Screw the Drama!.....  

amberabercrombie 37F
11929 posts
6/21/2006 6:09 am

Last Read:
7/28/2006 8:08 pm

Screw the Drama!.....

First and foremost I have to apologize to all you lovely blog readers out there....this has been a crazy month and I'm way behind on blogs....comments etc....I know I’ve been behind before but not like this...I'm use to writing a blog per day....not this every other day bullshit...I'm back....will get caught up and back in the game!...

That said....

It’s hard to think of a topic when surrounded all around me is blog drama....I'm not one for the drama I never have been and I never will be....I respect peoples choices.... their opinions and leave it at that....when I first started blogging people would ask me why I don’t comment on other blogs...I said simple...if I keep to my own bullshit....well as most of you know that didn’t last...I love the people I’ve met here....blogs I’ve read....friends I’ve made....its hard not to get to know the person behind the journal....I believe it would do us all some good to remember that there is in fact a real person behind these words....

Now don’t get me wrong in my every day life I have to admit I'm all for being in the spotlight...yea I said it...I like to be center of attention when out with friends...I'm the loud one that must be heard!....The one that loves to flirt and dance.....The office gal by day...but party girl by night.....There are just some things that I like to be center of attention on and other things that I choose to stay out of....

It seems only fitting that I question this today.....

Are you one for drama and I don’t mean every day blog drama...I mean real life drama to!...Do you like to be center of attention... in the you thrive on others quarrels...Does it make for interesting reading seeing arguments all over the blogs.....Or are you like me and leave well enough alone...Well...tell me Sparky....Which of these best suits you!.....

EroticaXTC 49F

6/21/2006 6:54 am

I prefer my drama on dvd...
when it comes to real life or blog life, I don't like to perpetuate it.

Glimmer_Man06 47M
3308 posts
6/21/2006 7:00 am

Are you one for drama and I don’t mean every day blog drama...I mean real life drama to! No, I hate drama!

...Do you like to be center of attention... in the spotlight? I love attention, but it isn't neccesary for me to be the middle of it. you thrive on others quarrels? Hell no! All the bickering REALLY goes on my nerves!

...Does it make for interesting reading seeing arguments all over the blogs? No, it is rather disgusting. There are enough other problems in the world, don't you think?

.....Or are you like me and leave well enough alone? I love to leave things alone, but am often asked for help and find myself right in the middle of something I have nothing to do with!

They say a woman ages like fine wine...

...mine ages like milk!

sillyperv 54M

6/21/2006 7:30 am

Hmmmm! Well, I don't care much for chronic personal melodrama where a how toothpaste is squeezed out of the tube is worthy of a heated battle.

Depends on what center and what kind of attention.

Personal dissing on blogs cracks me up. It also wants me to slaps the perps in the head repeatedly. And I would never participate, expecially in Blogville.

Now a political arguement. Well, I'm the guy still going on at 4 in the morning and my victems are beating themselves with hammers for relief.

I never said I was perfect.

Oh, and what the fuck is the cup doing in Carolina?

T_A_B_75 41M

6/21/2006 8:24 am

My personality allows me to cover most of the board. Most the time I am the center of attention. Even so I have a sense of what is going on around me. I'm the guy who makes sure everyone else is enjoying themselves.

I will entertain if necessary but it is very easy for me to sit back and let someone else have the spotlight. It allows me to people watch. I don't mind either.

My life, according to friends, is a soap opera. So I would have to say that drama surrounds me.

Intensity4U 52M
7432 posts
6/21/2006 9:18 am

If people want to argue publicly, fine - I don't. I did read some of the recent stuff because I wanted to get a feel for some of the people who are in the spotlight here - very enlightening.

I stopped reading negative, condescending, bitchy blogs & that's when I started to enjoy blogging.

Real life: I've always had an inclination of being the center of attention - I don't really crave it though. Lately, I just try to avoid it.

rm_smosmof2 67M
3240 posts
6/21/2006 9:56 am

I'm a self contradiction.

I crave attention, but am uncomfortable when I get it. Generally, I fade into the background, or pass for invisible, but if you get me going on the right subjects, I can hold court with the best of them. When I get rolling, it's hard to shut me up.

