I Wasn't Always An Angel!  

angelofmercy5 58F
12148 posts
4/11/2006 8:01 pm

Last Read:
4/13/2006 8:45 am

I Wasn't Always An Angel!

Tonight, I was thinking about a "bad boy" I dated in high school. He really was THE "bad boy"! He didn't live in my town...but the next town over. But he was THE "bad boy" of several small towns nearby. And I was the quintessential good girl who fell in love with the "bad boy"! He came from a bad part of town....his mother had had seven different husbands, and dressed like a hussy! Now, remember....things were different back then...and divorce was a bad word!

You know the type. Tall, blond, blue eyes, fabulous in tight jeans and a leather jacket. And yikes!!! He smoked! He was everything that terrified my parents. They hated him....and I loved him. He was a great kisser....and if you read my blog at all....you'll know that I love to kiss! And yes...he tried everything that a "bad boy" should try. But he treated me with more respect than some of the "good" boys from church did. When I said no....he knew it meant no....and he never pushed again.

But oh the letters he wrote me. He had older brothers who were in college...and he got a lot of ideas from them. He would tell me that he wanted to lick me...oh heavens...down there. And that his brothers told him it tasted good...kind of like chicken. (don't they say that about snake meat too?) He told me that I gave him blue balls. I had no earthly clue what that meant. But my Dad did....and he got ahold of that letter. So....I was forbidden to see him.

But I saw him anyways. And it made it all seem even more romantic and dangerous somehow. We lived in the country...and we had a pony barn with a great loft and a trap door. It was the perfect place for slumber parties. We also had a dirt road along side our property that led back to an oil well that banged away all night. (not the kind that make you rich) So, I used to have sleep overs...and the guys would turn their car lights out and drive along that dirt road and hike over the fields to the barn. And once they were upstairs...we would block that trap door so it couldn't be opened and all made out. Several times...we got noisy and my Dad would come out and bang on that door....and the guys would just about crap their pants. They would wait awhile then until they were sure my dad was gone and sneak back to their car.

Thinking about it all now....there was a lot that could have happened there....but it didn't. One of my friends lost her virginity there one night. And we all were scared to death until her period came the next month.

My "bad boy" was older than me and would graduate from high school two years before me. He often said that he was going to marry me when he graduated....he even had a date set! And he would talk about the sexual things we would do once we were married. It both thrilled and excited me......and embarrassed me.

My "bad boy" sent me an email tonight. I haven't heard from him in years. I knew he was married and had two boys.....and drove his own big rig. He knew that I was married and had two girls. He even knows who my husband is and asked how the "little runt" was. (sorry hun!) But in the email he talked about me being his first real love. And how proud he was that the "good girl" loved him. And even though he is happily married, he said he often thinks about how life would have been if we had married. And he even said that he still wishes to this day that we had had sex together. And he says that every year of his adult life....on the day that he had set as "our" wedding day...he goes camping to a special place by himself and just thinks about me while he looks up at the stars. Now, there's a "bad boy" who still knows how to write a letter.

So...do you have a past love that you think about even now?

2943 posts
4/11/2006 8:56 pm

Awe that's a really sweet story angel...even the bad boy is sensitive.
So...do you have a past love that you think about even now? Yes...I do, actually a couple of them,lol
Mostly I think about my ex though...he was such a good guy and I made a bad choice and let him go. But I cannot have regrets because I would not have had my beautiful girls if I hadn't. Just bothers me sometimes and I wonder if he thinks about me. He was also my first love but we were together for 19 years total soooo it's hard not to remember.xoxo


angelofmercy5 replies on 4/11/2006 9:23 pm:
Sweetsinn...I think I'd be thinking about him too. You can be thankful for your girls...but still wonder "what if"?

micahbiguns 50M

4/11/2006 9:35 pm

Well i guess I was the Bad Boy wrongv side of the tracks etc I recentally reunited with my past love

angelofmercy5 replies on 4/12/2006 4:48 am:
Micah...I'd love to hear that story! Maybe you should blog about it.

mycin62 54F

4/11/2006 9:50 pm

Yeah,I do

angelofmercy5 replies on 4/12/2006 4:50 am:
Mycin....I guess we all do in one way or another. Do you have any contact with this person at all?

HighPocKets1938 77M

4/11/2006 10:55 pm

Shhhhhh, hon, your telling our secrets.....OOOOOOPPPPPs, wrong answer I only had three true loves in my. The first one is in my blog and I am still in love with my last.
My middle true love was in ome of those that just happened so fast, lasted for a fairly long time (over 4 years but not together) I keep her in another part of my deepest heart of hearts and bring her out ever so often. I do wonder just how that would have turned out if she had been totally free. It IS a special memory.

angelofmercy5 replies on 4/12/2006 4:51 am:
Highpockets....I guess that IS what we do...keep them in another part of our heart and bring them out once in awhile to think about. They are good memories.

qship52 63M

4/12/2006 1:45 am

Yes, I still think of my first love. Not sure I ever got over her 100%.

angelofmercy5 replies on 4/12/2006 4:53 am:
Gship....I know just what you mean.

