My bed...My Lay...My fuck...Right?  

amberabercrombie 37F
11929 posts
5/10/2006 2:06 am

Last Read:
7/7/2006 9:08 pm

My bed...My Lay...My fuck...Right?

I have to admit from time to time I have been known to call up the x for a quick and thoughtless booty call...I’ve never had the fuck buddy...I’ve never did the one night stand..and I can honestly say I haven’t had meaningless sex without some form of attachment to it....

I admire those that are able to let loose and have sex carefree and so easily..I often wonder if perhaps I'm a prude...

My question today is easy..perhaps if anything for my own sense of mind...have you ever had that fuck buddy... the one you call only for sex...have you ever had that one night stand...are you able to have sex without emotions attached...would I be so wrong as to want that to..?

rm_zahuma2 50M
459 posts
5/10/2006 2:18 am

Good Question

Almost, every person is dirrent from the other.
I think it's not important getting into a relationship for having sex. If the girl is sexy with a super model figure & a pretty face then I won't think for the second time and go for her.

And trust me, most of the times the pleasure you get from a new partner is so good that you keep thinking for why didn't I get her earlier.

closer2u1971 46M

5/10/2006 3:00 am

i have had the fuck buddy with not emotions attached but i have to admit, i think it's done more emotional damage than good.

as for those who are able to let loose and go for it, i don't feel jealous. i feel that once you start removing the emotional element out of sex then you yourself become an empty shell.

how could you honestly make love to your future spouse after having so much meaningless sex? it's like a sport, you are not all that great at it when you begin but practice makes perfect. the same goes for one night stands and animalistic sex. you condition yourself to accept it.

i would rather "fuck" my wife like a whore and treat her like a queen than constantly waste it into an empty body.

oldude1946 71M

5/10/2006 3:09 am

Clear your mind and your ass will follow!

enginiraq 45M

5/10/2006 5:16 am

never had one,always wanted one.I guess I am not one of the lucky ones.Yes, I also agree with zahuma.

rm_Radel66 50M
8 posts
5/10/2006 5:34 am

My ex and I shared a fuckbuddy. It was a good arangment. She was a good friend of our, someone we both admired and trusted. Not total lack of emotional atatchment, but not in love with her either. We did lover her, she was/is a friend. It dosn't have to be either or. I left my mariage, but I still keep in contact with this very special friend. As for one night stands, never had one. I'm not opposed, It just never seemed to happen.

rm_kelli4u2dew 41F
5220 posts
5/10/2006 5:47 am

Well, as people have stated, everyone is different. I don't have a problem with recreational sex. I do my best to pick nice guys, and if it turns out that we have an emotional connection and want a repeat engagement, then all the better. If I could find a good friend that could also be a fuck buddy, that would be great.

But both times I've fallen in love, it was the way they treated me in bed that made me love them. And I stopped believing in my "soul mate" just like I stopped believing in the tooth fairy and santa claus.

Djeeper1987 47M

5/10/2006 6:30 am

Use to have a fuck buddy till she went and got married. As for one night stands, gosh that was sooooo long ago. Seeking that one nice buddy for now.

Carpe Diem

Fletch8491 50M

5/10/2006 6:32 am

I have had the one night stands before, but I prefer the fuck buddy. I am looking for a new one now. The one night stands do allow for you to blow that "head of steam", but are not always as fulfilling as you would hope. I think it is possible to have sex wthout emotions attached, but it is better with emotions, even if it is only a affection with someone, like a fuck buddy. A fuck buddy is someone that you connect with but in a deeply emotional way.

honeycomb1974 44M/43F
282 posts
5/10/2006 7:13 am

Well I had a fuck buddy, it was great for a while. Then emotions got in the way, and well now we have been happily married for 14 years. Honey

sillyperv 54M

5/10/2006 7:35 am

Never had a one night stand.
Never had a fuck buddy.


LustyTaurus 48M  
21253 posts
5/10/2006 7:43 am

Is drunk or stoned an emotion?...LOL


rm_lucky125125 47M
91 posts
5/10/2006 8:06 am

There is always emotions attached, at some level anyway don't you think. Isn't your ex all of the above in one? No you would not be wrong in wanting that, being able to do it is another matter Good luck thou.

Nightguy_1961 55M
4866 posts
5/10/2006 8:23 am

I've never had a so called 'fuck buddy'...not that I have anything against recreational sex...just never have been lucky enough for that, living in a small town like mine...too many repercussions to suit my taste.

But...if you're looking for applicants....

NG61...fading back into the shadows....

RedHotTrixie 33F

5/10/2006 8:29 am

To your first three questions, yes. To your last, no.

