Kissing Frogs  

angelofmercy5 58F
12148 posts
2/25/2006 9:33 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Kissing Frogs

I have an anniversay coming up....and it is a milestone one. I've been thinking a lot lately about why we stay together....and how we continue to love each other, and yet hurt each other at times too. This quote kind of says it all.

"We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly." -- Anonymous

Have I achieved this yet? NOPE! Am I going to give up trying to achieve this? NOPE!

VATraveler1948 68M

2/26/2006 4:53 am

Angel...I too am approaching a milestone anniversary and recent things in my life have caused me to examine my thoughts and feelings about love more critically than ever before. The quote in your blog, which incidently is by Sam Keen, from his book To Love and Be Loved, says it all.

When I first married my wife I thought she was the perfect woman but as the years have gone by that image of perfection faded, replaced instead by an image of a woman whom I love and cherish more than life itself. I can truthfully say that as I've encountered the imperfections my love for her has grown stronger. At this milestone event, which for me is 35 years, I honestly can not imagine life without my wife. I love her for what she is today, not what she was when she was a new bride of 19.

I know quite well that my wife has seen her once perfect husband stumble and fall so many times. In the past 8 months alone I have gone from a man who just could not bear to lie to my wife to one who has trouble telling the difference between the truth and a lie. I've watched the gleam in her eyes turn from one of joy to one of sorrow. Even so, she has always been there to pick me up when I've stumbled. The change of the look in her eyes has been the deepest hurt to me but the warmth of her embrace has always been there when she picks me up. I only hope that I can rekindle the gleam of joy because the look of sorrow hurts me so deeply. I hope that my wife reads this comment and understands that I love her more deeply today than I did that day 35 years ago.

Angel, you are a very perceptive woman. I hope that your milestone anniversary is everything you are wishing for.

angelofmercy5 58F
17881 posts
2/26/2006 6:00 am

Vatraveler....I don't know what to say. Lying and deception is what constitutes cheating. And ironically the person you "cheat" the most is yourself. People change, and they are truly entitled to change.....and most marriages can handle the changes if the partners are in tune and communicative with one another. However, society dictates to us so many times that the changes we feel are not "right" or "good" we hide them, becoming a different person inside. One lie breeds another and another.....until it seems that our entire life is a lie. And so we "cheat" ourself from happiness, we distance ourself from those people we love the most because we are afraid that they cannot accept the person we have become. And in truth, they are probably hurting as much as you are. So, if you are to see the gleam come back into your wife's must first show her the gleam in yours. Trust is not easily regained.....but its worth trying.

angelofmercy5 58F
17881 posts
2/26/2006 6:01 am

Dysgysed.....and believing says it all! You have to believe to achieve!

2xmrclean 58M

2/26/2006 10:46 am

very wise words you share.both in your post and with traveler. and the truth is, if there is still hope one must try..If there is some try left in you. 2x

VATraveler1948 68M

2/26/2006 11:02 am

Angel... where have you been all my life? I guess the bigger question is "where have I been?". Thanks for the words of wisdom!

angelofmercy5 58F
17881 posts
2/26/2006 11:46 am

Thank you 2xmrclean....this is must try.

fantasylover_05 62M

2/26/2006 4:59 pm


I wish you the very best anniversary possible!!

I do truly believe you will achieve that which you seek....

caressmewell 53F

2/26/2006 9:25 pm

Happy Anniversary!

angelofmercy5 58F
17881 posts
2/26/2006 9:39 pm

Mzhuny....thank you very much!

angelofmercy5 58F
17881 posts
2/26/2006 9:41 pm

Fantasylover....thanks and the same for you also. Love ya!

SirMounts 102M

2/26/2006 9:50 pm

Hmmm. I always thought it was, "a woman hopes to change the Man she loves, while He wants more than anything for her to stay the same, and both are disappointed. lol. Seriously, happy anniversary, angelofmercy. *smiling*

HBowt2 58F

2/27/2006 12:42 am

Happy Anniversary angel....
Just long will you keep trying...27 years here and still trying.....

angelofmercy5 58F
17881 posts
2/27/2006 12:57 am

Caress.....thank you.

angelofmercy5 58F
17881 posts
2/27/2006 12:58 am are going to make me dependent on those ~smiles~. But thank you.

angelofmercy5 58F
17881 posts
2/27/2006 1:00 am

Hbowt2.....thank you! And, you can never stop trying, unless there is nothing left to hope for. Stop by here anytime.....look forward to getting to know you.

rm_goddess1946 105F
13518 posts
2/28/2006 9:09 pm

Your anniversary? GREAT reason for us to do lunch!
...................congratulations! {=}

Just a little food for thought.............
If you really want to be happy, nobody can stop you...

angelofmercy5 58F
17881 posts
3/1/2006 4:30 am

Goddess...sounds wonderful! Let me know! And thanks for the good wishes.

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