the dirt  

badshyfella 36M
2 posts
12/25/2005 9:40 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

the dirt


I've come to the conclusion that I have far more questions for life than I do answers. I spent Christmas with some family, and now I'm back home in my one-bedroom apartment.

The past week or so, I've been letting my beard grow out. Now if you look at my pictures, or me with a shaven face, I look very young. Some people guess that I'm like 16 or such. With facial hair, I suddenly look about my age or even older. The only thing of it is is that I'm not used to it and it's itchy. It also grows in rather patchy, so I'm not sure just how it looks.

I'm really tired of so many things. I guess I'm just using this post to vent, as it has very little organization... oh well.

I'm mixed-up about what I want relationally. Apart of me wants a relationship; but then apart of me doesn't want that. I'm afraid of letting myself fall for someone again. On the other hand, I'm tired of always being alone. I'm also tired of everything that I try to do for people being misinterpreted as being something different than my intent (that's a long drawn-out story in-of itself).

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