Angel and the Crabs!  

angelofmercy5 59F
12148 posts
7/12/2006 12:13 am

Last Read:
7/18/2006 4:02 am

Angel and the Crabs!

Having a seafood dinner with some friends the other night reminded me of a funny story.....and I thought I'd share it with you all.

Growing up in Ohio.....the "fanciest" seafood we had was fried flounder. I never really developed much of a taste for lobster, shrimp, clams or crab. But when I got husband loved seafood of all kinds. I tried to like it....but for the amount of money you paid for a lobster, I'd rather have a steak.....medium rare, thank you.

But one day, someone gave us a bushel basket of crabs. And the little suckers were alive! My husband bought a crab pot....some Old Bay seasoning.....and then went off to a rehearsal for an opera that he was singing in. He assured me that I'd have no trouble cooking these "living" things.....and that he'd pick them for the meat when he came home.

I'm an independent woman.....and there isn't much that can throw me! So, I thought I'd just cook these things in the name of all womanhood! So, I put my girls to bed.....started the water boiling in the crab pot.....and went out to the garage to get this bushel basket of living, crawling, really ugly crabs! Dragging it into the house was an adventure as some of them had crawled out....and some were trying to crawl out. I had these long tongs and kept putting them back in that darn basket. I actually felt sorry for them because I thought they must know what was in store for them.....and I'd try to escape too.

So, the pots getting hot.....and I grabbed some of the crabs and put them in a bowl.....go over to the stove and dump them in the crab pot. I turned around and reached for the Old Bay seasoning. When I turned back to the pot.....they were crawling out....all over my stove.

I flipped out.....started screaming.....all the while trying to get those damn things into that pot again. Sprinkling them with Old Bay....and grabbing them as they kept trying to climb out. Old Bay trails left by crabs all over the in tears......and my two little girls standing on the head boards of their beds praying at the top of their lungs....."Please Jesus, help my mommy!"

Needless to say, after cooking those crabs.....finally figuring out that I had to hold the lid down until they died.....I have never eaten crab.....never want to eat crab.....and probably never will eat crab. I cried and cried as they clawed at the lid of that pot until they died.

The little girls who prayed for their mommy? The love the stuff!

HighPocKets1938 78M

7/12/2006 12:44 am

Awwwwww, my poor baby, all that and you still don't like em. Can't really blame you there either though. Although I do love freshwater fish the best, especially a good channel cat or blue, I never developed a taste for crab either. Way too much work for for what you get out of it. Now you take the lowly mudbugs, or as you Northerner types say crayfish, or crawdads, I can down about 4 or 5 dozen of those lil rascals and be looking for more too.

angelofmercy5 replies on 7/12/2006 10:16 am:
HP.....I can't eat those crawdads either! Give me a good piece of flounder, or orange roughy...and thats about the extent of my seafood appetite!

Glimmer_Man06 47M
3308 posts
7/12/2006 1:11 am

LMFAO! Well, I guess you had a bad case of the crabs there didn't you?

Crabs aren't my thing either, but Lobster, mmmmmmmm.

That'll teach you though:

Don't mess with us crabs!

They say a woman ages like fine wine...

...mine ages like milk!

angelofmercy5 replies on 7/12/2006 10:17 am:
Glimmer....first of all, I don't picture you as a crab! lol But that line was funny......I sure did have a bad case of the crabs! Thanks for stopping by.

toothysmile 50M
16514 posts
7/12/2006 1:27 am

reminds me of the famous lobster scene from 'annie hall', boy, that is a horror story...
as a greek i have a taste for fresh fish on the grill [really... no seafood is like it!...], but i insist on my food being dead before i cook it! lol...
oh, and i prefer steak too, only i like mine quite rare please...

angelofmercy5 replies on 7/12/2006 10:19 am:
Toothy.....your comment is about right! And I actually prefer my steak pretty rare too.....but in a restarant....I usually say medium rare. kisses right back at you!