Whispersoftly5 52F
15176 posts
5/10/2006 8:43 am

Yes I've had a one night stand, a fuck buddy and have at times been able to leave emotion out of it. But that was a long time ago and I much prefer sex with somebody I care about and cherish.

No you would not be wrong to want that too. Just go with what feels comfortable and right for you sweetie!


LocumPampaSloth 46M
8 posts
5/10/2006 8:49 am

It is not wrong of you to want anything. We all have desires and wishes - we all carry dreams and fantasies. The question is if we are brave enough to make them happen. It doesn't make us better or worse - it just reflects what we really are. Some people will have no problem having a fb - some will. Some people can have sex with total strangers without involving emotions - others need to feel an emotional connection to even get turned on - others again start sex without emotions, but then develop the feelings along the way.

Personally, I have tried the fb, one night stand, ex-sex, etc. The sex it self of course is different as all women (and men) are different, and I am sure my own mood, desire, lust and connection was different in all situations too - however, for me sex with someone I care for is always best - not just for the sex itself, but also for the laughs, talk, breakfast, flirts, reminders, re-sex, etc. that followed. Sure the new-sex is exciting and great - but it does not compare to sex with someone how knows how to trigger you, and who you know how to drive insane.

-or maybe that is just how I feel. I guess it is as most other things; you won't know until you've tried it.

bardicman 50M

5/10/2006 9:42 am

I have never been able to have sex with no emotions involved. Sometimes I really wish I were capable of it. I don't think I ever will be capable though because in my mind, sex without emotion = sex without respect.

I am not dead yet

rm_zestforfun3 54M

5/10/2006 11:05 am

It is a complex question. It is based on you wanting to experience something that you want but are unable to get under your certain situation. There are many reasons for people go outside their attachement and they have to deal with the emotional side of things. It comes down to what you want at the end of the day. If your passionate side needs more, but your mental and emotional side is being cared for in your relationship, then it may be a way to save what you have.

rm_gorilla062 50M
232 posts
5/10/2006 11:07 am

In the past I have had that situation... that one girl that i knew would give it up so to speak... that one that knows all your buttons just right to make sure you have a good time or is always willing on short notice... many times they were a great friend as well.
No you are not wrong to want it.... and if you treat that person disrespectfully then it is a bad situation all around and wrong.. nothing wrong with a fuck buddy if that is the expectation and no one is abusing the other.

rm_moonboy23 36M
893 posts
5/10/2006 11:32 am

I have to say yes all questions except last one.
I had no string attach sex. When time passed I got in to string. It is very difficlt to stay with no string. May be it work for one night or all weekend with a one woman but if it continous, automatically you get attached with the woman and you start to listen to her.

fantasylover_05 62M

5/10/2006 12:30 pm


I have never had a fuck buddy.. meaningless sex or sex with someone I did not care about (not that they needed to be the love of my life but someone I care about) and I am not sure I ever could...

All that beings said... I most assuredly do fantasize about totally uninhibited sex with a near stranger... meaningless SEX... pure and simple LUSTFUL SEXXXXXX!!! LOL

Does that answer your question?

qship52 63M

5/10/2006 1:23 pm

Had one-night stands, but never a fuck buddy. Wanted one (or more) when I first got on AdultFriendFinder, but pretty quickly met someone I really liked, and things became emotional for both of us, though it took some time.

Closest thing I can think of to fuck buddies now are couples to swing with, on a repeated basis.

rm_Shortdogg65 51M
672 posts
5/10/2006 1:26 pm

How many encounters constitutes a fuck buddy? I've never had any one night stands, Like NG, i've never been that lucky. I don't believe I could engage in sexual activity without some form of emotion involved. That sort of sex sounds like nothing more than a physical workout. Shortdogg

MyRealLoverOne 46M

5/10/2006 1:35 pm

I don't believe in having sex....unless it is to procreate!!!

rm_Ptalk1155 34M
3450 posts
5/10/2006 1:52 pm

Closest thing to a fuck buddy I ever had was a best friend with benefits.

rm_saintlianna 45F
15466 posts
5/10/2006 2:35 pm

Did you ever notice your questions are either "easy" or "simple"? When are you going to make us write a two part thesis on "Fuck Buddies. Nature vs Nurture"?

Calmari71 45M
635 posts
5/10/2006 3:09 pm

All the women I have been with have had some kind of emotional bond that made it something beyond 'just sex'. Just seems to be the way things have worked out. Just never seemed to work out that way.

rm_ChiRugger 43M

5/10/2006 3:22 pm

Yes, I have had a fuck buddy, but had to end it because I began to get attached. I knew she wasn't right for me, and if I continued it would have led to a relationship that would have been harder to end.