LocumPampaSloth 46M
8 posts
6/21/2006 11:45 am

I think with most people it depends on the situation - at least that is for sure how it is for me. In some situations I like to be the chameleon and fade into the background - just lean back and "people-watch" (Sometimes I learn more form observing and listening to people, the through two-way conversation - so, just think how much I can learn about YOU just form reading your blog - gotta love that - hahaha)

However, when I teach or give presentations - or when I coach triathletes or bodypump classes - of course I am center of attention; and that I love. I guess I love when I engage in things where I am the "expert" and that way becomes center of attention.

In some ways I am very shy, though. (stems from my past) - so just the thought of Karaoke freaks me out - brings out the drops of cold sweat. Likewise - it takes quite a few drinks to tempt me out on the dance floor.

But turning to DRAMA - I quickly turn away again. I just don't have the energy for high maintenance situations. Don't get me wrong - I love to pamper the girl. I love to leave her with NO DOUBT that she is the center of my world. She will never doubt my devotion. All I am saying is that the "maintenance" should be earned not demanded. If she treats me like the gentleman I am (or my mother wish I had become), then she will get nothing less than the princess-treatment. But if it turns into demands and high-school drama, I will be looking for a good time to use the "we need to talk..."-opening.

Anyway - let me just say this.. I love your blog. I read it often, but have been bad at commenting - sorry for that. You amaze me in many ways, and I am looking forward to your dropping by again tomorrow..

maverick1255 51M
3953 posts
6/21/2006 11:52 am

Are you one for drama and I don’t mean every day blog drama...I mean real life drama to!
My real life can be messed up enough with out more drama!

Do you like to be center of the spotlight....
No, but I can step up when needed.

do you thrive on others quarrels...
No, this is not enjoyable.

Does it make for interesting reading seeing arguments all over the blogs.....
No, I do not come here to see fighting and bad mouthing of others.

Or are you like me and leave well enough alone...
I look and maybe read to try and understand, but will not comment and add to the fire.

Well...tell me Sparky....Which of these best suits you!
I am here to meet others and blog. I comment, make jokes, have fun, play with others verbally and hope for more , I may rant, or vent about things, but some of the other garbage - I just ignore and move on.

Ok, Sparkette!!


free2chose2 66F

6/21/2006 12:21 pm

no, I don't like being center stage
As for blog drama, it gets old quickly

Don't worry, be Happy

ilsuconu 56M

6/21/2006 1:02 pm

Well, it's like this for me: I won't get my shoes dirty if I walk around the shit instead of stepping in it, and, shit that's been laying around generally won't stink until it's stirred up. I guess that makes me one of those "lazee fair" (I think that's how it's spelled)... I don't fix what ain't broke, and I don't offer opinion when it's not requested.

goodatpoetry2 66M
12386 posts
6/21/2006 1:05 pm

I've always kept to the shadows.
I don't like to be center of attention at all.

norprin5 55M

6/21/2006 1:07 pm

don't like the drama at all...i play on my Canuckness and try to be a peacekeeper...

[post 397079]

King Nor XVIII

ThickandUncut35 46M

6/21/2006 1:10 pm

I'm not into drama. It tends to upset me a little too much. I prefer and enjoy tranquility, peace and quiet. Those who like drama will always find it. Best wishes to all.

rm_ChiRugger 42M

6/21/2006 1:14 pm

I am the center of the Universe... right? I come from a long line of males who believe "we are always right (even when we are wrong), and no one matters except for me" types. That said, we hate to be told otherwise and we prove it by not paying attention to or getting involved in other's drama and crap (we are too good for that). Other people and their drama is just inconsequential. Right? You may think that is tongue and cheek, but really it's how my family is. I am trying not to be that way. I was raised that way, and I have trouble not thinking that way. I am trying to be more sensitive to others (not working real well). What was your gripe I forgot... Oh who cares.

bonusballr 55M
7 posts
6/21/2006 1:25 pm

Hi Amber,

I don't do the drama scene and personally I believe anyone who thrives on drama, others or the drama they create, should be staked out over a fire ant hill and pour honey on their genitalia. A bit harsh some might say. But not if you've had live through it like I did as a kid. People who either create drama of their own or feed off the drama of others, only consume and destroy those around them. And they no better than parasites and should be treated accordingly.

