Is it to soon...?  

amberabercrombie 37F
11929 posts
7/31/2006 10:30 am

Last Read:
9/11/2006 6:25 am

Is it to soon...?

This Friday I'm going on my first all nighter trip with a man in a good long time...I'm terrified....Normally I don’t do this kind of thing so fast in a relationship...Heck most of the time...Ok all the time... I don’t have sex till nearly 5-6 months into it...I really like this one and don’t want to make a big mistake like sleeping with him to soon...The closer it gets..The more timid I'm becoming about it....I told him when I said yes...Don’t expect me to have sex with you....He said ok...but I'm worried he’s thinking once he gets me up there the gloves are off....

I'm properly thinking to much about this aren’t I?...I imagine you don’t care to read about this either but I'm just...Oh hells bells I'm just being me and I need advice lol...I'm nervous...I'm antsy...I'm wondering what he’s thinking...Christ when did I time warp myself back into high school?....I cant seem to concentrate on anything today so I ask this....

How soon is to soon to sleep with someone in a relationship...When someone tells you there will be no sex involved will you try and pursue it anyways?....If I do perchance sleep with this man..Do I suddenly become a horrible person..?...Well...How soon it to soon?..


rm_ninja9273 43M
60 posts
7/31/2006 11:04 am

First of all girl..... relax! You're WAAAY overthinkin everything. Now I know you really like this guy! At least try and relax. If someone tells me no sex involved I'm cool with it. I never did pursue it but I am blind to women that give me signs for the go ahead. Just enjoy the time. If you do alter your plan... you're not a horrible person. As far as too soon... I'd go with after 3-4 months. But that's just me.


SlowPlayin 50M

7/31/2006 11:13 am

LOL ... you crack me up.


rm_saintlianna 45F
15466 posts
7/31/2006 11:44 am

Even if you did it the first time you met that would not make you a horrible person

You will know if its the right time or not, and if you feel comfortable with the situation then decide for yourself at that time.

As long as you guys know each other pretty well already it should be ok, unless hes only in it for the physical aspect in which case it really wouldnt matter how long you waited.

You will be okay, and have fun


bipolybabe 55F

7/31/2006 11:53 am

I think the right time to have sex together is when both people want to.

That means you need to feel ready for it and sure that your needs will be met, and I'm not just talking about your sexual needs.

Think about any experiences you've had where you were disappointed or upset before, during or after sex and then think about what you needed that you didn't get.

Then, I'd talk to this man about whether he is willing to provide what you need in order to avoid being upset about having sex. And then what would make me happy if it happened. You might also read the very specific example I gave in Getting to "Yes": Part One and Getting to "Yes": Part Two where I asked myself those same questions.

What I realized is that sometimes I'd be upset after having sex because I assumed a man would know that I'd want a call the next day or some sign that he thought of me. And I was setting myself up for upset by not telling him.

So, I've learned to be really, really, really honest about what I need and ask if the man is willing to provide it. If he is not willing to meet my needs, he's not worth my time.

Sometimes men will lie, but probably you're attracted to a nice guy who will tell you the truth about whether he cares enough to meet your needs or not.

Have fun & we'll hope to hear good news from you soon,

BPB

BPB

Check out my blog Bi-Poly-Babe for more sensual, sexual pleasure!


IviesBidesJuste 55M
3658 posts
7/31/2006 11:57 am

Reality check:

You're thinking way too much about it. Don't get a headache in the process.

If you're going somewhere with this guy, he's expecting sex. Bottom line.

How soon is too soon? Depends on the mutual chemistry. It's not uncommon having sex on a first date. Always happens to me, even if I try not to expect it.

Waiting 5-6 months? Hmmm, takes that long to figure out if you have mutual chemistry or not? Most women know in about 5 minutes?

By the way, while you're mentally debating with yourself "when to have sex" with someone, I can assure you that they are already out banging others while you are still making up your mind.

And yes, when he gets you up there, you'll have more than just the gloves off.

If I ever invite a woman to accompany me anywhere on a trip, I've already seen her naked. No exceptions.

Just being honest here.


rm_Benkai7 55M
2358 posts
7/31/2006 12:50 pm

Dear "amberabercrombie".