Go ahead if you can find a good situation, but it never worked for me.

Yes, I've had one night stands, but never really seemed to fulfill anything that I couldn't have done with a porno and my own handy work. Not to mention the awkward coyote love that would occur if I spent the night.

I could understand how you might want that, because all the cool kids are doing it. I guess the first time you have a one nighter it is kinda exciting, but after that it's the same thing so go ahead and try it once.

Knot4Everyone 40F

5/10/2006 4:04 pm

I'm not a fan of one-night stands. Sure they can be exciting and fun, but they are also very empty. I would much prefer a consistent partner - be it fuck buddy or actual bf - so that we have a chance to learn what the other likes. I think the best sex is when there is emotion involved - it just feels different! At any rate, it's a personal preference and I wouldn't think less of you no matter what you chose!

digdug41 49M

5/10/2006 5:11 pm

I have been there where I had sex with females and that was it but after awhile I caught feelings so I donty do that no more I have had a fuck buddy and its the same thing there is no sex with out attachment in one way shape or form at least for me

roaming the cyber streets of blogland

firestarter665 42M/39F

5/10/2006 5:42 pm

I don't think that it is wrong to have a no strings attached relationship or a fuck buddy, or a booty call. But for me there are emotions that go along with sex. I like to know who is in the bedroom with me and know that we have a friendship as well as a sexual relationship.

But like I said, that's just me. And I would never judge anyone for doing what I don't.

smackyman 46M
3845 posts
5/10/2006 5:45 pm

I've had a few fuck buddies - but they've all has some type of emotional attachment involved. I have to know and care for someone before I sleep with them.

looker8770 46M
1 post
5/10/2006 6:16 pm

i think you have what im looking for outside the real world to be sane and passoinate..

jd29992z 54M
3888 posts
5/10/2006 7:14 pm

No I never had a fuck buddy I would not call that and emotion less encounter they would have to be a friend and that would be sharing with a friend that would be cool.

One night stands well some were fun some were weird I would rather have the sex buddy or a relationship.

Yes you an have great sex without the attachment you just need the right person and the ability to let loose of both people don't let loose and have a great time it is kind of uuuuuuuu!!!

It is not wrong to want this it is natural

See you JD

rm_chislut 42F
710 posts
5/10/2006 7:41 pm

have you ever had that one night stand...are you able to have sex without emotions attached...would I be so wrong as to want that to..?

I've had a fuck buddy. More than one. Never worked for me. One or the other of us would get uncomfortable with it. On the other hand, I *love* one night stands. The newness of it. The who really picked up and seduced who question. Love love love it. So, yes, I'm able to have sex without emotions, as traditionally meant in these kinds of scenarios. (Sex without *any* emotions would be rather dull and pointless, no?) But, emotions get in the way when I'm regularly having sex with someone, i.e. a fuck buddy.

It's not wrong to want it, but it's not wrong to NOT want it either.

JaniSux 44F

5/10/2006 8:36 pm

I may have run the gambit of all... I've had unplanned one-nighters, I've boyfriends (emotions & sex), I've had a 'friend w/benefits' and I've had the fuck buddy.

There have been times when I've had sex with a fuck buddy and once he's gone, or once I leave there.. I feel empty, I miss the emotional side of having a bfrnd and I love the kissing, and touching and hugging and holding that comes with having a bfrnd instead of someone who will just fuck me and go.

But other times when I'm sooo horny that I'm tempted to do things I would normally do... a few rounds with a fuck buddy sets me right.

I'm a moody emotional person who basically just wants it all... lol

FunFlirty4u 46F

5/10/2006 8:38 pm

I've had a fuck buddy but I got bored of that. I've had one night stands too but they were meaningless. Sex is possible without emotions attached but I think its better if you get to know the person first.

rm_mrskin96 67M

5/10/2006 8:53 pm

I have had "one night" stands....
I think an emotional tie of some kind is best.
Knowing the lady I'm with allows me intimate
knowledge and therefore a closer more personel

im_curious_4u 50M

5/10/2006 9:05 pm

I've only had single one night stand. During the deed it was great. Two minutes later I though why the hell did I do that with her. Lets just say alcohol was involved and I'll leave the rest up to the imagination.