PurplePeach72 44F  
9199 posts
6/21/2006 1:46 pm

I HATE drama, but if you've ever read my blog you know in real life it has a way of finding me. I do like to be the center of attention but prefer that to be a one on one (ok maybe 3-6 kind of attention. I'm spent years of my life reducing the drama, working through my own drama in therapy and try to avoid people who seem to make their own.

As for the blog drama, I ignore it as much as possible. Greeat Post.


rm_dchill62 54M
5 posts
6/21/2006 1:51 pm

A little drama might be good to spice things up, but you have to draw the line somewhere.

I don't think most people want to be the center of attention all the time. But it would be nice to get the spotlight from time to time, even if it's just with one other person around.

I feel that my self-confidence is such that I don't need the attention of the crowd to feel satisfied. As long as I'm heading in the direction of my goals I'm cool.

Anyway, I deal with drama one episode at a time. That worth dealing with is dealt with swiftly. Don't want too much to pile up. The rest is brushed aside.

imLadyBambi 58M/50F

6/21/2006 2:18 pm


I do like being in the "Spotlight" but not with alot of drama.

Good drama is okay,but bad drama sorry can't deal with it it's just not my personality.

Lady B.

Dildo_replacemen 38M

6/21/2006 4:01 pm

Are you one for drama and I don't mean every day blog drama...I mean real life drama to!
I think I'm missing the whole blog drama, I guess I'm not in the "in" crowd. lol

Do you like to be center of attention... in the spotlight?
I like to be the center of attention with friends and family, could care less when I'm in a crowd of people that don't know me.

Do you thrive on others quarrels?
Hmmm... I'm going to say NO! I'm not one for quarrels - don't like to raise my voice!

Does it make for interesting reading seeing arguments all over the blogs?
Reading others rants are fun, just as long as people catch the humor and keep it humorous.

Or are you like me and leave well enough alone...Well...tell me Sparky....Which of these best suits you! My spark is a constant cool and tempered flame. The ability to control one's emotion is key to a happy state of mind. Put thought behind an emotion instead of exploding at the slightest misinterpretation makes a persons responses and statements powerful.

FunFlirty4u 45F

6/21/2006 4:09 pm

I don't mind a little work gossip but as far as drama on the blogs I don't really know everyone well enough to comment at this point. Maybe the drama in the blogs makes things more interesting for some people.

Twister2bed 47M
617 posts
6/21/2006 4:16 pm

I don't look for drama here or in RL, But sometimes it finds me.
If I'm taken to task I never back down though

rm_cnilingsfan2 48M
158 posts
6/21/2006 4:47 pm

I don't tolerate BS or drama, I am very low key and I like to have fun with words and sarcasm.( I was weened on Monty Python ..) Don't get me wrong I am not introverted or self absorbed either as I can't take myself seriously most of the time as I will make a joke in almost any situation. I don't need to be the center of attention and I believe in letting people be people. I left high school far behind I don't need the drama. I have to agree with Bonusballr's idea of what to do with people into drama

rm_KirkVW44m 54M
688 posts
6/21/2006 4:59 pm

My circle of friends is tight and close.. There is no need for drama as honesty, truth and love define those friendships.. Attention? Hell no i don't need a spotlight or alot of attention to get by in life. Drama? not my thing.. Truth or nothing.

keithcancook 60M
17718 posts
6/21/2006 5:30 pm

I've always found these blog fights to be very interesting. I remember the first one when BlogLand was in it's infancy. It concerned whether the blogger bella_ was a fake, pix and all.

It stunned me the way that folks I had been blogging with for nearly 2 months jumped up and started spouting stuff they couldn't possibly verify. Mostly conjecture and perception is what was printed.

I was amazed at the sudden surge in energy that was generated by that incident. And I took note of it and sorta changed the direction of my own blog towards outlandishness.

These things seem to happen every couple of months. While I am indeed sorry that folks are experiencing real pain from blog controversies, we all enter the internet world at our own risk.

Overall, I think it is good for BlogLand to have controversies. I learn so much more about the folks I have been reading when I see them responding to the various eruptions.

Blog On!

PS: Bella_ was and is "real".

docdirk 47M

6/21/2006 5:53 pm

All depends on the amount of freedom my parole officer grants to me!

