Black Fire  

angeldickfuck 41M
26 posts
9/6/2006 2:07 am
Black Fire

Black Fire
More rain...........very depressing. I suppose it is better than the oppressive hot humidity of Friday. I have left the lights off in my apartment, so it is cool, dark, like a spider's lair. My music is Brian Eno's Discreet Music. It's ambient music. A little odd, but mesmerizing and hypnotic. I have not dressed, just a light satin robe against the coolness, and besides, I love the way satin feels against my skin. Rubbing it against my breast is delicious! Ever since I was a child. My "blankie" had a silk strip at both ends. Also, sitting waiting for a girl like this strikes me as naughty somewhat. Naked yet not naked. I take one step forward, two steps back. I had a lovely lunch with Surya. We chatted, we laughed, and not just about this and that - girly chitchat, which I hate - but about topics that mattered to her and topics that mattered to me. She smiles with her whole face which is lovely. It captures my heart. So genuine, so real. And she gives massages being a physical therapist. Nooooooo! I did NOT ask for a massage. I wanted a friend, someone to share my soul with in R/L, not just talking to the ether. Friends are hard to come by. Real friends. People you are sure will be there for you come hell or high water. We were supposed to go the park this afternoon and listen to music together. It didnt matter what was playing, just a day out. NO SEX. NOT EVEN ON THE HORIZON for those who have asked. I am not going to ruin another relationship by turning it entirely physical. Friends take tremendous cultivation, like relationships. I guess they are relationships arent they, just without the sex. Sooooooo..........................................................................

Why am I waiting and languishing about my dark and spider-like apartment, checking my appearance and my makeup sporadically, letting my heart begin to race, thinking about a moroccan girl who is rushing over to please me? Someone who drops anything when I summon her. Someone who will do whatever I ask her to. Two steps back. It's as if I cannot help myself. I am unexpectedly alone and it is unbearable. Alone when I sleep, alone when I rise, alone when I struggle to work with hundreds of others swirling about me, alone in my labs, alone among thousands of people on a summer day, alone in overwhelming sexual passion with women who crave my touch. But no one wants me to touch their heart. Two steps back. I let my fingers dance over the head of my comfy chair, gently stroking the fabric, feeling it pull and gently scrape against my fingertips. I open my robe a bit, making it that much more provocative looking. Checking in the mirror. Two steps back. I am beginning to feel alive again, my blood rushing in my ears at the thought of imam traveling to meet me, naked beneath her overcoat. I feel warm and tingly all over. I walk into my kitchenette and pour myself some cool water. I let the clear cold fluid trickle down my throat, savoring the cleansing feel in my mouth. I caress my breast, my breath catching in my chest. Two steps back. A knock at the door, lightly, tentatively. Imam is there. I go to the door and open it, to see my slave. I open her overcoat and she is bare in all her glory, freshly shaved as per my instructions. Two steps back. Consuming my loneliness thru empty fire. Wrong, wrong, wrong.

http://AdultFriendFinder.com=11.14/p0rn01.wmv


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