I did have the beginnings of a fuck buddy a while ago but I fell for her. It ended right then. We got back together after a few months but we just have stayed friends. The only other fuck buddy I've had is own my hand. Oh ick TMI!!!

rm_Twister2bed 47M
617 posts
5/10/2006 9:26 pm

Hmm sex without interesting concept but it dosn't work for me. So the answer for me would be no.

demonblue4u 54M

5/10/2006 9:51 pm

No, I never had a fuck buddy. That's why I am here.
One nightstands, a few, some I wanted more and some I did not
My last relationship for me I had sex with her when I did not, basically she did not turn me on, and she could not get me off, I would go and go until I was sore. Basically I was having sex just to have sex.
In all cases there is some form of emotion involved. You like the person in some form. Physically, you like the inner person or something else. But each will not neccessarily make the sex rewarding, I have found out.
For me I have to be more attracted to the person physical looks than there personality or inner person, I learned the hard way that it is important for me, liking or loving the inner person is not enough to be satisfied. That's me, I think everyone is different though !

LiebeSpiele 39M
3 posts
5/10/2006 10:07 pm

I haven't really had a sex buddy, at least not for long. Been in a relationship and fucked another girl for a few times, thought it would be exciting and found out that...the sex was not as good as with my long time partner...and I was starting to get emotionally attached to the other girl.

It was exciting but didn't do me no good, didn't do my relationship no good. My partner never found out, and I'm afraid of telling her until the present day, but I learned from it and know that I don't want to do it anymore (the emotional disaster is big enough just for yourself).
By the way, the girl got emotionally attached as well, so I hurt her also.

The animal inside of everybody loves to fantasize, sometimes it's just better to keep it at fantasizing.
I still feel like I want to fuck around, but being in a relationship it isn't the right thing to do, and at the end a few hours of excitement even with the most beautiful girl in the world, is not worht as much as a real relationship.

rm_TNmbigshaft 39M

5/10/2006 10:37 pm

Have you ever had that fuck buddy, the one you call only for sex?

It was more like FWB (Friends w/ Benefits)

Have you ever had that one night stand?

Sure, many times

Are you able to have sex without emotions attached?

Yes but I must say I would have like to have been permanently attached to a few of them

Would I be so wrong as to want that to?

No it's not, as a matter of fact, you deserve to have that kind of fun, especially the way you look Ms. Sexy

rm_banquo6662 57M

5/11/2006 8:13 am

Just a quick note as heading out. Never had a fuck buddy but have had a one night stand. (not your typical male with lots of them).
just wanted to say from looking at your picture if you ever wanted a fuck buddy they would be queing for miles. But to have that little connection makes sex so much better. hats off to you babe.

SeductiveSnake1 64M
1 post
5/11/2006 5:34 pm

I have always dreamed of having the "Ultimate" sexual & sensual
encounter as many have dreamed of but when it just happens when you least expect it to, it is the most fulfilling pleasure that you could have realize and to think (I wasn't even going to comment) that you have the hottest blog(not to mention[profile too])
I would just love to love you for days not just hours! Nice Blog and hey sometime look me up and let's chat cuz we could be going somewhere together honey!

JoLeeS 40F

5/12/2006 12:20 am

Well, Amber... Actually... I am a bad girl... There is this 21 year old that used to call me...or I would call him.... He would come over... We would listen to music, talk for a bit, fuck and he or I would leave.... Every day for weeks... Same thing... Recently, he is calling 4 and 5 times a day, but I don't call him back.... I do not know what my prob is... It has been a long time since we have... But... MMM... He is so strong he could pick my ass up and do me on the wall...ha ha ha

rm_single25_dad 35M
7 posts
5/12/2006 8:04 pm

Yes, I have had a fuck buddy once. I ended up hurting her. I fevealed to her that I was having emotional feelings that I never new exsited. When she heard that, she started crying saying that it was just for sex. She said that she didn't know that her heart would be on the line, for she too had a hidden pation for me. She was not ready to committ herself to a guy. Not after what had happened with the last. That is my story. Since I put froth all of my passion towards intament relations, I could never keep it separate from just sex..I am not pleased until I please the woman to the fullest extent. sexualy and emotionaly.. For in a sence.. they are tied together

dreamkitty63 47F

5/14/2006 8:07 am

I have had relationships, i have also had one night stands and now i currently have a fuck buddy. I would have to say they all have something that draws me to them. From the relationship sex i get the closeness and the familiarity i need. The one night stands provided the newness and excitement i was looking for, most likely i was just drunk and horny, needing to go thru the motions. The fuck buddy, well i'd like to say there is no attatchment there, but there must be a reason i keep him around. Maybe the same reasons he keeps coming back? Which do i prefer? Well, like most everybody here i prefer to feel that the person sticking their dick in me is doing it because he likes me for one reason or another, not just because its there,ya know?