Ah, Its you again, Your Angel Feathers and your Blood Stains...

rm_ironhead1956 60M
275 posts
6/21/2006 6:30 pm

I'm with you about the drama, who needs it when you come online to enjoy yourself, by the way love the little pics you put in your post. This is the first time I've been to this site, but I like it.

rm_bk2nrml 57M

6/21/2006 6:31 pm

Are you one for drama and I don’t mean every day blog drama...I mean real life drama too!

not me !! i have enough of that at work !

...Do you like to be center of attention... in the spotlight?
only if im with you and your working the spotlight amber mmmmmmm...... what i would give you thrive on others quarrels?
depends on my frame of mind. most times i just laugh at the silliness of it all. other times, i just completely ignore it 'cause its annoying.

...Does it make for interesting reading seeing arguments all over the blogs?

depends on the subject. politics are always good for a few laughs.

.....Or are you like me and leave well enough alone?

i let sleeping dogs lie until one of them jumps up and bites me on the ass.

rm_kelli4u2dew 41F
5220 posts
6/21/2006 6:34 pm

I've stayed out of it. I've had enough drama in my life that I don't need any more.

Djeeper1987 47M

6/21/2006 6:34 pm

I don't prefer drama as I get enough of it in the family. Every occasion its as the world turns.
Anyway, I don't like quarrels very much either as I use to quarrel with my parents and it use to get out of hand on some occasions as well.
So in the real world, I like to live it alone or just ignore it.

Carpe Diem

TheCliticals 34F/F

6/21/2006 6:51 pm

As a drama student, I cant live without it.

I only wish that blogsville could be free of it.

ps54 55M

6/21/2006 7:00 pm

Gee whiz,
Blue Sparky has to bite on that one.
Cycle-dramas are best won by someone that only got one testicle after the divorce... [thanks, Lance, for setting the example so the rest of of us don't have to...], they truly know the pain of separation in a private matter.
As for being the center of attention, isn't that the same place as the bull's eye? I don't know...

I've been cookin' and cleaning toilets for so long that I got too old for you along the Wei, however, I still have my eyes working... that's how I see the grey hairs... and it's bad enough when they start on the head, but when they spread... oy vay! It's pluck 'em and be bald, or be spotted striped... and to think that 18teenrs pay for stripes in their hair...

As for what suits, me? try Spades... Hearts is a tough enough game, but nothing like Spades. It's all how One play's One's cards I suppose... Hope to meet you sometime... [not likely, but Who ever knows...] bet you are a firebaall and a'half... at least your head is screwed on and not up.

I sense a conflict brewing [or is that a cauldron?] so I am leaving. Bye.

p.s. thanks for the post... you are "pdfff"...
You know how to get a hold of me, but this time I'm taking my ball home...

rm_imtheone42 74M
485 posts
6/21/2006 7:03 pm

I guess I don`t really want to be the center of attention but being noticed now and then is okay. I haven`t posted a picture on this site so I guess I don`t want too much attention here. It`s working really well. lol

I hate to hear people arguing or read about arguments in the blogs. A respectful debate on a subject that interest me is fine but never an argument.

reverend21 49M
1913 posts
6/21/2006 7:35 pm

If I want drama, I'll watch a movie, I've had my time in the spotlight, have no desire to be there any more, as for the arguements, sorry, I've got better things to do

TonyPlays 64M

6/21/2006 7:54 pm

Even if I pretend that I don't, I totally enjoy being in the spotlight. It's just my nature.

But as far as drama goes, I have no need for it in my life. When people are being drama queens, they are just dramatizing some past b.s. and it seems to me it is just a waste of time for all involved. Who needs a soap opera?


6/21/2006 8:26 pm

I can live with out it...great post

under the stars
We choose to write
you choose what you comprehend.
read twice and be nice
every key stroke... has a heart beat

Nightguy_1961 55M
4866 posts
6/21/2006 10:11 pm


I try to stay out of it, but since I was kind of dragged into the latest drama by a simple phone call, I guess I was stuck in it....

I had thought about shutting down my blog and just walking away from it...but after a few comments from others and what my lady posted on the 21st, I have reconsidered...why should I let the bastards run me off?