LabioBent 104M
2082 posts
4/12/2006 3:24 am

Great story!
You were "Born to be........."!

Yes, there is a very special "past love".

We lost her 3 months ago! May she rest in peace.

So, my dear, live for today!


angelofmercy5 replies on 4/12/2006 4:54 am:
Labio....I'm SO sorry! And I know we need to live for today. I kind of feel "in limbo" right now. And I know I need to shake myself out of that! Every day is precious.

VATraveler1948 68M

4/12/2006 3:52 am

WOW, nice story! This fellow sounds like a nice guy. Tell us truthfully, do you have any regrets for the path you have taken?

I had many past likes but no real past loves. I don't think that I had any kind of a relationship with any girl (except for my wife) that lasted longer than a couple of months and I don't think that most of the memories lasted too much longer.

When I think back I do recall one of my past likes that was a bad girl. The last I heard of her she was in prison out on the west coast Now there is a path that I am grateful that I didn't take...

angelofmercy5 replies on 4/12/2006 4:56 am:
VAT....no, I absolutely don't have any regrets for the path that I have taken. I do think about this past love sometimes....but I can't imagine not having had the love and life that I have now. Now...I'd like to hear more about your "bad girl".

horny4770 60M
8158 posts
4/12/2006 4:07 am

Your story or mine? LOL

Hardly a day goes by I don't think of her . . .~SAD SIGH~


angelofmercy5 replies on 4/12/2006 4:58 am:
Horny...I know! I guess we all have similar stories, don't we? I think it is sweet that you think about this.....we just can't live in the past completely...or we're missing our future.

campfirecozy 66M

4/12/2006 4:51 am

There really is something about those first times and I, too, have written about those. In reality, the two women I loved the most in college were less than receptive to me contacting them years later...jealous husbands might have been an influence. It's OK though, those first loves are still a part of who I am.

...and I remember well, some of the good girls from church! There must have been subliminal kissing lessons taught there, that went unnoticed by the elders *grin*


angelofmercy5 replies on 4/12/2006 4:59 am:
Cozy....and how I love your stories you've written about. Did you go to my church? Maybe I've kissed you too! LOL ~hugs~

fantasylover_05 62M

4/12/2006 4:53 am


Great story!!

My first love is my wife... and I was completely faithful to her for 28+ years of marriage.... so no I guess I do not have what you ask... as in the distant past... I do have the love I recently said good bye to as you know very well... and as you also know.. not a day goes by that I don't think of her!!!

angelofmercy5 58F
17881 posts
4/12/2006 5:11 am

Fantasylover....when I got this email, I immediately thought of you! I know that you think of her everyday...and struggle with the "what if's". I wish that there was a pat answer I could give you......but you know that I'm here if you need me. ~hugs~

seek_u_topia 50M

4/12/2006 6:05 am

That is such a sweet and wonderful and real story. I'm melting.

I have lots of stories...but none that should be even on the same post as your precious one.

You're a lucky woman to have such a sweet memory and having inspired such affection and love.

angelofmercy5 replies on 4/12/2006 6:11 am:
Seek...what a really sweet thing to say! I'd love to hear your stories!


4/12/2006 7:32 am

ummm yes I do..He was killed in a car wreck.. but I think of him every day.. He is an angel I have gained... and another reason for the stars..
He was a bad boy with a good heart..

under the stars
We choose to write
you choose what you comprehend.
read twice and be nice
every key stroke... has a heart beat

angelofmercy5 replies on 4/12/2006 8:30 am:
Awww...Mrsmuff...I think a lot of the bad boys have good hearts. And I'll think of him when I meet ya under the starts tonight!

campfirecozy 66M

4/12/2006 8:36 am

Oh angel,
I my dreams, I am sure that I have felt your kiss...(whew, Cozy, snap out of it!!)

Reminds me of what one of my minister friends describes as the ultimate hypocrisy: A teenage boy friend and girl friend seated on the back pew of the church, singing "All that Thrills My Soul is Jesus" *grin*


angelofmercy5 replies on 4/12/2006 9:13 am:
Cozy....you are so sweet! How that made me laugh! I think my husband and I were those two....and we both love to sing...so we were probably singing at the top of our lungs! lol

pragmaticCTcpl 61M/50F

4/12/2006 8:44 am

My husband does and so do I. We share all of our thoughts with each other. Neither of us feel threatened by our past lovers. It is because of them and life that we were able to find one other. Thanks for sharing your lovely story.

angelofmercy5 replies on 4/12/2006 9:14 am:
Pragmatic....I think your comment is just lovely. You are exactly right....our past loves are partially responsible for preparing us for the love we have now! Thank you for reminding us of that.

