Love and Life  

arianaxoxo24 36F
87 posts
8/14/2005 5:17 pm

Last Read:
2/7/2007 11:49 pm

Love and Life

So, maybe I should start at the beginning. I met this guy through AdultFriendFinder and with no intentions of looking for anything serious, that's exactly what we ended up with. We had such incredible chemistry and I felt he really could be the one, as did he. Living on opposite ends of the state from one another we agreed to meet. He flew over here and we had an instant connection. I know it sounds unbelievable, but it was as if it was meant to be. Maybe a few weeks after his trip to see me, I flew over to spend a weekend with him. Everything was amazing and so I realized that this was serious. There was but one problem, in that I withheld the fact that I have children from him until that second visit over to see him. Now in my defense, I didn't know things would get so serious and I was not about to divuldge such important facts until I knew this person was a safe and honest person. I also needed to see where he lived, etc. in order to see that what he was telling me was true. And I never did lie to him. He never asked. It may seem deceitful, but in all honesty it was in no way my intention.
Now this is the past and the current situation with us is one filled with confusion and some hurt. We still talk all the time and if it not for the kids, we would most definetly be a couple. We may as well be now. The problem lies in that at only 25 he feels it is too much responsibility for him to take on. I understand this and so I allow our relationship to be that of"friends" when in all reality we may as well be a couple. The truth is he is really perfect for me and I feel I am for him and if I knew we could be together at some point I would probably wait forever.

providence13a 33M
1 post
8/15/2005 2:40 am

I Feel sorry for you both, you seem to have made the connection that everyone here seems to be looking for but can't seem to take the next step. I was once in the same position and i have to say that i chickened out. I couldn't handle the thought of responsibility. god us men do suck so much.

Maximumrich 58M

8/15/2005 3:58 am

Give him time darling... If you are as special as you sound ( yes, and look ) then he'll slowly get used to the idea and, almost certainly embrace it. But it will take time. And in that time the friendship that you have will grow and grow, and that is the basis for a very strong relationship. Be his friend and let him be yours...

It'll work out

Would you... ?
So would I... We should talk!

scarzack 55M
1080 posts
8/21/2005 9:22 pm

I remember being a kid. I needed my dad but the military needed him also. So my point is that it is difficult to be a father, and I think he did the right thing rather than uproot your family to try something he was not ready for. When I became a father, I wanted it and I was ready. But, it was my choice. There are men that welcome the opportunity to be a positive male influence, and I'll bet you can find one. Hang in there. I love your photo.

rm_Balanon2 48M
193 posts
8/28/2005 6:49 pm

25 is about the earliest a guy can probably really know that he is ready for that responsiblity. 30 is more realistic. Not saying that younger guys (and gals) can't be ready, but until you've matured and put some experience under your belt I don't think you can really KNOW.

At his/your age, I got involved with a slightly older woman (27) who had a daughter. I thought I was ready and the idea of doing 'family' things appealed to me. But, I quickly found there were things I wanted to experience yet in life that were incompatible. Maybe he just needs time to weigh these things out.

Best of luck to you, babe. Like others have said: give it time and love the photo And if things don't work out, there's another guy here that might give the cross state dating a shot

Stars12Dong 46M
161 posts
8/30/2005 7:20 am

It is too much for a single guy 25 to be an instant father figure and lover . Drama tend to follow having a baby's mom or dad on the side . You have to be ready and you should want him to be ready for you and your kids sake . I'm sure you'll find the 1 . I have to add nice ass pic .


emmitt228 47M
2 posts
4/26/2006 11:10 pm

When someone is that young it is hard to imagine having kids. I know when I was 25 I didn't want that kind of responsibility, but know that Im older and I have a kid of my own I would have it any other way. Generally I would not date a woman that doesn't have kids, but I have to really know that person and care about that person before I would meet her kids or meet my kid. Anyway it sounds like he may find out in the long run he missed a great opportunity to find true love... I hope you don't waste to much time looking for the next one.

arianaxoxo24 36F

2/7/2007 11:49 pm

Well, after reading this post after some time I'm glad to say that it made me laugh. While we remain great friends I am totally over him and never happier. Just wanted to give all my friends who didn't know the update. Thanks 4 all your posts though..... XOXO

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