not sure this is for me  

aquamarine554 52F
77 posts
8/7/2006 4:18 pm

Last Read:
8/12/2006 5:20 pm

not sure this is for me

I can't be anyone but myself, and am finding myself lacking.

is possible that I may need to not meet anyone for a while...
i am finding myself oversensitive and easily hurt..

i don't mind a one night thing every once in while, just gets old if it is consistent.

May have something to do with being lied to and led on recently.
My self confidence is zero. ?* I can't believe i fell for the old i love you thing. What a flipping dummy. I am old enough to not be so gullible..

there are alot of things that add up to this feeling, moving, my ex already getting remarried, thought i was over him but that shit still hurts, my oldest daughter moving out she isnt even 16 yet, don't know how to deal with that. I just wanted to have some fun. What the hell is wrong with me. I know the answer, just don't much like the answer.

tastycouple55 69M/69F

8/7/2006 4:38 pm

Sounds like you have been going through alot lately. Any feeling of rejection can really hurt especially when over tired from moving. Makes small things look bigger.

It may not be you that is the problem. I have had a lot of one nighters and they were genually interested. I think they felt they would get too emotionally attached to something that turned out to be to good to be true to them. Don't take it personal. Sometimes we show them what a real woman is and it scares them. WIMPS

Forunately for me when I got divorced from first husband he was such a jerk and actually married my best friend. She knew how bad he was and to our children and ended up losing her own children paying any attention to her for leaving their dad. Those two were made for each other.

Your daughter is at a age (they start younger now days) where they think they are all grown up and don't want to be under any rules. She will learn life is tough out there and come to her senses. Just be patient with her and keep showing her you love and that she is always welcome back.

Good luck to you.

letz_play2006 50M
1 post
8/7/2006 5:34 pm

Hi cuty. What are you looking for?

rm_Kingcat4U2 64M
2799 posts
8/7/2006 5:56 pm

Sounds like you have a full plate there. You're beaten down, feeling overwhelmed. But you can't lay down and quit. And you can't beat up on yourself, either. It's against the rules. So the lover boy was a jerk and you feel used. Well, better to find out now, than later. We've all had somebody use us at some point. And the person you had your child with, well, you're always going to have a connection to that person. That's the one that usually hurts the most, you feel like you lost your family. And the teenage years suck. OMG, the ideas they get! You just got to hang in there.
I know you don't feel too self confident lately. But you didn't make it this far without doing a few things right. I just think you've forgotten them. I know you're a Chicago girl. So I know you've got a lot of character to draw on, seems to be something you get in the water there. And once you got it, it doesn't ever leave. You're going to come back better than ever. You got people out here in blogland rooting for you. Wishing you all the best.

rm_Casually_48 68M

8/8/2006 12:21 am

Hmmm..."What the hell is wrong with me"?

Whew...From looking through your blogs? Not a whole helluva lot! You are (obviously) stunning, intelligent, sensitive, caring and loving.

About the only thing "wrong" is that...For the time being you are alone and don't have anyone to love or be loved by. Mmmm...And as gorgeous as you are "This, too, shall pass"!

When you are feeling alone, all "bad" things in life seem amplified, but that's only because they "seem" that way. There really aren't more of them and they really aren't any worse.

Just hang in there, Sweetie. Your daughter will be a "pain-in-the-butt" because she's a teenager and...LOL...That's what teenagers do! And as for guys? You really didn't buy in to that old thing about "kissing frogs", did you? LOL...I haven't heard of one really turning into a "prince" yet!

Just try to see yourself through our eyes and see ALL that is beautiful and wonderful about you and in you. *sigh*...You are lovelier than you'll ever know.

CordsPixieGelid 55M

8/10/2006 6:40 pm

Aquamarine, enough of the self-flagilation. You have much to offer. Your sensitivity is the problem, enhanced by the fact that you give a damn about others, probably more than they care about you.

As for the teenagers. They are in their own egocentric world. Yes it's a terrible phase they go through. In five or six years they'll come back. Funny the more you try to hold on the more they rebel. Give them space, love and understanding. You'll be the first one they come back to.

As for being out of commission, life is not a spectator sport. Get out there, albeit cautiously, but get out there none the less. You'll eventually hit your stride.


PS keep the blogs coming

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