rm_tlaw781 39M

5/14/2006 8:23 am

Hey amber Im trying to get caught up on the blogs since i stumbled onto yours.
I'll be way down the list on most of these, so some of this, others have said, but I don't think it's wrong to want any of the things that come with a fuck buddy. Personally I've figured out that it was what I had built up in my head that I wanted not really what i got. Meaning- my first love and I were the hottest thing together I ever really knew and I thought I could find that every time I ever saw her again. We were 17 when we met and over the ten years since we'd see each other and sometimes hook up. Every now and again it would be hot all like it was so long ago. Then as the years progressed I had to dig deeper to find what it was I was looking for. Yes she did have the natural intensity and sensuality i always am looking for but we had no other connection. Truthfully she's a doctor but I can't talk to her about shit. She's closed minded negative and very judgemental so the sex is just that and at a diminished level. My point in that whole story is I need a deeper connection and I may think I want the quick hook up but with maturity I've learned it's like grabbing for a cheap beer when you really want a good bottle of cabernet sauvignon. Yeah you can catch a buzz but the aftertaste reminds you of the cheapness of the moment and leaves you unsatisfied. Ramble ramble..

rm_TandA44 72M

5/17/2006 2:16 pm

You've got to do what's comfortable for you. I do find though, that some of the most erotic experiences that I've had were spontaneous, and unscripted. If it would help, try to find someone who would enjoy talking to you on the phone where there is less to be embarassed about other than letting your hair down. You can always end the call if it isn't what you'd like. This may be a big step for you, but try it in small steps if that would make you feel comfortable. Part of the rush is that you're doing something naughty.

character612 44M
3 posts
5/18/2006 11:24 pm

lucky you....never had that kind of buddy....

1973GAL 44F

5/19/2006 5:20 am

Yes I had 2 regulars that I would contact if I needed a little extra something--although they went on their ways and found girlfriends and moved in with them--hence the reason I came back to AdultFriendFinder..I have become friends with my "fuck" buddies...Which makes the experience much more enticing! The more you get together, the better you know one another...

I have had one nite stands as well--meet at a hotel and fuck and then never speak again..sometimes that is fun, others times it is not what I want!

rm_sultrysax 53M

5/23/2006 6:52 am

hi, i am writing to u although i am a older man than u. It strikes me somewhat funny that a woman with your obvious beauty would be on here to begin with. At any rate u are and so am i. Q. Have u ever been with a older man? I know that i could take u places sexually thay u could only dream of. That u of course would have to take my word for. I could go on but at the risk of sounding redundant i shall refrain and ask u to write me if interested, if not i wish u good hunting. Thanx, R.

Mandragorin 39M
4 posts
5/27/2006 6:45 pm

Having sex without emotions is sensless. Sex is emotional; it's how emotional you allow it to get that is what matters. If all you are looking for is a fuck buddy then you still need to find someone who you feel comfortable with or it will be like being or you just wont have as good as a time as you would like. If you just want to release the sexual tension then just masturbate. But I have a feeling it is more with you. I believe that you need the emotional attachment. I believe where you are going wrong is when you feel that that emotional attachment means you must have a serious relationship with that person, but it doesn't have to be that way. Think about a woman friend whom you love very much, she's always there for you, you can tell her anything, etc., but you would never have sex with her. Ok now imagine if that woman was a man and on top of all that freindship you can even release your sexual tension with. It would be more than just having intercourse, it would be great sex, with someone you feel very comfortable around, whom you trust and love. But you can have this sex knowing that he is a freind not a lover and to want more out of the relationship would ruin what the relationship means at the time. Emotion is a good thing when having sex, so enjoy it to the fullest, and don't think any further than the emotions of the moment. And remember, having sex without emotion is like having sex with a total stranger, which is why when I meet someone for the fist time I make sure that we spend three days with eachother before getting intimate. This allows us to get to know eachother and allows the fourth day, the day of sex to be more sensitive, more sexual, more passionate. When both parties know right at the start that they won't be having sex until the fourth day it allows them to relax and open up more and have fun. By that fourth day the sex is great.
But hey, this may not be for you and you may just need a boyfriend, a lover, whom which you both have a strong sexual appitite. Either way make sure that you enjoy it to the fullest and you can't do that if it feel uncomfortable emotionally. Just some thoughts from a newbie of Adult FrienFinder. Sincerely, Mandragorin.

rm_mrskin96 67M

6/7/2006 11:59 am

Hmmmm...I think it all depends on the situation....Attraction can be a strong motive...It's difficult to have a sexual relationship with out emotions entering into it sooner or later....I have had one night stands...But that was a long time ago....It's too dangerous now and ....Yes...I think I would prefer an emotional tie....

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