Take your time ... the time is right if you want to ... that´s all I can tell ... I keep my thumbs pressed, my fingers crossed and wish you all the best ... (take care, please ... smile)

Benkai7


rm_rover153 59M
2900 posts
7/31/2006 12:51 pm

[color blue} Every situation is different. You have to follow YOUR heart and do what is right for you. Sex on the first or second date leaves no lasting impression on me as to someone elses moral standards. Sex is also not something I need to feel close to someone, eventually yes but not a prerequisite to a relationship. I also think that sometimes kissing, cuddling, joking around.. just taliking over a weekend can give you a little more insight into whether you may want to "take things further". If he is a gentleman, and I am sure you hopefully have a little insight into his character by now, I don't think you will have any issues.

And, Oh Yeah, 1 more piece of advice. Keep the liquid inhibition remover to a minimum if at all. I don't think anyone has spread more legs than "Jose Cuervo".

XO

totally worn out and screaming
"WOO HOO what a ride!" Have a wonderful day!


goodatpoetry2 67M
13160 posts
7/31/2006 12:58 pm

You will know when you're ready.
Do NOT let him pressure you. If he does, then maybe he's just not right for you.
But after a few [a dozen?] dates, expect him to be more aggesive. But to wait 5 or 6 months, is cruel and unusual punishment.
Actually, after those first few dates, if you're not wanting him badly, maybe something is wrong anyway.


blueguy1051 60M

7/31/2006 1:00 pm

Personally, I think that two people should wait until they actually meet to have sex ... huh? oh, you have met ...

The time to have sex with him is when you want to. If you decide to or not this weekend, it's your decision. If he doesn't like your decision, or pressures you, that tells you a lot about him. I've lost count of the number of women I've slept with but never had sex with.

And no matter what you do, whether you're a terrible person or not is all in YOUR head. There's no one else you have to justify your behavior to. Certainly the way you treat people here is very nice.

But do try to have fun, ok?


T_A_B_75 42M

7/31/2006 1:27 pm

Most people who have commented are saying the exact same thing. Just go with the flow.

If I tell a girl I won't persue sex I don't. She would have to me to get it, but then again you can't the willing. Enjoy the trip, don't let your head get in the way.


rm_gergle775 51M
150 posts
7/31/2006 1:36 pm

Heck with him............... come hang with me........I'm & willing to wait until the woman is totally comfortable and ready!.............. just kidding about dropping a person that you found and really like... JUST BE SURE OF YOURSELF BEFORE TAKING A DIVE! BEST OF LUCK!


Dildo_replacemen 38M

7/31/2006 2:12 pm

Amber, it's really up to the couple how soon is too soon. If it happens naturally, it's not too soon - it's perfect timing. Don't force it or try and delay it, just let it happen. God - I'm one to talk - learn from my mistake(s) please!!!

Lets see, I went on a trip south with a girlfriend who I was very attracted to. I wasn't sure she felt the same way, so I never openly asked her - didn't want to ruin our friendship. We went as friends and I hoped for something more, but didn't let it happen naturally instead I stalled and stalled and stalled... Also didn't help that her mother kept on phoning me before the trip and saying, you better be a complete gentleman with my daughter! Well, after our trip we came clean - to my surprise we both felt the same way about each other... but neither of us did a thing because we didn't want to break the friendship if the other didn't feel the same way... and of course by the time we figured it out it was too late - she was living half way across the country!

Moral of the story - don't be an idiot like me! Let things flow naturally, be open and honest with each other and everything will work out perfectly.

Oh, and jump him the first chance you get - he'll thank you for it!


rm_KMStlmo 40M
1 post
7/31/2006 2:18 pm

From personal experience the "We won't have sex" is pretty much the I am going to try my best to get some approach, but it will still be up to you. Now if you show an opening, then I am sure that he'll be more than happy to enter. Sex on the first date is great! Well unless this is the girl your taking to meet you parents someday......then you might want to wait. Have fun, have sex, it sounds like this isn't the first date anyhow.
P.s. You look great!


fijiguy610 57M  
88 posts
7/31/2006 2:30 pm

If he truly is a gentleman he will respect your wishes to not jump into sex even on an over night-er. Believe me, he will be worth it if he does for those of us that have that level of respect for the woman we are with are the nice guys. So what if we finish last and don't always get the girl. We are the ones that will win her heart in the end - even if we are only her friend.

However, if the moment is right - go for it and don't feel guilty about it after. You know you deserve to be pampered and spoiled so let him treat you like the goddess you are.


40lovesetmatch 59M

7/31/2006 2:51 pm

I notice most of the post on this question are men. We rarely think with the big head. and we readily share the little head.

