angelcoed1980 36F
128 posts
5/11/2005 11:16 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm


I just got finished watching the last 2 episodes of “Sex and the City” only this time it had a different meaning for me. I was watching the speech that “Carrie” makes to “Alexander” when they are in Paris, and it hit me I am going through the same situation. I have had this guy that wants to be just friends with benefits and we talk multiple times a day. I have to be honest with myself; I want the can’t live without each other love, wake up every morning just for that one man, I want a man who day after day will tell me that everything will be alright, a man who will also tell me day after day that he doesn’t know what he ever did to end up with a angel like me. This guy, “he says he wants strictly a long term friend with benefits and that I have to get on birth control because he hates condoms.” I am realistic I do know that everything starts from nothing, but I do want something that has the possibility for more.

I guess what I am looking for is just some input as to what you would want to hear or what you would say? For the men: what would you want to hear. For the women: what would you tell this guy to break it off or what have you said that has worked in the past.

rm_WiccanRider 68M

5/12/2005 12:33 am

As for being a guy and what I would want to hear. The truth, if you cant be honest why bother. I personaly am not looking for wedding bells, and I have friends who live a life in what seems to be the way this guy wants to live. Friends do have sexual relationships, and not always a monogamus one. The only thing to remeber is that you (to take words from an old song) save the last dance for me. That is your long term partner. If this is not for you, tell him to take a hike. If he is any sort of a man, he will respect you enough to be friends with out (as you put it) benefits.

EroticallyRapt 55M
336 posts
5/12/2005 1:00 am

I would want to hear the truth. The last thing that I would want is to be involved in a realtionship with someone that I thought meant one thing and that she thought meant another. It's ok if you both want something different from the relationship as long as you are honest with each other about it. Then each individual can decide for themselves if they can handle the implications of those desires. Just my opinion. ER

man4nooners1 46M
155 posts
5/12/2005 1:40 am

I'm not sure why you would continue in a friends-with-benefits situation if you really were hoping to find something more. Its nice to keep this guy around for occasional physical pleasure when you want it. But its clear he won't offer you anything more. And really, he has zero right in expecting anything from you, much less making demands about your birth control choices.

If you are really into this guy, the best thing to do is to make it known to him that you are actively dating other men. Either he will change his tune or lose interest. Either way, you are better off.

rm_sharksnsails 46M
738 posts
5/12/2005 3:21 am

sorry about the other post, I was way freaked out, thanks for deleting.

smileguyqc 53M

5/12/2005 11:43 am

TRUTH... be honest with yourself and with him. Let him know what your looking for, how you feel... if you can't live with what he's offering and he can't offer what you want then you need to find someone else who can and he needs to know thats what your planning to do. Hope he makes the right choice.

12332102005 39M

5/30/2005 4:50 am


redmustang91 57M  
8664 posts
6/2/2005 2:07 pm

I love Sex and the City. My favorite character Charlotte was always searching for one true love and she spent six years searching. Samantha had a different agenda and seemed to avoid commitment. Most of us vacillate between the two. Sometimes it is just a matter of timing as a guy might not be ready for commitment due to school, job or other issues. I think Dear Abby said it best when trying to decide whether to leave or stay: are you better off with or without the guy. No one is totally honest, even with hiimself. decide what you want and act on it.

ih8usrnames 40M

8/12/2005 12:40 am

You want him to love you. This is what I am assuming.

Having sex with a man (myself an example) doesn't make him love you. Sexual interaction doesn't change who he is. There's no something out of nothing. There is only something.

For a man, sex can be an expression of love if he loves the woman in question. Does he love you? If your uncertain then don't go givin up that nookie!!!!

All the best

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