Thank for a great post...hope you are feeling better..

NG61...slipping back into the shadows...

MaggiesWishes 59F

6/21/2006 10:13 pm

I have known drama children and they flock to me as if I have a sign painted on my forehead, "drop drama here". yessh!

I have feelings just like the next person, but I tend to keep them to myself, or write and tuck them away ... sometimes I bring them out due to other's feelings and use them as a filter.

I keep my RL and my cyber life in check.
But how can you not want to moral support your friends here or in RL?

OH, well.... I love the circle.

warm huggies 2ya sweet lady

kyonte1 40M

6/21/2006 11:03 pm

I think you should write a novel.

LustyTaurus 48M  
21253 posts
6/21/2006 11:45 pm

I don't need or look for drama anywhere...I am easily amused and easily entertained so i don't need to be the center of attention either. Lastly, if something needs solving or to be ended...I'm usually the one to do it.

rm_Ellenback 58F
966 posts
6/22/2006 4:52 am

I hate the drama of conflict, but love the drama of being on centre stage...oh what a tortured soul am I!

I fronted for a rock band that played out for years, and I loved being in the spotlight there, but 28 years of a relationship with probably the most dramatic man I've ever known taught me that it's a double-edged sword. When I received acclamation from others for doing what I do best, my Ex felt neglected and jealous, and would do things to punish me for this, but he also received bonuses from our music, so it was reward, punishment, reward, punishment...

Now, I just try to stay out of it. Singing with the blues boys, who also hate the spotlight, is the best of all worlds.



wanderlust01970 50M

6/22/2006 11:33 am

As far as the blogs go, I keep to my little world. Everyone is here for their own reasons. Me, I have my own issues that I perpetuate for myself. We all have a place to be, even if it's here.

intierzha 43M

6/22/2006 12:21 pm

Admittedly, I can touch on a controversial subject or two in my blog, but not with the ferocity of opinion and blind devotion to such opinions I have seen in other blogs. Personally, I am not much of a fan of drama, though it seems to circulate near me in real life. I tend to be able to defuse a few situations since I can be rather diplomatic, but a lot of the time (especially when dealing with family), people will not be convinced of another view if they are certain their view is correct... even if their view is actually wrong. And really, the problem with drama is... people. We are what we are, and most of us, especially those of us that blog, are opinionated and at times unwavering in our view of ourselves and how we conduct matters. I prefer to give most people the benefit of the doubt, listen to what they have to say, whether informed or not they may be, and the react without the kind of emotion I have seen on some blogs and other forums that allow posting of comments.


SleekIcilyVarix 41M

6/22/2006 2:01 pm

I'm not an attention seeker.
As far as drama goes, I like helping other people sort through their drama, but I don't like being sucked into it.
In general I think people should "Save the acting out for your therapist." That said, I'd like to be a therapist.

fair__is__fair 30F
15 posts
6/22/2006 2:10 pm

Sorry to disturb your blog, but someone has recently emailed me and harrased me by sending me this letter about Herman from the abuse team. I’m not going to give the name of the person who harrassed me since this is his first time, but I just want to make everyone aware of what this person is saying about poor Herman!

Here’s what he wrote to me!

Does AdultFriendFinder have a staffing problem, maybe?

As I’ve already mentioned, it is not my jurisdiction to tell AdultFriendFinder how to run their company, but if a staff member is acting in such a manner which is discriminatory toward ones dating approach, and acting on behalf of those who are abusive, and refusing to hear any explanation on behalf of the defender whatsoever, is it wrong to point him out? What if this person is acting against the interest of a fair non-judgemental dating environment, where everyone’s unique opinions and personalities are treated with equal respect?
What if he is standing in the way of future AdultFriendFinder profits? Suppose there is clear evidence that he is abusive of his authority, and uses his own personal discrimination in preventing a paid site member from expressing a reasonable case for his side of a conflict? Suppose his job is to mediate conflict, and he lacks character, and there is clear evidence that he has a dictating personality, and offers no evaluative reasoning for his decisions? What if someone’s unique dating approach is done with the intention of improving the site for everyone, yet the staff member simply outright refuses to listen? Suppose it can be made very obvious to anyone who understands the dating business, that this staff member simply does not have the attributes and skills required to fulfill what his position requires of him? What if unquestionable evidence ofthis can be provided at the end of this post? Then would it be wrong to point him out? Perhaps it would be. Maybe I’ll just Email the name of this person to several site members privately and see what they think, and allow them to act on their own judgement, in hopes that a more openminded abuse team member, with more character, diplomacy skills, reasoning ability, and respect for the diversity of all site members tenure on the site can be promoted to an authority figure in the abuse team.