Passion is what revs the engine of sex. You can sit there and rev the engine all day and not get very far. You can use up a lot of energy in the process, but still be happy. Once you put things in gear and step on the accelerator, It is off to the races.

Good luck.


tadpudgy 56M

7/31/2006 3:06 pm

amber, count me among the "old-fashioned". If he is really a gentleman, he will extend you every courtesy, and accept the parameters you set. Remember, the hugs,kisses,cuddling, and simple things, can send the message of each others desires, and it is important to only go further if your soul is at peace about it. if you do sleep with him, don't over-analyze after the fact. I am a case study in what happens when you beat yourself too hard. Enjoy yourself and be true to yourself! HUG=GASMS!!


rm_smosmof2 67M
3240 posts
7/31/2006 3:09 pm

Unlike most of your audience, I don't think you're overthinking this... If you know what you're comfortable with, and you've been clear about what to expect during the trip, then all you can do now, once having already agreed to go, is stick to your gut feelings... If you change your mind, it's your perogative... although it's possible that by doing so you might catch him unprepared. If he pressures you, or disregards your feelings on the subject, well, you needed to find that out early, didn't you? (The consequences won't be pretty, but it is something you need to find out early.....)

If you change your mind, does that make you a "bad" (much less horrible) person? Of course not...merely human...

Part of me wants to insert a smartass "as long as you're not saving yourself for me" remark here, buts it's sufficiently clear that you're taking this very seriously that I won't.....


ChrisDL 47M

7/31/2006 3:23 pm

No you don't become a horrible person if you sleep with him - you'll still be the amber we all know and love

If it feels right for him, and it feels right for you, who the hell has any business in it anyway?


real36CgirlPA 38F

7/31/2006 3:41 pm

You're not overthinking it any more than anyone else does...

Go with what feels comfortable and take it from there. If you are worried about the possible consequences of having sex early on, see if he is willing to talk about it beforehand.

Good luck!


rm_devilsgrin69 51M
223 posts
7/31/2006 4:19 pm

Amber, only you will know when its the right time so, set your schedule to you and no one else.
The time limit is just a guide line, if your questioning yourself at that point then obviously you don't feel comfortable. Do what you feel is right and dam the critics.

have fun

BTW I doubt that you can ever be a horrible person


Wyldtyme2nite 45M/46F
853 posts
7/31/2006 4:30 pm

We are kinda in the same boat. We have met a couple and as much as they wanted us to go to there place we decided not to. They were respectful of that and we plan to see them again this weekend. Privately me and my wife have debated that did we turn them off by not having sex with them will we ever hear from them. If they contact us should we wait or have sex with them. We pretty much have settled on let nature takes it coarse. If the mood strike booth not one both them we might just go ahead and have fun with them. But yes here we are married and acting like a high schooler. Do they like us do they find us attractive. Overthinking definitely, but is it expected yes because we are human and we like to be liked. It helps our self esteem. So go have fun and if it happens it happens if it does not and he still keeps in touch you might have found someone who is more interested in you than just your body parts. Good Luck and pratice safe sex if it happens. I know duhh. But hey just in case. OOXX


IsThisBetter4u 106M

7/31/2006 4:35 pm

How soon is to soon to sleep with someone in a relationship...
Any time before you're damn good and ready is too soon.

When someone tells you there will be no sex involved will you try and pursue it anyways?....
Nope

If I do perchance sleep with this man..Do I suddenly become a horrible person..?...
Yes...you immediately become a sexually manipulating whore! Just kidding. Hell no again. You have the scruples to have waited longer than your body has wanted to for a while now. You've been on about this guy for some time. If it happens it happens, ya know. Go with whatever chemistry you feel at the time guilt free.

It's a good thing you like the guy so much cuz you're never gonna get rid of him after it finally happens.


rm_Ptalk1155 34M
3450 posts
7/31/2006 4:49 pm

Well me, I don't sleep with anyone until I'm sure I can handle waking up next to them later. Plus I'm a pretty insecure sort, so I need to trust that person implicitly before I'm going to start taking off my clothes and seeing whether or not I meet to their expectations as a lover.

The simple thing that makes this situation easier for you is that you get to decide if you have sex or not. Of course he's thinking about it and hoping beyond hope the trip will get him laid, but if he's a good guy, he'll be surpressing it and waiting for you. If he's a dick, he'll spend the whole time pressuring you and from what I understand that's a complete turn-off, so you won't have to worry about wanting to give in if his motivation is just sex. Either way, you're in control.