Panthiest 73M

7/12/2006 2:47 am

Angel - you had me laughing and then choking on my laughter with your description of the crabs clawing trying to get out. I feel the same way - but i love crap - but now I eat imitation crab. Tastes just as good and it's made out of white fish and soy I think. Great for making sushi too. I don't mind eating animals, it's all a part of Nature including ourselves, but boiling em....? At least with fish you can knock them in the head right off so it's quick.
I'm pleasantly surprised at the many good writers in the blogs - you are definately one of them.

angelofmercy5 replies on 7/12/2006 10:20 am:
Panthiest....thank you for that compliment! I think you are a great writer also! Glad to give you a chuckle on this Wednesday morning.

000TBoy 42M
194 posts
7/12/2006 3:12 am

LMAO! there isn't much I don't or wont eat, I actually prefer the taste of Crab to Lobster - really must get out to Maine at soft shell time! Two ways of cooking live seafood (lobsters etc. not shellfish)
is to either put tehm in the freezer - they go unconscious! or just poke their brains in with a knitting needle - straight between the eyes! it's quick at least! BTW, they don't scream in pain, it's air coming out the shell!!! Ciao! xxx 000TWayne!x

angelofmercy5 replies on 7/12/2006 10:23 am:
Wayne......dear lord! The noise they must make when you put a needle between the eyes would have killed me too! But I wish I had known about the freezer thing! Oh well, you live and you learn!

curious082385 31F
4925 posts
7/12/2006 3:27 am

Oh my god, that is horrible! I would have been crying too!
Poor Angel...

angelofmercy5 replies on 7/12/2006 10:24 am:
Curious.....thanks for the empathy! That was one great piece of writing in your blog today!

horny4770 60M
8158 posts
7/12/2006 3:34 am


That was a funny story! I do like lobster occasionally but like you, "I'd rather have a steak.....medium rare"...any day!

angelofmercy5 replies on 7/12/2006 10:25 am:, when are we going out for that steak? Not like you're busy right now or anything! lol

MaggiesWishes 60F

7/12/2006 3:50 am

Girl, I can so identify with the crab story, only as a little girl growing up on the FL coast, my uncle would take me "crabbin", I really think it was a "man excuse" to get away from the house, but I got to go too. The times I went, we just baited the hooks, my uncle would drink beer and I'd go seashell hunting or something. Then one day ... I caught a Blue Crab! A healthy one at that. I was so proud of me ... Uncle caught several too. Only mine was the prettiest of them all. We ride home, I'm in the back seat, keeping my crab in the bucket, only God knows were the others were? We get home, I'm so excited telling my Aunt all about how I caught "Blue Boy", yeah, already named him on the ride home ... and on and on I talk, she tells me to go shower. I'm skippin to the back room to get cleaned up. However long, I come back all cleaned up and enter the kitchen just in time to see MY CRAB trying to crawl out of the boiling pot of hot water and my AUNT with her hand on the lid trying to close it and I screamed bloody murder! "AS only a 10 yr old can"
She jumps, the lid goes flying out of her hand, I'm heading to the boiling pot, My crab, has successfully climed out of the pot and onto the stove and is about to jump when I got the plastic back and caught him. I'm running out the door with crab in hand ... crying and saying "don't die, I'm so sorry" and headed to the beach as fast as my feet will carry me to dump, the now ... spotted orange and blue crab back into the ocean.
Gotta love kids

warm huggies 2ya
Thanks for the fond memory

angelofmercy5 replies on 7/12/2006 10:27 am:
Mags.....oh how you made me laugh! I could just picture you running away with that poor crab! What a great memory! Tell me.....did the crab live???

VATraveler1948 68M

7/12/2006 4:04 am

Quite a story... ah the things we do for love. I never ate too much seafood as a child, I remember fried fish and, for some reason, fried scallops. My fondness for lobster came when I lived in the West Indies in the late 60's. I don't remember when it was that I started eating shrimp and crab. I know that developed a taste for just about all things fishy when I was stationed in Japan in the navy. Hmmm, that give me an idea for a blog post... Thanks for the inspiration.

angelofmercy5 replies on 7/12/2006 10:27 am: in the West Indies must have been some great experience!

redrobin012057 60F

7/12/2006 4:13 am

Oh my gosh!Angel, try putting them in the freezer first, its the humane thing to do,All shell fish are cold blooded creatures anyway.And cook to your hearts content.

angelofmercy5 replies on 7/12/2006 10:28 am: little doll! I wish I had known that back then!