Sulabula 45F
12658 posts
4/12/2006 9:30 am

I think of him sometimes...and wonder where he is and what he is doing...but I don't dwell on it a lot

Sula xxx

come visit my blog

angelofmercy5 replies on 4/12/2006 1:04 pm:
Sula....I'm the same way. Once in awhile a song will jog a memory of him....like "Wild Thing". But I never dwell on it. Nice memories though.

rm_Keystone3812 65M
583 posts
4/12/2006 10:18 am

Wow. I was cleaning out a desk Saturday, and came across a letter that my "first" had written to me after our 10 year high school reunion..... REALLY brought back memories. Yes, Angel......... I still think of her, you NEVER forget your first. What we had was so very special, and what caused us to go our separate ways was so trite. Yes, I still think of her. I'll have to write a story about that....... I would enjoy the memories it would bring back. Thanks for making me remember.

angelofmercy5 replies on 4/12/2006 1:06 pm:
Key....I think it would be great if you blogged about her and told the story! I would love to hear it.

mondauthor 29M
62 posts
4/12/2006 12:34 pm

Great story. Yes, I will never forget Susan. She was 6'0" tall. Never dated a taller woman. She had legs that went on forever!

Thanks for the Birthday Wishes. Hugs.

angelofmercy5 replies on 4/12/2006 1:08 pm:
Wow Mond! I guess her legs would go on forever! Kind of nice to dredge up these memories, isn't it? And Happy Birthday once again! And many mores!


4/12/2006 2:00 pm

Awww girl that was a great post! You bet i do! Thanks for the memories and now let me daydream on some sweet ones

just a squirrel trying to get a nut

angelofmercy5 replies on 4/12/2006 7:37 pm:
Mofun...we should all say "thanks for the memories". lol

oldude1946 70M

4/12/2006 4:45 pm

Damn, at first I thought you were talking about me

angelofmercy5 replies on 4/12/2006 7:41 pm:
Could have been oldude.....did you grow up in Ohio? lol

libgemOH 56M/52F

4/12/2006 4:51 pm

I always fell for the bad boys too and sure enough, they're still bad!!! I haven't talked to any of them in years, but through the grapevine, I can say I'm really glad I didn't hook with them back then either from the sounds of their lives!!

I got the baddest boy of them all now, but boy, oh boy is he good!! -B

angelofmercy5 replies on 4/12/2006 7:42 pm:
Libgem...so you ended up with a real good bad boy! Thats the best way! The memories are nice though of old times.

firestarter665 42M/39F

4/12/2006 5:13 pm

I had lovers in the past, but no loves. I had one long term relationship when I was younger, but I was more trapped than feeling the love. Mr. Fire is the only person I have actually loved, and still do. I know that this seems corny, but it is the honest truth.

angelofmercy5 replies on 4/12/2006 7:43 pm:
Firestarter...I don't think it sounds corny at all! I think it is sweet and very special....don't ever lose sight of that love!

JackSplash1401 58M

4/12/2006 6:15 pm

I dated the bad girl -- once. I didn't know she had the shady lady reputation until after I made the date. I kept the date anyway. We went bowling, to the DQ for ice cream, and to the park to swing. When I took her home, I walked her to the door and simply held her hand. I know you are thinking that she thought it was the most "lame" date in the world, but no. She was deeply appreciative that I treated her like a lady. She was pleasantly surprised that not all men are Cretans and that even the shady lady can make a "come back." Chivalry is not totally dead!


angelofmercy5 replies on 4/12/2006 7:44 pm:
Jack...that was the sweetest comment. I bet that bad girl still remembers that date. And who knows? You could have turned her life around showing her what it felt like to be respected! I am going to put your blog on my list to watch! Thanks for stopping by.

puntachueca 105M

4/12/2006 9:55 pm

Did a couple of magazine articles, flashbacks, on a lady I knew in high school, and we sort of were in and out of a relationship her whole life...remembering her as she was full of life and in her prime...and now she is going, slowly, badly, very very hard...left her a teddy bear on Valentine's day...but she wasn't conscious....
all that is left is memories...little diamonds that can be brought back and remembered fondly.
ps.thanks foryour post.

angelofmercy5 replies on 4/12/2006 10:11 pm:
Puntachueca....that is so sad. But how wonderful that you care enough to remember her as she was....and still is on the inside.

_Safira 53F
11260 posts
4/13/2006 4:27 am

Yes I do. He's the one I threw away ... the one to whom I broke the one promise I have ever broken in my entire life. *sigh*

This is my blog - Comes With Warning Labels. There are many like it, but this one is mine.

RECOMMENDED READING: A F F ... The Only Site For Me?

angelofmercy5 replies on 4/13/2006 8:48 am:
Oh Safira! Let me ~sigh~ with you!

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