So, if you think you're ready to give him the best night of his life, go on and have fun. If not, you both have hands and fingers.


Intensity4U 52M  
7432 posts
7/31/2006 5:00 pm

Hey Amber I always forget your questions when I've read through comments and end up... not on the first page. Since I'm using Firefox as my browser, I could right-click on the '1' and re-open the first page in another tab and see what the questions were but I already have about 11 A.F.F. tabs open so should I just go with my heart and to answer what I thought your questions were or look at the comments above and... Do you think I'm over-analyzing?

Some of us are cursed with the need to think about everything and then we end up doing what we end up doing. BTW, I did have to go back to see what the questions were. Speaking for myself, if you said 'no sex', I would respect that. I might still try to charm your pants off, but I wouldn't force myself on you.

You'll be alright - analyze all you want and don't let anyone else's judgement affect you.

If you're gonna check out one of my posts not related to the never-ending (some would say never-beginning) story, try [post 441268].


IviesBidesJuste 55M
3658 posts
7/31/2006 5:14 pm

    Quoting rm_rover153:
    [color blue} Every situation is different. You have to follow YOUR heart and do what is right for you. Sex on the first or second date leaves no lasting impression on me as to someone elses moral standards. Sex is also not something I need to feel close to someone, eventually yes but not a prerequisite to a relationship. I also think that sometimes kissing, cuddling, joking around.. just taliking over a weekend can give you a little more insight into whether you may want to "take things further". If he is a gentleman, and I am sure you hopefully have a little insight into his character by now, I don't think you will have any issues.

    And, Oh Yeah, 1 more piece of advice. Keep the liquid inhibition remover to a minimum if at all. I don't think anyone has spread more legs than "Jose Cuervo".

    XO
Actually there is. Patron Silver and Yagermeister. Kamikaze's have made me a deignated driver.


im_curious_4u 50M

7/31/2006 6:00 pm

Do one of two things:
1) Ride this guy like your in the Calgary Stampede or
2) Be honest and tell him that you really like him and want to get to know him better. If he doesn't run away then he's probably a keeper. If he does run, well he was just looking for sex and he doesn't deserve you.


Djeeper1987 47M

7/31/2006 6:12 pm

You are too cute, I was laughing a bit. In a good way, and that being said. hehehehe
I think you are confortable with him, and its scares you a little since its early in the relationship. Since you told him no sex yet, and he did say ok. Then just go with the flow and have a good time.
If it does end up with sex, its not the end of the world. I don't think?
Good Luck and just remember. Be Safe!!

Carpe Diem


bustybettyboop 50F  
59325 posts
7/31/2006 6:13 pm

saintlianna said it all..she took my words right outta my mouth! when it feels right...you will know..don't overthink it..just relax and have fun and when its the time u will know! hugz,busty

..just join me on my blog bustybettyboop and still looking for some hot,sexy,creative contestants for my next contest...come join us! need a blog mentor or want to be one?


rm_dosrev 39M
2091 posts
7/31/2006 6:22 pm

How soon is to soon to sleep with someone in a relationship
I'd say wait at LEAST 15 minutes after meeting them.

When someone tells you there will be no sex involved will you try and pursue it anyways?
No.
I am a sexual person. I can not have a romantic relationship with someone that does not involve sex. This is who I am, and how I am. I don't feel bad about this in any way and if anyone thinks that is wrong, well, Im sure they aren't perfect either.

If I do perchance sleep with this man..Do I suddenly become a horrible person..?...Well...How soon it to soon?..
No.
Go with your gut, if you think you should, then you should. If it feels pressured or forced, don't.

Its that simple imo.

"Enough of this palaver, lets get the show on the road!"
"The best thing about a day like that is that it can't get any worse. It was a bad day AND a Monday. The rest of the week has to be better." - Hotandsteamygirl


tootsiedippin 53M/53F
1078 posts
7/31/2006 6:32 pm

Yup over thinking it...

If you told me no, fine. Has to both parties choice or three or....anyways bigger deal with me (us) is actually sleeping next to someone. It takes a huge amount of trust. Just ask mr Bobbit. So take it at the rate you feel comfortable. Hey everything has to be in synch if you ask me...

