. Lose the emotional Vamps, or at least give them a good talking to.
Hope things get better.


SeekingFun337 64M/60F
657 posts
10/28/2005 10:32 am

In many ways, life is like a bank account where so many minutes, hours, and days were deposited when you were born. We make withdrawals daily, and use the minutes, hours, and days in ways decided by us, by outside influence, by the demands of life (you know, when u gotta go, u gotta go). Real friends add to our life by helping us use our account wisely, and keeping our minutes, hours, and days, filled with joy, anticipation (what is that present?), and provide a shoulder when grief enters. Pretend friends fall into many categories, but ultimately, they steal or expense from your account. There are the ones who write bad checks on your time, use your ATM or credit card without permission, or simply rob you blind. In any case, there is only so much time, and it we fill our lives with positive, beneficial helpful people, and help those who really need help, and, in turn, are there for us, then it befits us better. I agree that everyone has a bad hair day, and you "shouldn't throw the baby out with the wash water", but if this is a pattern of behaviour, then do not expect the pattern to change. It is ultimately your stileto boots, (thinking of a bug, smiling as he looks upward at the heel just before... and, then scampering away), and you cannot do it all... and it sounds like you have unreasonable expectations being placed on you... Remember they are making the choice to try to make you feel that you failed their expectations. Unjustified, this would not seem to be the behaviour of someone who has your best interests at heart... I think they call someone like that a "friend."

Don't let others expectations, or their own failures be transfered unjustly to your bank account... they simply rob you of precious time from your bank account...


__Huntress__ 55M/58F

10/28/2005 1:39 pm

Bun ...

One of the best things about my life right now is that I have weeded out those so-called "friends" that just don't know what it's all about to be a true "friend". Those that are in my life accept that there are times I have nothing to give, times I have too much to give, times when I retreat, times when I want them around me, times when it's good just to hear a friendly voice, times when I shut-down ... friends should enhance one another, not deplete the other ... the only expectations my friends should have of me is that I'm going to do what I want to do, when and how I want to do it. If that's a problem for them ... they can kiss my butt goodbye. I don't suffer fools, nor drama ... take it somwhere else ! However, these same friends that know all this about me also know that I'm the first one there to hold you when you're hurting, to lay your head in my lap during those nights when sleep won't come, to help you chase the demons away when they begin to scream a bit louder than they should, to listen to your heart break when no one else will ... to celebrate with you when one of your dreams come true ... in short, friends shouldn't add stress to your life they should help ease it ...

And always know, Bunzybaby ... you have a friend in me ...

{=}


__Huntress__ 55M/58F

10/28/2005 1:45 pm

Bun ...

One of the best things about my life right now is that I have weeded out those so-called "friends" that proved themselves not to be friends at all. Those that are in my life accept that there are times I have nothing to give, times I have too much to give, times when I retreat, times when I want them around me, times when it's good just to hear a friendly voice, times when I shut-down and want to be alone ... friends should enhance one another, not deplete the other ... the only expectations my friends should have of me is that I'm going to do what I want to do, when and how I want to do it. If that's a problem for them ... they can kiss my butt goodbye. I don't suffer fools, nor drama ... take it somwhere else ! However, these same friends that know all this about me also know that I'm the first one there to hold you when you're hurting, to lay your head in my lap during those nights when sleep won't come, to help you chase the demons away when they begin to scream a bit louder than they should, to listen to your heart break when no one else will ... to celebrate with you when one of your dreams come true ... in short, friends shouldn't add stress to your life they should help ease it ...

And always know, Bunzybaby ... you have a friend in me ...

{=}


rm_luke69iner 48M
3275 posts
10/28/2005 4:27 pm

Hope it all works out well for you Bunny

Best wishes

Always,
Luke

"Friendship is always a sweet responsibility, never an opportunity."
~Kahlil Gibran~


S'io credesse che mia risposta fosse
A persona che mai tornasse al mondo,
Questa fiamma staria senza piu scosse.
Ma perciocche giammai di questo fondo
Non torno vivo alcun, s'i'odo il vero,
Senza tema d'infamia ti rispondo
.
~Dante~


rm_pchamp012004 55M
2672 posts
10/28/2005 5:36 pm

friends ... everyone has a different definition ... there's a reason for that.

