Masterbation slang101  

amberabercrombie 37F
11929 posts
3/5/2006 9:01 pm

Last Read:
3/12/2006 11:50 am

Masterbation slang101

Y'all ever sit here, ready to blog and than, bang your train of thought is gone..? Suffice it to say im brain dead tonight, long night of watching Oscars can do that to one's mind, so instead of my usual rants, sexual fantasies, or whatever else it is I normally blog about...heres comes Masterbation101 slang for boys and girls! (or shall I say men and woman!)

For Women

· 3 point shot
· a night in with the girls
· auditioning the finger puppets
· beating around the bush
· brushing the beaver
· carpet bumping
· checking for squirrels
· clam bake for one
· creamin'
· coming into your own
· dialing the rotary phone
· dousing the digits
· drilling for oil
· engaging in safe sex
· fanning the fur
· feeding the bearded clam
· fingerpainting
· flickin' the bean
· flit your clit
· gagging the clam
· get a date with slick mittens
· get to know yourself
· going mining
· groping the grotto
· greasing your hips
· grissle rub
· gusset typing
· hitchhiking south
· let the fingers do the walkin'
· manual override
· muffin buffin'
· nulling the void
· paddling the pink canoe
· pampering the pussy
· parting the red sea
· pearl fishing
· pet the pussy cat
· polishing the pearl
· play poker
· playing with her pineapple
· pussy soccer
· riding the unicycle
· rolling the dough
· rubbin' the nubbin
· soaking the whisker biscuit
· spelunking
· spearing the bearded clam
· squeeze the peach
· strumming the banjo
· surfing the channel
· teasing the tuna taco
· the virgin's release
· tickling the taco
· tiptoe through the twolips
· toggling the bit
· tossing pink salad
· trolling the bermuda triangle
· two finger taco tango
· washing your fingers

For Men

· abusing yourself
· beating off
· feeding the ducks
· giving yourself a hand
· hanging out with Rosie Palmer and her 5 sisters
· jerking off
· making soup
· self-love
· slapping your meat
· spanking the monkey
· stroking it
· sturbing
· wanking
· wacking off
· answer the bone-a-phone
· batting practice
· beat off
· beating the bishop
· beating the dummy
· being your own best friend
· blow your load
· bludgeon the beefsteak
· butter your corn
· calling down for more mayo
· calling all cum
· changing your oil
· charm the cobra
· choaking charlie 'till he throws up
· choke your chicken
· clean the pipes
· couch hockey for one
· crank the shank
· cranking
· cuff the carrot
· cuffing the puppy
· custer's last stand
· devil's handshake
· diddle
· dishonorable discharge
· doodle your noodle
· do the dew
· drain the vein
· dropping stomach pancakes
· five against one
· five finger knuckle shuffle
· flute solo
· fondle the fig
· freeing willy
· getting to know yourself personally in the "biblical sense"
· ham shank
· hand job
· hands on training
· hand to gland combat
· hit the ham
· holding all the cards
· holding your sausage hostage
· jackin' the beanstalk
· jerk off
· jerkin' the gherkin
· launching the hand shuttle
· leakin' the main drain
· loping your mule
· making the bald guy puke
· manual override
· masonic secret self handshake
· massage your purple-headed warrior
· measuring for condoms
· meeting with Palmala Handerson
· oiling the pogo stick
· one handed clapping
· one man tug-o-war
· paddle the pickle
· playing with dick
· play the skin flute
· play the stand-up organ
· plunk your twanger
· polish the chrome dome
· popping the purple pimple
· pull the root
· pumping for pleasure
· punchin' the clown
· punch the porpoise
· ride the great white knuckler
· rolling the fleshy blunt
· seasonin' your meat
· slap boxing the one-eyed champ
· sloppy joe's last stand
· squeeze the cream from the flesh twinkie
· squeeze the weasle
· stroke your poker
· taking a shake break
· tenderize the meat
· tickle the elmo
· wank
· whip your dripper
· whipping the one-eyed wonder weasle
· whizzin' jizzim
· wiggling your worm
· winding the jack in the box
· wrestling the eel
· yank my doodle (it's a dandy)
· yank off