Dippin


Addy19742 43F

7/31/2006 7:36 pm

Sometimes the antcipation of it all can make you nervous of the unknown. You will do what is right and what you are comfortable with. Have Fun!


funintheday2006 56M
9659 posts
7/31/2006 8:28 pm

If it feels right fot YOU then its the right time. Not until. Does not matter if it is 5 minutes or 5 months into the 'relationship'.
Doing the things ou want to does not make youo a bad person if it harms no one. No real man would try it on if the signals were not on green and would back off immediately if he misinterpreted.
You kne all that though didn't you??


RocketMan_Len 52M
2325 posts
7/31/2006 8:29 pm

I don't think that there's a "set time" for when a relationship is to the point where you sleep together - it's when you're comfortable with it. You, and you alone, will know when you're ready to 'take the plunge'. (So to speak... )

But whatever you do - don't let him pressure you into it. If he's worth it, he'll respect your judgement and wait.


DoctorBooty 36M  
5822 posts
7/31/2006 9:40 pm

There is no set time. In my life the relationships that lasted longest were the ones that started out the way yours has though.

If a girl told me she was waiting until marriage, then she'd have to be dynamite or have stolen my heart somehow already for me to stay with her.


lustcurious42 56F

7/31/2006 9:42 pm

Oh shoot, maybe I need to re-think my sex on the first or second date, eh? To me, I'm human. I have needs. I fill them. Whatever feels right to you should be right for you. Don't beat yourself up.


BRONZEHALO 47M

7/31/2006 10:32 pm

Hi Amber, You're no more nervous than he is. Relax as much as you can and go with your instincts. That's why you have them. Noone but you can judge YOU. If it feels right, go for it! If you have doubts, wait till you're comfortable. If he doesn't care to wait, you already have your answer.

Bronzehalo 2007


jd29992z 54M
3888 posts
8/1/2006 12:06 am

Well it is right when it is right hmmmm dose that make any sence? Listen if you are not ready you are not ready, you are the captian of your own boat but if you are and you think it is right and he is right go for it. It is cool to be a little nervious and it is kind of fun too isn't it? Hehehehe! You are a fun person and you are smart to so just take it a little at a time. So have some fun girl and tell us how it went Later JD


tracy_de_lacy 105F
9268 posts
8/1/2006 12:52 am

STOP!!! You have to stop thinking of this in terms of time limits. The heart doesn't have time limits. You should have sex with him when your ready to. You don't have to wait past a certain time and you don't have to do it until your ready.

Lighten up on yourself girl and just go with the flow. I suspect this pre occupation of your as to when it should happen is spoiling a good relationship. It must be difficult for you to relax with all of this on your mind. I also suspect you could be thinking about sex more than he is. I think you are desperate to do this. Go on...if you want to...it won't make you any kind of bad person. I don't think he will judge you for it, he will just be as glad as you that the pressure is off.

Good luck and seriously ...enjoy that trip.


Bye everyone, it was a blast


TiffanyBarbie 28F

8/1/2006 5:18 am

Hi Amber. Love your blog!!! I try to make good choices in the men I see. In my thinking: do I like being with this guy? does he turn me on? would I sleep with him? If the first two questions bring a yes, then that is enough info to formulate the answer to the third question. I try not to overthink the situation with the person and I've never dated anyone with the exclusive rule that there will be no sex. I'm not going into the first date or second date with a serious frame of mind, very casual in fact. The sex is just a thing that comes naturally if there is the overwhelming desire for it.


UdderPuttyBiped 37M
102 posts
8/1/2006 5:33 am

Yeah, seriously, it sounds to me like you already really want to have sex with him, so why are you putting artificial constraints on yourself? Why torture yourself like that? Obviously your value as a person does not depend on how soon you have sex with someone, that's just silly.

No, worse than that it's a societal more of the puritan sort which is socialized in women in order to control their sexuality. Control your own sexuality, woman. You want sex? Go take it from him. Don't wait for him to make the move. Why not be the driver of your own destiny?


foghorn49 59M

8/1/2006 7:31 am

Take a deep breath and relax. Oh and have a great time.

Now for the question I don't think that there is a right amount of time to wait. I have waited to have sex for months with a woman and once we did, we realized there was nothing. I also sleep with a woman 20 minutes after we meet for the first time.(we did chat on line for a couple weeks first)and it turned out to be one of the most cherished relationships I have ever had. Basically I believe that there can never be a wrong time but you can miss the right time.


heavenlylove105 55F

8/1/2006 8:09 am

I understand what you are going through. I am very shy and it takes me months...before I even meet the man. But once I do....I either feel some sort of chemistry or I don't. If I do then I will meet him again, and yes I WANT sex. All (and I mean all) my relationships have been long term....so I don't think sex on the second date has had a negative effect on any of my relationships.