JazzDlight 59F

7/12/2006 4:14 am

I know what you mean hun, I guess that is why I dont eat much of anything that that could have looked me in the face at one time. But that is a funny story. I use to love seafood until I found out they boil crabs and lobster alive. Although I do have a yen for shrimp but I try to stay away from it. Hugs, Jazz

angelofmercy5 replies on 7/12/2006 10:29 am:
Jazz....I can "tolerate" shrimp once in awhile. But I read an article once about how they are "grubsuckers"....crawling along the ocean floor sucking up the crap! yuck! love ya!

VCF1962 105F

7/12/2006 4:29 am


I have a vision of you scurrying round the kitchen trying to catch the little buggers and ending up like something out of a nature programme on TV where all the crabs, millions of them, are crossing the road to get to the beach (maybe to get to the other side !) to mate !!!!

Mistress Innuendo
Taking what you say and turning it into something naughty !!

angelofmercy5 replies on 7/12/2006 10:30 am:'ve got exactly the right vision! And that makes me laugh! Thanks my friend.

TabithaElectra 38F

7/12/2006 4:49 am

Awwwww poor things!

angelofmercy5 replies on 7/12/2006 10:31 am:
Tabs....yep! It was a rough night for all of us! lol

sexyariesgirl 57F

7/12/2006 4:50 am

OMG Angel....I'm STILL laughing! And the vision of your little ones is just too precious!

Power To FOK

angelofmercy5 replies on 7/12/2006 10:32 am:
Sexy....I have to admit that if it had been videotaped, it would have won on Americas Funniest Home Videos! It really would!

luvtolick64154 62M

7/12/2006 5:16 am

That is without a doubt one of the funniest stories I've every read. I'll be snickering all day with visions of you running around the kitchen chasing and being chased by the killer crabs.

Have a great day.

angelofmercy5 replies on 7/12/2006 10:34 am:
Luv.....they did kind of feel like killer crabs at the time! You have a great day too......and think of me when you chuckle!

FrankPicasso 52M

7/12/2006 5:29 am

Hey there, Angelofmercy5. We are probably the only beings on Earth with moral issues when it comes to cooking other living things. Your excellent post really made me consider the following: I wonder, if the tables were somehow turned, would the crabs feel the same way about boiling us up? Now, they might. Who's to say? I'd like to think that if crabs were to have that ability, they could consult their crab friends, and perhaps even crab psychologists, in order to help them figure it all out. That's my take on it, anyway. Take care.

angelofmercy5 replies on 7/12/2006 10:35 am: are too funny! I'm going to be thinking of how many crabs I sent running to their crab psychologists all day long! Loved this comment! I hope you'll come back often!

Addy19742 43F

7/12/2006 5:47 am

That would have done it for me too!!!!!!!!!!! No more crabs! That is so funny but sad at the same time for you. I am just glad you kept the lid on a bit longer. LOL

angelofmercy5 replies on 7/12/2006 10:35 am: was absolutely funny and sad at the same time! I'm glad to see you here at my blog....don't be a stranger now!

electriccompany 52M

7/12/2006 5:59 am

The crabs weren't trying to get away from the boiling water. They actually like it and know that is their destiny. Like a soothing hot bath for them. What they were trying to get away from was the Old Bay seasoning. Crabs want to go out New Orleans style, seasoned by Zataran's crab boil. They like it spicy. If you had seasoned them New Orleans style, when you lifted the lid on the pot, the crabbies would have been holding beads and shouting "SHOW YOUR TITS!"

angelofmercy5 replies on 7/12/2006 10:40 am:
Electric! That is too funny! That they were running from the Old Bay! I dare say that my husband would have like the Zataran's better too! You are great! Come back often, will ya?