For now, I merely wish to state my case against this anonymous staff member, so that all of those who read this message can find the necessary evidence which will lead to proof that this staff member is neither acting in the interest of the company, or it’s paid site members. I merely do this in the interest of the well being of any and/or all site members, past, present, and future, so that people can feel confident and secure that they will not be removed from access to all those people in which a person has invested so much of their time and affection for.

At the forefront, I’d just like to say that the person who I am speaking on behalf of has told me quite earnestly that all AdultFriendFinder staff members have been very gracious and understanding in their dealings with him, and he has found it quite easy to reach an agreement with them. However, the one and only abuse team member, of those he has spoken with, who refuses to listen to any part of this site members defense against abuse reports from members of whom my subject has wittingly albeit fairly retaliated against, also happens to hold an authoritative position within the abuse department.

THE QUESTION I HAVE for anyone to whom this authoritative abuse team member is held accountable to, is how are people supposed to enjoy this site when they have to live in fear of the fact that someone with the power to remove them from all those they have invested their time and energy into, can be persuaded to do so easily by those who try to dictate to other people how to approach the site? Would the site not be better if all people were allowed to express their person in manner which represents them according to their own personal tastes in a sex partner? If a person is not free to present themselves in as interesting of a manner as they are capable of, what is the point of competing for a sex partner on this site? There are far more women off the site, to which a person is not limited in their manner of expression.

Those who have used the advice lines for any period of time should be already quite aware of this, but to those of which the staff member of which I speak of is held accountable to, who are not aware, a trip to the advice lines will soon demonstrate that there is a large majority of individuals who are trying to dictate to other people the type of questions they should ask, and putting a great deal of effort into ensuring that everyone who visits the advice columns ask questions that suit the ideals of how this majority feels the advice columns should operate.

When they do not like the nature of someone’s question, they all join forces, to go in and insult the person’s choice of question, and tell them not to come to the advice columns, without ever giving any effort whatsoever toward giving an answer that would satisfy to any end what the advice seeker is seeking.

If you visit the advice columns, this evidence is quite clear. The insults are very common.
No more clear is this then the manner in which nice20402s advice question bearing new york in the title in which many members copied and pasted the same negative response to his taste in humor, calling him a troll and casting the uneducated judgement that he does not respect women. How an adult presents themselves in the public eye, bears no relation to how a person treats an individual. Everyone has different tastes in humor and are attracted to and/or unattracted to different qualities. I’m very certain that luvpump and other exectutives are well aware of the fact that a dating site serves the people best when it consists of variety as opposed to uniformity. The parts of the dating environment
which act as a public forum for the exposure of legal adults to the general dating public should be open to all forms of expression, so that people are able to not only freely express themselves in accordance to their personal satisfaction, but so that the dating environment consists of enough variety that members may find the type of partner that meets their own personal preference. No one should have any right to decide how another person presents themselves in a public forum. If you don’t like to watch “Southpark”, change the channel. I’m sure there are plenty of episodes of “Leave it to Beaver” out there to watch, and if that’s your preference, then whatever happens on Southpark should be of no concern to you. Should you choose to attack the dating style of someone that does not suit your own in a public forum, then in my opinion, you should be open to any form of retaliation within that public forum. There should be no reason to have someone removed from the site simply because you do not agree with their dating approach. We are all here to find the people that match us. While debating and arguing can sometimes be a fun approach to take in getting to know someone, having someone you don’t know removed from the system, simply because you do no like their dating methods is absolutely unacceptable. I don’t think any truly mature adult would disagree with that.

Rather then report abuse to these people’s insults and dictatorship, as was suggested to him by one staff member, the subject who I represent chose instead to retaliate to these people’s insults with insults of his own.