LUST is important in a relationship. I hope you feel LUST this weekend!


rm_KingEdain 46M
1848 posts
8/1/2006 10:01 am

Only you can decide when is the right time...... just becarful and don't end up in a situation where you end up getting .... would hate to hear about that. By the way...... i have started my own blogs and most of the time they are going to be funny as hell..... feel free to check them out.


boulderlooking 40M/40F

8/1/2006 11:34 am

relax... have fun and don't do anything you don't want to... the consequences for doing things you think you shouldn't do always seem icky


IviesBidesJuste 55M
3658 posts
8/1/2006 2:41 pm

    Quoting IviesBidesJuste:
    Reality check:

    You're thinking way too much about it. Don't get a headache in the process.

    If you're going somewhere with this guy, he's expecting sex. Bottom line.

    How soon is too soon? Depends on the mutual chemistry. It's not uncommon having sex on a first date. Always happens to me, even if I try not to expect it.

    Waiting 5-6 months? Hmmm, takes that long to figure out if you have mutual chemistry or not? Most women know in about 5 minutes?

    By the way, while you're mentally debating with yourself "when to have sex" with someone, I can assure you that they are already out banging others while you are still making up your mind.

    And yes, when he gets you up there, you'll have more than just the gloves off.

    If I ever invite a woman to accompany me anywhere on a trip, I've already seen her naked. No exceptions.

    Just being honest here.
Lots of good advice.

Quoting myself on this, because it gets down to absolute reason and logic rather than the emotional clutter.

The bottom line of it is, if you have to spend so much time thinking about it, then that is something in your head saying, "I'm not so sure about this". You have doubts. Without doubts, you would do this without worrying about it.

It doesn't matter whether he'll be a gentleman or not. It's what you think and do that matters the most.


HoopsPhymaUreal 41M
153 posts
8/1/2006 5:09 pm

The right time to have sex is....

What time is it now?


earthShiva 59M

8/1/2006 5:30 pm

Amber, Amber, Amber,

You darling, sweet, beautiful, insightful, adventurous Goddess, you!

Are you overthinking? Here, on the third page of comments, is a new answer - yes and no. Yes, you are overthinking the circumstances of this particular situation. On the other hand, you are one of the most read authors on this site. You dedicate an incredible amount of time considering issue surrounding sexuality, and it always takes your 5-6 months to make a decision to have sex? Pardon my saying so, but that sounds just a little off-kilter. The very fact that you posted this note shows that you are aware of the inconsistency.

I can see lots of reasons for your reticence - trust issues regarding men (globally), trust issues regarding men (individually, in your experience), social stigmas, a deep-seated underlying sense that sex is somehow unclean, a sense that somehow sex can interfere with intimacy. Then there are the global gender issues - when you do relationship with someone, do you surrender your identity to the relatinship? Do you sacrifice convenience or individuality in exchange for love? These issues are rampant in our culture, and, depending on the situation, none of them is completely baseless.

I agree wholeheartedly with the other commenters that you should wait until it is your time, but since the long courtship thing has been a consistent pattern, I'd suggest you do some introspection on why. Odds are the very same things that defer sexual connction are also the things that limit intimacy in relationship for you once that threshold has been crossed. If you can come to terms with those matters, then a more beautiful relationship undoubtedly awaits you - one that you are 100% entitled to simply for being who you are!


mysticdreamangel 61F
2759 posts
8/1/2006 9:08 pm

How soon is to soon to sleep with someone in a relationship...When someone tells you there will be no sex involved will you try and pursue it anyways?....If I do perchance sleep with this man..Do I suddenly become a horrible person..?...Well...How soon it to soon?..

Sweetie,

These are questions only you can answer...first, follow you gut, and then your heart. Whatever you choose...you will always remain a sweet person.

