"My Bum Hurts"  

aussie_bloke_1 48M
10 posts
11/23/2005 10:13 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

"My Bum Hurts"

It used to be "not tonight, darling...I've got a headache..." Then a friggin legend named "John", (real name withheld to protect my stupidity), invented Aspirin and women have been scrambling for the pyjama sales at JC Penney ever since!
But a new threat to women has emerged from the evil mind of the One-Eyed Trouser Snake... an apparent inability to sense the difference between the "right hole" and the "WRONG HOLE!!!"(a comment usually stated with an elevated pitch and a desperate sense of urgency)
Guys, it seems, have taken it on themselves to stick it where the sun don't shine cause they "saw it in a movie and the girl was loving it".
Like any reputable athlete, pornstars practice, stretch, workout and do amazing things with unusual objects so they can smile at the camera while an over-enthusiastic jock shoves 15 inches of man-meat in some rather tight looking orifaces with apparently no lubrication at all.>>!
When a woman says "my bum hurts", what she's really saying is "MY FUCKIN' ASSHOLE IS FUCKIN' KILLING ME, YOU SELFISH, INCONSIDERATE PRICK".
Ladies, it's time to share any secrets you may have on what works best for you. Suggestions, remedies, brag stories.... this topic is open for discussion. (!)

happy2surveUslav 39M

11/23/2005 10:57 am

well if people take time and patents it may be enjoyable if the person i am with likes it i will work with them to the confort zone

if it is just shoved porn style then that is just wrong unless it is the rare circamstance that is what they want but that would be clearly stated and about other stuff

lube lube and more lube is a great place to start
try a finger first then two if any disconfort areses or your partner cannot relax call it a day and have regular sex and try again tomoro

the possible damages are not worth it so take it easy and carfull

blue_1959 57M
71 posts
12/13/2005 12:46 am

I've found that dangling large diamonds in front of them just before entry has rather positive effects.

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