Letter from Redneck Mom to Redneck Son  

angelofmercy5 59F
12148 posts
2/5/2006 8:02 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Letter from Redneck Mom to Redneck Son

Dear Redneck Son;

I'm writing this letter slow because I know you can't read fast.
We don't live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen within 20 miles from your home, so we moved. I won't be able to send you the address because the last Arkansas family that lived here took the house numbers when they moved so that they wouldn't have to change their address. This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine. I'm not sure it works so well though: last week I put a load in and pulled the chain and haven't seen them since.

The weather isn't bad here. It only rained twice last week; the first time for three days and the second time for four days. About that coat you wanted me to send you, your Uncle Stanley

said it would be too heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets. John locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were really worried because it took him two hours to get me and your father out. Your sister had a baby this morning; but I haven't found out what it is yet so I don't know if your an aunt or an uncle. The baby looks just like your brother.... Uncle Ted fell in a whiskey vat last week. Some men tried to pull him out, but he fought them off playfully and drowned. We had him cremated and he burned for three days. Three of your friends went off a bridge in a pick-up truck.

Ralph was driving. He rolled down the window and swam to safety. Your other two friends were in back. They drowned because they couldn't get the tailgate down. There isn't much more news at this time. Nothing much has happened. Love, Mom

P.S. I was going to send you some money but
the envelope was already sealed.

CamCumWithMe 59M

2/5/2006 10:59 am

You're killin' me! Where have you been hiding all my life?!?

HighPocKets1938 78M

2/5/2006 12:47 pm

No wonder my letter didn't get there.
Too bad bout the boys in the back and Uncle Ted too.
Oh, btw, did you hear bout Jethro finally getting around to naming his new niece. Yep, and after some real hard cogitatin, he come up with the name DENICE. Course some idget hadda axe him what he woulda named her iffen she had been borned a boy, and he had a ready answer for em.

angelofmercy5 59F
17881 posts
2/5/2006 1:35 pm

Fly...glad you AND your son got a good laugh out of this one! That was my intent. Love ya girl!

angelofmercy5 59F
17881 posts
2/5/2006 1:36 pm

Cancumwithme......Well, I started out in Ohio, have lived overseas three times, and now I'm hiding out in Virginia Beach.

PS....I like presents.....can I remove the bow?

angelofmercy5 59F
17881 posts
2/5/2006 1:38 pm

Highpockets.....I know I can count on you to come up with a great reply. "Denice" cracked me up. You have a great day!

fantasylover_05 62M

2/5/2006 2:04 pm

Thanks for the laugh Angel!!! I needed that!!!

CantonOhCouple 60M/60F
553 posts
2/5/2006 4:15 pm

Oh lord, Jeff Foxworthy would be proud. ROFLMAO

Hugs from CantonOHCouple

angelofmercy5 59F
17881 posts
2/5/2006 4:44 pm

Tayninh2...glad I could make you laugh.

Polly....I'm so glad you are back prowling the blogs!

oldman1776 78M
3164 posts
2/5/2006 10:52 pm

Sweatheart. That was to damn funny. LMAO.

angelofmercy5 59F
17881 posts
2/6/2006 6:24 am

Cantonohcouple.....see, even a gal from Ohio can get into the Redneck scene! lol

angelofmercy5 59F
17881 posts
2/6/2006 6:27 am

Oldman.......thank you for visiting my blog! Please come back anytime!

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