Long distance hugz to you


kokpelli_999 61M

10/28/2005 7:13 pm

Sounds as if in additon to the 6in stiletto boots Bunz is about to bring out the big guns.(As Kok runs for the nearest culvert he hears the scream "Incomming!")
If need be call up old friends at the Extended Background Investigations Bureau and they'll get some real dirt on the whiners Bunzy. Bed wetting, thumbsucking, you know what I'm talking about!
If it's attention they want, then it's a tension they'll get.
God I love the smell of fresh blog at night.(the William Tell Overture Finale plays in the background)


five_speed 41M

10/28/2005 8:00 pm

I've seen what 6 inch heels can do to gentitalia.... not pretty at all... I am glad I am on your good side, luv.

I oughta write you a tough love post like the one you wrote me a few days ago, but I just don't have it in me tonight.

All I can say is don't let people use you ungratefully.


barbiebunny 36F
5597 posts
10/28/2005 10:58 pm

Ty all for your thoughts.
I kinda threw a curve ball out with this from my normal posts..as i felt it necessary to put it up on the "big board" hoping it would end the issues that were going on.

Im a fair person. Ill let friends mess up, act all wierd and give second chances or least hear em out why their heads weren't screwed on right..heck we all get that way, and in personal dealings I give someone a lot of leeway unless they cross a boundry with me and this was my line in the sand saying, hey Im not kiddin this doesnt change Im givin ya the boot. Hopefully it gets resolved and when a similar situation comes up, they act differently. I give people the room to change if they want to...but a second time.. Im not played for a fool.

But a lot of what u said is my personal thoughts on a friend..but I am merciful to let them mess up anmd make amends..unless its a pattern which I may fear this is. But choice and time will tell.

Thank u all again.
Bunz

Its good to be...ME


tillerbabe 56F

10/29/2005 1:19 am

Sweet Taurus woman!You are nuturing and kind, sexual and giving...."give" only when it is deserved. Those that suck the life from your soul are not the sensuous vampires..but the lost that cannot fulfill their own desires....no matter how much is "given" to them. Stand strong beautiful one....deny the "takers" and accept those that love you unconditionally. Those that do not learn from your wisdom are doomed from their own choices. Walk away. Do not look back. you have "given' enough! I adore you..beautiful one! {=}


DefiniteTrouble 50F

10/29/2005 6:44 am

I give, give, give. It's my nature. However, there are times when I do NEED to receive. That's when I sort out my true friends from the ones who only want, want, want. It's nice to let go of their burden, and nice to have those true friends comfort me. My advice? Toss those who only want, te ones who don't lend and ear or a shoulder...toss them now. Why prolong something you'll do eventually down the road? It'll lighten your load now...and that's what matters most.

Hugs, kisses, and much love - your Demon Spawn Twin


Lookalike 52M
25 posts
10/29/2005 9:53 am

Tillerbabe beat me to the horiscope angle, but have you been reading it lately? Right now we Taureans) are exceedingly popular especially due to our steadfastness.

I also feel a strong need for "ME" time... time that I really don't even want to hear the phone ring. Some friends (especially Scorpios, hmm, just realized that) have a strong need to invade that alone time. I'm guessing that they are just needing some reassurance that they haven't pissed me off in some way. I'm finally getting across to them that they hadn't angered me, but that they are beginning to do so by being so clingy. It seems to be leveling off a bit, thankfully.

I hope your friend realizes that they are attempting to invade and monopole your YOU time and that they will give you a little space.

... dammit, there's the phone again! Take care sweety!


toothysmile 50M
16515 posts
10/29/2005 12:14 pm

To lose a friend is a small tragedy.
But in order to lose a friend, you must first have a friend. And a friend never asks another friend more than they can offer at any given time.



PS: ... a friend in Greece?


rm_4nik8_4u 61M
2501 posts
10/31/2005 4:47 am

Life should be fun and the only drama in your life should come from a play.

So, back to the fun stuff!

So far I have you with 6" stilleto boots and a broken strap-on...did I mention that I can fix just about anything?

Ahhh, the things dreams are made of!


Sinderlicious 51F
310 posts
11/1/2005 7:49 am

*hugging ya tight*

*rolling up my sleeves and donning 7 inch stilletos*

You go sit down and point me in the right direction.

Sin like you mean it!


barbiebunny 36F
5597 posts
11/3/2005 5:57 pm

Whoo Super sinner! Ty babygirl!
*gets popcorn.. sends her strap on to Nik for fixing*

THAT is friendship!

Thansk again all of you..my blog friends

Its good to be...ME


barbiebunny 36F
5597 posts
11/3/2005 5:58 pm

Whoo Super sinner! Ty babygirl!
*gets popcorn.. sends her strap on to Nik for fixing*

THAT is friendship!

Thanks again all of you..my blog friends

Its good to be...ME


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