VATraveler1948 68M

7/12/2006 6:23 am

Because of the inspiration I got from your blog post I have added a seafood related post to my blog, Take a look and let me know what you think... [post 423709]

angelofmercy5 replies on 7/12/2006 10:40 am:
VAT.....I read it and pimped it a few comments down!

swooness 35F

7/12/2006 6:53 am

thats why i leave all the cooking to everyone else in the way i will stick my hand up a dead turkey's arse or stick live crabs into pots of boiling water but, boy they do taste good

angelofmercy5 replies on 7/12/2006 10:42 am:
Swooness....I'm so glad you stopped by today! I have to admit that it is kind of gross to stick your hand up a dead turkey's ass....but I do it twice a year for the holidays!

wickedeasy 67F  
26757 posts
7/12/2006 6:54 am

wipes tears from my eyes - gott en himmel - that was hysterical

i learned the hard way how to cook lobster as well - but i seem to have overcome my aversion to eating them

the image of your children on the stairs - priceless

You cannot conceive the many without the one.

angelofmercy5 replies on 7/12/2006 10:42 am:
Wicked.....I can almost picture you laughing! And I'll never forget those little voices crying out for help for their mommy!

texaslost 47F

7/12/2006 6:57 am

Thank you angel for the welcome to the blogs. Yours makes for some very interesting reading. maybe we can chat sometime....

angelofmercy5 replies on 7/12/2006 10:43 am: are so welcome! I'm looking forward to getting to know you through your blog posts! And I'd love to chat sometime.

angelofmercy5 59F
17881 posts
7/12/2006 7:08 am

If you want another chuckle about food......go read vatraveler1948 [post 423709] Definitely some funny reading.

superlady694u 36F

7/12/2006 7:12 am FREE!!! Real sex with real people!

angelofmercy5 replies on 7/12/2006 10:44 am:
Superlady....welcome to my blog! But what is that all about, may I ask?????

VirginiaDuckie2 60M

7/12/2006 7:27 am

Something is a little fishy here, I would have gotten very crabby after an encounter like that but you seem to have kept your sense of humor.

angelofmercy5 replies on 7/12/2006 10:14 am:
Virginiaduckie.......quack, quack! This is a cute handle! Nothing fishy about that!

rm_DarknStar 54F
2823 posts
7/12/2006 8:04 am

OMG..that is to funny......I, myself eat lot of different things and LOVES seafood too. But its always dead, by the time it gets to the kitchen ..........and as for that steak, rare for me toooo.

Thx angel for sharing!

angelofmercy5 replies on 7/12/2006 2:09 pm:
Darkn.....I think we need to have a blogland BBQ! We all seem to like our steak on the rare side!

2943 posts
7/12/2006 8:36 am

LOL angel...I love the picture you put up here too!!
That must have been a nightmare...all those critters scattering for their life!!lol....and I don't by that poking 'em between the eyes!!
shudderssss and eeeeeekkkss!!
Funny story...ty for sharing!



angelofmercy5 replies on 7/12/2006 2:10 pm:
SweetSinn....I don't buy that poking them between the eyes either.....if one of them screamed....I don't care if it is air...I'd pass out! lol

seek_u_topia 51M

7/12/2006 9:22 am

wow! what a story! I'm the same way with fishing...i just don't like bashing the fish once I catch them. You poor thing Angel.

angelofmercy5 replies on 7/12/2006 10:13 am:
Seek.....I wouldn't be able to bash those fish either. But do you enjoy eating them afterwards?

fortunaswm 62M/52F

7/12/2006 9:40 am

To funny Angel - I can picture the whole adventure. And like your hubby - I too LOVE seafood - it's my favorite. But I have often thought about the whole crab thing. I don't think I could actually put a living anything into a pot of boiling water - OUCH - that would hurt - even only for a brief second - or two.

Reminds me of my camping trip a month ago - as my aquaintence and I were sitting at the table one evening - a candle lit in the middle - I watched this flying something or another do a Kamikaze style dive into the melted wax at the base of the flame. Again I thought - OUCH - that had to hurt!

angelofmercy5 replies on 7/12/2006 10:12 am: are just too cute! Only you could care that a bug had an "ouch" moment!

rm_goddess1946 106F
13518 posts
7/12/2006 9:55 am

nope...can't eat it if i have to kill it,,,just can't...