So what slang do you use??

ticktock500 43M

3/5/2006 10:51 pm

(i usually just rub one out)

intierzha 43M

3/5/2006 11:14 pm

rubbing one out... yep, thats about the one I think I would use. Well, if it makes you feel better I already ranted in my blog about the Oscars, and the irony of it is, the film I totally blasted (that would be 'Crash') won... perhaps one of the least deserving films in Oscar history... glad I didnt catch most of that self-serving slap me on the back look how powerful I am etc etc award show, lol. Whoops, sorry to rant in your blog space, I'll slide back over to mine


Green_Tea_Boy 49M
1064 posts
3/6/2006 2:32 am

I never masturbate... I prefer having someone else to do it for

aascrompn 42M
6444 posts
3/6/2006 11:05 am

I don't know why, but I've always loved wank... This is a damn long list!

oldude1946 70M

3/6/2006 4:50 pm

Damn Amber, I had to write all that down so I could remember it

rm_Crazyman1169 47M
28 posts
3/6/2006 5:59 pm

LOL....way too funny....way to go 'crombie, which do you use? Never new there were that many ways. I couldn't get those phrases out of my head today. Here's how my day was....I got to my office and the guys where preparing for the day. One guy was "changing the oil" in the truck, another was get material ready, while another was "cleaning the pipes" that we brought over yesterday. A new guy was starting so I thought to bring him along for some "hands on training". So we're on our way downtown, we hit the highway and see some girl "hitchhiking south". So I'm thinking this is too weird. The morning was fine, and it was time for lunch. There was this sandwich shop on the first floor of our building and I had the club. But like always they were short on mayonaise so I found myself "calling down for some more mayo". To top that, all the guys grabbed the coke, pepsi, ginger ale, and I was stuck with Mountain I had to "do the Dew"... It was a nice day so I ate outside across the street in the park. Much to my surprise as I looked around, I could see a guy "feeding the ducks", a girl "petting her pussy cat", and kids looking in trees "checking for squirrels"!!!!!! There was a basketball game going on and it looked like it was "five against one" but the one had a great "3 point shot". Now I'm thinking this is very weird, until some street performers came along. There was a clown "playing the stand up organ", a guy "juggling his balls" (added that one), a female clown "riding the unicycle" and a fat guy with a monkey on his shoulder, "winding the jack in the box". They were pretty good until the monkey started "punchin' the clown", then the fat guy would be "spanking the monkey"....Quite hilarious!!!.....Now the rest of the day went smooth, and at the end the new guy said he wasn't coming back. He said he kept doing things wrong and that he wasn't fit for this line of work. I told him to stop "abusing himself" and to "give himself a hand" because at least he tried, and one day he'll be "coming into his own".
On my way home I stoped for some groceries, I felt like "making soup" and having schitzel. I got some veal from the butcher and he told me to make sure I "tenderized my meat" and "seasoned my meat". Then he ran after some kid who was "hitting his ham". As I went to the checkout I passed the produce section where there was a woman "playing with her pineapple", and another "squeezing the peaches".
What a day. Now I'm going to stop "beating around the bush", and ask you, do you want to get together, or are you having "a night in with the girls" to have a little time to "get to know yourself".

LOL...LOL...LOL...hope you enjoyed!!!!!

rm_Crazyman1169 47M
28 posts
3/6/2006 9:43 pm

I thought you might like that one....

Blog with ya soon....


Allsleeky 35F

3/7/2006 8:01 am

teasing the tuna taco
What's your favorite?

rm_funkentjay 55M

3/11/2006 6:38 am

dang now you have my mind racingg I love them alll thanks amber love your blogg Kent

Kaliedascope61 41M
4084 posts
3/12/2006 2:03 am

muffin buffin! haha now i gotta new catch phrase...thanks!

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