At the point where my subject had done this, the instigators took great offence to this, and began to pile insult after insult on him, no matter what type of question he asked. Even when he chose to graciously step down from the position he felt to be right, and offered to bury the hatchet, these individuals STILL laid insults on him.

I’d like to point out ten facts about my subject.

1. He has never once reported abuse on a member for any reason .
2 He has never once Emailed anything to a member in private that was in the slightest way derogative toward them.
3. He has never told anyone how they should go about using the site, or asked that they change any aspect of their profile or dating approach.
4. He has attempted to resolve conflicts on many occasions
5 He has carried out all conflict in an entertaining manner within the exposure of a public forum.

6. All of his retaliations and comebacks have been done in fun, non hating manner, and his retaliations are done with the intention of acting in the interest of all victims of aggression in an entertaining manner.
7. Not one person who he has retaliated against or anyone one else claiming to have reason to report him for abuse has ever spoken to him in person.
8. He has always responded kindly on the site to those who speak well of him.
9. He has treated all people in the same manner, and responded in accordance to how he has been responded to, regardless of age, sex, sexual orientation, race, or religion. Any derogatory terms concerning race and sexual orientation have been used in a friendly manner.

10. He has explained his position quite effectively to many members of the abuse team, who have all repeatedly accepted his reasoning, and had his profile reapproved approximately 15 to 20 times, and has only failed to reach agreement with one abuse team member.

Neither I, nor my subject ever hoped it would have to come to this, but when an AdultFriendFinder staff member who holds a position of authority, has clearly failed to treat site members fairly and with respect, and outright refused to act diplomatically, after several attempts of offering a polite and reasonable explanation, I feel a need to step in, so that in the future, AdultFriendFinder staff members will act in a manner which best serves the interest of it’s members.

As promised at the beginning of this post I will now provide evidence which will clearly demonstrate that one staff member has not been acting in accordance to a strategy which serves the interest of the company or that provides understanding to a wide variety of personality types from different social backgrounds, which I feel is a vital skill necessary in creating a positive an diverse atmosphere on a dating site which is exposed to the general adult public.

I only do this so that a more suitable, openminded member of the abuse team can be promoted to a position of authority, while the current authorative abuse department figure can be placed in a position which is more suitable to his character style and skills.

Should this particular staff member choose to take recourse on his discriminatory actions, and begin to move more toward a direction which serves it’s members interests, I see no reason why he should not be allowed to continue developing skills in his current position.

However, should he continue to disallow people like my subject who I describe in the list of nine facts, to have the freedom to express himself according to his own personal dating tastes, and continues to act in accordance with the current dictatorial majority in the advice columns, I do not feel this will serve the interests of future site members who may receive the same abuse from this same current dictatorial majority.

I believe all adults on this site should respect any and all dating approaches, of anyone presenting himself on any of the sites public forums, regardless of whether or not they agree with that approach.

I believe retalitory insults, or insults which are used sparingly in a PUBLIC FORUM, should not be considered abuse.

Just as the majority of site members were allowed the freedom to lay insults on my subject, my subject should have the freedom to lay retaliatory insults on that same majority.

Unless someone is acting in a manner which clearly acts against the personal safety or well being of a site member, all adults who enter into a public forum should bear the responsibility of acting in their own defense.

This is what allows adults to have personal growth and progression in their search for a partner who expresses themselves freely, and without prejudice.

Provided that AdultFriendFinder monitors their telephone abuse reports, as any dating site should to ensure fair treatment of site members by the staff, there should be clear evidence that the site member who was initially a paid gold member, and bore the handle entitled livinlavalova, melikekmunch2, and guess_hooze_back among others, has approached the abuse team on several occasions and acted politely and diplomatically in defense of abuse reports against him. Much of the reasoning behind his defense can be determined from conversations from a variety of Abuse team staff. Clear evidence should exist, that there has been but only one staff member who failed to listen to his reasoning. It should also be quite clear that this staff member has acted unreasonably toward being understanding to this site member, and has not provided suitable cause, made any attempt to acknowledge my subject’s reasoning, and provided no just reasoning for his stubborn refusal of this member’s enjoyment on the site other than “we do not allow members whose profile we have removed to return.”