Just a little food for thought.............
If you really want to be happy, nobody can stop you...

angelofmercy5 replies on 7/12/2006 10:11 am: either my friend! God thats a great picture!!!!

florallei 99F

7/12/2006 11:18 am

Hello Angel,
I can relate...can laugh now about it but pretty traumatic isn't it...I love anything that is in a shell...snails, crabs, lobsters...can live on that stuff.

angelofmercy5 replies on 7/12/2006 2:13 pm: family is the same way....anything in a shell! But oh man it was traumatice for me back then.....but funny now.

spacecadet561 60M

7/12/2006 1:50 pm

I prefer my food pre-killed. Lobster an crab seem like far too much work. Shrimp are easier, especially if they're already peeled. I've also been known to appreciate a good steak, pork chops, ham, lamb, chicken, turkey.


angelofmercy5 replies on 7/12/2006 2:14 pm:
Spacecadet.....I prefer mine pre-killed too! Love ya!

PassionKisses4Me 44F

7/12/2006 2:37 pm

I am a strong willed woman too but those nasty little things would have never been brought into my kitchen hehehe...I dont care for any kind of seafood



angelofmercy5 replies on 7/12/2006 6:30 pm:
Becky, come on over and lets go out to Outback! I'm not wild about the seafood either!

MaggiesWishes 60F

7/12/2006 4:20 pm

Sis ... all I remember is the crab scootin' into the waves ...
probably produced a bunch of "new" spotted crabs

I do love crab, lobster, scallops and some fish ... baked or broiled, not too fried either, still can't do the slimy things ... *shivers*

angelofmercy5 replies on 7/12/2006 6:33 pm:
Maggie.....I think I've seen that new "spotted" crab! lol love ya sis!

(What the fuck is this shit..?? *rolls eyes*)

7/12/2006 5:00 pm

LMFAO....You murder....hella lot different when Ya got to kill your dinner...Still LMFAO...Ready


angelofmercy5 replies on 7/13/2006 5:20 am:
Ready....I kind of felt like a murderer too! lol I guess I wouldn't have been a great cave woman, would I?

twirly_girl 47F

7/12/2006 5:12 pm

That's just too cute. LOL
I always loved crab since I was a little girl.
We use to go out to the rocky areas in the bay
and fish for them. But I've never in my whole
life ever had to kill them or watch them die.
And I'm quite sure that if I had, then I wouldn't
have liked them nearly as much.

I did get a nice visual of myself doing the exact same thing, though.
Only I would probably have set them all free instead of cooking them.


angelofmercy5 replies on 7/12/2006 6:34 pm:
I thought of setting them free.....but I knew my husband would have had a fit. Plus....I couldn't decide where to put them if I was letting them free.

rm_Shortdogg65 51M
672 posts
7/12/2006 6:33 pm

I used to eat clams as a small child until I actually took a good look at what I was eating. I much prefer a steak as well. I like mine medium well however. Shortdogg

angelofmercy5 replies on 7/12/2006 6:40 pm:
Shortdogg.....well then, I will just leave your steak on the grill for a little longer than mine! Come on over.

rm_sloman44 60M
701 posts
7/12/2006 7:07 pm

Great story Angel. Crab is good. Having crabs is bad. Try this instead:

[blog sloman44]

Angel you are invited!

readytolay_3 has requested your presence at The First Annual Bloggers Orgy. Click above to accept.

angelofmercy5 replies on 7/13/2006 5:21 am:
Sloman.....well, thank you so much! I'll head over there to the "orgy"!

impish_pixie 54F
6867 posts
7/12/2006 7:19 pm really is all about the Karma...while living in Maine where lobster was $1.00 a pound I decided to impress my friends with a lovely lobster New Years Day meal. I picked up my little buddies all nicely bundled up in their little home away from home packing box and headed home quite confident of the task before me. It took less than 30 seconds to lose said confidence once I stood before the boiling pot and contemplated putting those poor little lobsters in it. Had to close my eyes...drop him in....listen to him scream...(SCREAM I tell you)...and then do it 5 more times. My heart was broken by the time I was done...I had more tears than the pot had water. Traumatized even more when I pulled their boiled bright red little bodies from the pot, threw them on the plate and carried them into the dining room with the tears still sliding down my cheeks much to the delight of my guests. (Mainer's you know...) When I was finally able to pick my little buddy up to crack his claw and enjoy the fruits of my trauma...the claw part sliced my thumb damn near to the bone. To make a long story short...I damn near lost my thumb to the infection that came from my little buddie's claw...and it hurt so bad for so long that I almost wished I had. Nasty, nasty, nasty. Karma can be such a bitch...needless to say, I no longer eat all.

