Becoming a better person  

badboyofurdreams 40M
1 posts
4/7/2005 9:45 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Becoming a better person

For the last couple of weeks, I've been doing some soul searching and evaluating of my life. There were actually a couple of things that happened here to fuel some of that thinking.
I think the title of this entry really captures what I'm searching for. I happen to think that the meaning of life is living up to your potential as a human being, wherever that potential falls on the spectrum.

I think what keeps us from that potential is fear and knocks us off the path is fear. I think we often don't know that we're letting the fear win. You don't know that it takes over. In fact, I think every personality quirk has a basis in fear. I could be wrong. It's just a theory.

I know I didn't realize it until recently that I was letting the fear win over and over. For instance, I've always been somewhat shy, even as a little kid. That is a kind of fear. I will say I've succumb to it on many occasions, but I guess I got sick and tired of how I was feeling. I was definitely in constant conflict with myself.

I think what keeps you from your potential is fear. There's some science behind why you feel the same emotions. I wrote this before in someone else's blog. Your brain actually creates proteins in the hypothalamus to control certain things. On each of your cells, there are receptors for a different kind of protein, called peptides. Now what happens is for every action or every situation, your brain produces a certain kind of peptide. The more you perform that action or feel that emotion, the more your cells receive that protein. Now what happens is the other receptors stop responding because they aren't being used. And your cells divided carrying just the receptors you've been using. So your cells crave that protein and to get that, you must perform that action or feel a certain way. Also there are patterns with your neural net and how your neurons fire in patterns and how they weave together, but I've already displayed too much nerdiness for one morning.

You can rewrite the code, but it takes honesty, I think. It was an honesty I don't think I had with myself until recently. That, or a clear perspective. But I see it now a little more clearly.

Does that mean I'll be perfect? Hardly. But I think I'm on the path toward being something just a little better.

Everyone take care and play safe ...

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