Despite consistent attempts by my subject to use diplomacy and sound reasoning to persuade this sole staff member to allow my subject to continue his attempts at finding his style of partner, and enhancing the marketability of the site, the staff member has consistently fell back on the reasoning quoted above, and has clearly stated that this decision his solely his own.

He has also threatened to take legal action against this initial gold member who has put forth tireless efforts toward enhancing the entertainment value of the site, for his refusal to leave the site, as those who instigated the attack on freedom of expression, would likely support.

Livinlavalova’s initial advice questions, “If I don’t look as good as Larry King, do Ihave a hope in hell on this site,” and “I’m having a math problem here,” should provide clear evidence of how his harmless dating approach was dissuaded, how he defended his approach, and how the mass attacks on him developed.

All advice questions on all handlenames he has used should provide insight into his character and qualities, the manner in which he responds to friendly members, and his elaborate strategy against non friendly members. I feel it is reasonable to assert this matter so that Liv Inlavalova as well as any future members whose approach runs contrary to the uniformity of the majority, can be free of harrassment from members and
staff in the future, and feel free to enjoy the site like everyone else.

I would like to again reiterate the fact that my subject has not once reported abuse on a sitemember.

Thank you for your consideration.


Please make people aware of what this person has said, so that site members can stop harrassing AdultFriendFinder staff and the site can be more enjoyable for all.
I will now post this on the CEO’s blog as well as anywhere I can, so that people who are trying to enjoy the site can be aware of what is being said about Herman.
I apologize for the interruption.


jd29992z 54M
3888 posts
6/22/2006 9:15 pm

I hate drama I like to just crews through life but for some reason DRAMA seeks me out no matter how hard I try to hide from it drives me crazy that people thrive on it oh well to each their own I guess. Later girl JD

rm_tlaw781 38M

6/22/2006 9:20 pm

I think the word Drama can get a bad . I would prefer bullshit!! Are you a fan of bullshit or everyday bullshit? Just makes it more of the right context for me. Drama could be sitting at a lake and watching an eagle swoop down and snatch a fish off the lake and devour it. Now that's drama I know you're like WTF, I just saw it last weekend and it came to mind!
No, I don't care much for bullshit when it takes up time, precious time, that could be used in a more productive manner. Like when somebody comes up to me with their same ol negative bullshit and I just make a comment like "it could always be worse" and move on.
As for the bullshit on this sight, well some of it's just funny in a sad way like watching jerry springer and seeing a lady who's punching her ex because he's sleeping with all three of her daughters and they love him mom! That's a wreck that I just have to stop and take a lil o peek at. But the other mean bullshit I just take into context and realize the person who is taking the shots is really the victim in the whole thing and hope they can realize taking it out on others just shows all the more assistance in life they need and I hope they find it.
Now I try to avoid bullshit at all costs, but I'm not perfect and if it comes my way and i can't avoid it well then it's gonna be solved. Hopefully in the best way possible!
PS I think you might get some drama if you don't get your ass in gear on your blog!! Just Kidding everybody luuuuuvvs yaa Hugs and kisses for you beautiful because "you move me...!"

concupiscentKid 40M

6/23/2006 8:27 am

Drama sucks as far as I'm concerned.
Would anyone admit to actually liking drama??

kinkyness27 39M

6/23/2006 8:13 pm

Well to keep it simple, No,I dispize real life drama. NO,being in the spot lite makes me cringe. No to quarrels. Yes,and no depending on the use of the word arguement (lol). Yes and no, everyones different, yet share the same views at times.

im_curious_4u 50M

6/24/2006 12:30 am

Hmm...sometimes, hehehehehehehhahahahhaa!!!!!!

Dildo_replacemen 38M

6/26/2006 8:13 pm

Or hate... lol

Thanks for the complement cutie.

goodtimesman76 40M

7/1/2006 1:40 am

I'm in the leave well enough alone club. Sometimes I wish I'd speak up at times, but then I over think things, and realize it would be better to keep my thoughts to myself. Most of the time I act this way at work. Outside of work is another matter, I'm not afraid to say 'bullshit' if I think the situation calls for it. It all depends...

P.S. Love the cartoons, I always wondered since the age of 8 if Snow White had a nice rack or not, now I know and I'm not disappointed!
Thank you Amber.

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