I make mistakes, I am out of control & at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best. ~Marilyn

angelofmercy5 replies on 7/13/2006 5:23 am:
Impish......lord girl, I love you. You are just too much! This story could have been a blog in itself! That is just awful.....and I sure don't blame you for not eating lobster anymore!

rocko1019 66M

7/12/2006 7:30 pm

Angel, you are just too funny, and some of the comments of others where priceless.

Living up here near Cape Cod, I've done my fair share of fishing and eating seafood. And many a lobster has been in my pot of boiling water.

You always get a twinge of gu9lt when dropping them in to the hot boiling pot. But when you eat them, heaven.

Steamed clams are the best though, hard to think of them as real living beings. Lol

angelofmercy5 replies on 7/13/2006 5:24 am: sure live in a beautiful part of our country there! I love the comments here too....they just make my day!

marywannado 43F

7/12/2006 8:31 pm

Fuck that, I hate seafood especially cookin it...yuck...

angelofmercy5 replies on 7/13/2006 5:25 am: is a smelly job, isn't it?

somethingelse40 75M
14676 posts
7/13/2006 3:51 am

Is it asking too much to want my life story to have the illusion of a happy ending?

I'm only behaving well at present because I have so few opportunities to behave badly.

Would you care to drift aimlessly in my direction?

Or would you rather have crabs at your place?

angelofmercy5 replies on 7/13/2006 5:26 am:
Something.....nope it isn't asking to much for you to have a happy ending! I'll head over there soon.

somethingelse40 75M
14676 posts
7/13/2006 3:54 am

    Quoting superlady694u: FREE!!! Real sex with real people!
Sounds like a novel idea surely whose time has cum.

angelofmercy5 replies on 7/13/2006 5:26 am:
It sounds like an ad to me......but who knows?

free2chose2 66F

7/13/2006 4:15 am

Never cooked crabs,allergic to clams(feel a blog coming on)lobsters -take em or leave em---Now medium rare steak yummmmmmmmm

Don't worry, be Happy

angelofmercy5 replies on 7/13/2006 5:27 am:
Free....a lady after my own heart! I love it when you feel a blog coming on! I'll look forward to it!

mysticdreamangel 61F
2759 posts
7/13/2006 5:01 am

Angel I'll be laughing all day. The image of you trying to gather those crabs up had me doubled over. I will say you are a much braver woman than I...I would have run the other way and called 911!

angelofmercy5 replies on 7/13/2006 5:28 am: was a funny image, I tell you! Thanks sweetie!

VCF1962 105F

7/13/2006 8:57 am

    Quoting superlady694u: FREE!!! Real sex with real people!
Profile looks like a Superbot !

Why not delete it Angel ?

Mistress Innuendo
Taking what you say and turning it into something naughty !!

curvymeli 39F

7/13/2006 10:39 pm

lol, oh my my, what a traumatic experience! I wouldn't touch the stuff if it had happened to me, either!

Lucky for me, it hasn't, lol

angelofmercy5 replies on 7/14/2006 7:06 am:
Curvy......It didn't effect my daughters from learning to love crab! lol

somethingelse40 75M
14676 posts
7/14/2006 11:32 am

    Quoting superlady694u: FREE!!! Real sex with real people!
What's wrong with real sex with real people for a change? My inflatable date has just about had it.

warmandsexy52 64M
13164 posts
7/16/2006 12:28 pm

It reads like a scene from a Stephen King story! Poor lil critters ......... poor big critters too - survived the experience but eternally traumatised!

I love seafood too.

Crabs included.

Edible crabs are such bullies on the seafloor ..... does that help ease your conscience?

warm xx

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