MDA


economickrisis 55M

8/1/2006 11:13 pm

Relax lass, yer too wound up. First off, blokes in that situation dont think at all. We only feel. Right now all he's feeling is HOPE. If you do the deed with him all he's going to feel is GRATITUDE. If he doesnt react that way, find a bloke like me who desnt think at all


hjblknyt 37M

8/2/2006 2:28 am

Hi Amber... You should do what feels right for you... You cant go wrong if it is what you want... If something goes astray after than you know it wasn't ment to be... cheers


somethingelse40 75M
14676 posts
8/2/2006 4:11 am

There are some things children cannot know, because once they learn them, they are no longer children. Some of the best things ever done to me were done with the worst of intentions. I offer the kind of intentions that only a nympho could understand. Hopefully I didn't wander too far off topic?


somethingelse40 75M
14676 posts
8/2/2006 4:13 am

Before I knew the best part of my life had cum, it had gone. Who will take care of business after I'm gone? Who will pimp the moon and synchronicity? Nothing sucks like a black hole!


somethingelse40 75M
14676 posts
8/2/2006 4:14 am

No time spent with a pussy on your lap can ever be considered totally wasted. Don't be afraid to apply pleasure.


cobra70118 105M

8/2/2006 10:50 am

Don't we usually know within the first 1.45 seconds if there is chemistry or not? Just go with the flow. I think *sometimes* the longer we wait the more anti-climatic and problematic it can become.
Stop thinking is right and just have fun.


rm_Shortdogg65 51M
672 posts
8/2/2006 5:24 pm

If both of you are completely comfortable with that much intimacy then it isn't too soon. Shortdogg


docdirk 47M

8/2/2006 8:26 pm

When someone tells you there will be no sex involved will you try and pursue it anyways

The hooker I paid $100 and let into my car assured me that there would be no sex involved. I still let her in... and paid her. She was right, but I still purseud it!!

Ah, Its you again, Your Angel Feathers and your Blood Stains...


4biddenlove4us 49F

8/3/2006 8:15 pm

If the chemistry is there, you will know what to do, just go with the flow darling!!
Enjoy


mysticdreamangel 61F
2759 posts
8/3/2006 8:45 pm

Again...may you have the time that dreams are made of!!!!!!!!!!!


GSV 53M

8/4/2006 2:29 am

I think you are worrying about this way too much. You told him what was expected and he said he understood so there should be no complications. If you are too worried about this, whay do you feel the way you do? Sounds like you do't trust him, which means you shouldn't go camping with him.

As far as too soon. That is up to the couple. You need to talk it out and decide what time is appropriate.

Love, Light, Laughter, Leave a Legacy,

Greg


earthShiva 59M

8/4/2006 6:34 am

    Quoting amberabercrombie:
    Shiva Shiva Shiva, why is it the heart jumps when someone showers you with such beautiful words? Your amazing you know, I love your replies and always look forward to the next.

    Your right alot of it stems from the past and I have to learn to just let go..

    hell in my new post (the packing list) I wagered a bet to see who thought id sleep with him to take the nerves off me alittle!

    Thank you as always, a pleasure!
I am glad we can touch each others' hearts, Amber, and, yes, I feel it every bit as much as you. All too often people insist on a heart connection leading to something else, instead of enjoying it for its own beauty- a beauty that we can share across time and space and without expectations, if we allow ourselves.

I would encourage you, rather than learning "to just let go", would be to learn "to embrace". Not someone else. but yourself. You are so in touch with your past pain, you have such insight into the things that are blocking you from your own joy. All you need to do now is to set aside your own self-judgment and understand that everything you have lived through has been perfect. It has brought you to exactly this point, ready to seize everything life has to offer. Just look at the following you have here if you need to appreciate what a wonderful gift you already are to the world!

Pain and pleasure are both inevitable, transitory experiences. Suffering is something we impose on ourselves through self-judgment. Set that aside, and joy awaits. Go get 'em, darling!


40lovesetmatch 59M

8/4/2006 2:23 pm

No, I am not a NASCAR fan. That combination of words just seemed to best express a controlled situation that can lead to a pleasant outcome.

James


xoHuneyxo 45F

8/12/2006 10:37 am

While you're asking for everyone's advice and/or input, the bottom line is: you have to be happy with yourself. You know this. We all have our own perspectives, morals, ideals. You do what damn well makes you happy and skip the rest. If it flows..flow. If you're not "feeling it" be honest with yourself and him. It will be okay. Take a deeep breath. A shot of tequilla. Be yourself and the rest will fall in place.


big_dick_in_u 50M
10 posts
9/10/2006 10:18 pm

you said you would go with him, so you and he and I know you are going to fuck him..........no doubt about it


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