Cheater!  

amberabercrombie 37F
11929 posts
4/30/2006 2:40 pm

Last Read:
7/1/2006 11:21 am

Cheater!

I'm ALWAYS curious as to what others would consider cheating.....

If you form a special bond with one or two or several people over the internet and decide to take it one step further by engaging in emotional... sexual stimulation as per way by conversation, is that cheating?

Its a debate that rages on and on from my blog to yours, from website to website..and I'm always amazed at the replies and answers people tend to dish out..love them... hell yea.. its always nice to see what frame of mind people are in and if I'm in that same mind set..

So my question to you... is carrying on over the internet by way of cyber stimulation a form of cheating?


im_your_man77 39M
961 posts
4/30/2006 4:09 pm

I can't say I have been involved in a relationship and talked to someone else over the computer so I don't know how I would react if I were to be in that situation or how I might react if I found a partner talking to someone else on the computer. I'm not the jealous type and I don't mind someone flirting but I suppose if there was an emotional attachment I might see it differently. Hard to say really. Next time ask an easier question


rm_kelli4u2dew 41F
5220 posts
4/30/2006 4:20 pm

Are you referring to cyber sex? I guess it depends on whether you feel guilty about it or it upsets your real life SO.

Why, have you been cheating on me again?!?


docdirk 47M

4/30/2006 4:57 pm

The only thing I know for sure is that when the relationship advances to the phone, my computer gets as jealous as hell!!!

Ah, Its you again, Your Angel Feathers and your Blood Stains...


demonblue4u 53M

4/30/2006 5:21 pm

I think it is an individual thing. For me no, only if they become emotionally attached to a curtain person. Even if it would advance to the point that they meet and had sex I do not think I would be too upset. First of all I do not own my partners. It is her body as long as she took steps to prevent from contracting STD. I am OK with it. Now my last partner did not see it that way and I respected here point of view. I felt controlled and a bit caged. I sustained as long as I could and excused myself from the relationship when I could not. It depends on how they where indoctrinated and experiences growing up. What is acceptable and what is not. We all are different and have differing point of views that part of life. I am a person who does not like others trying to dictate to me how I should think or believe.


SlowPlayin 50M

4/30/2006 5:23 pm

It's too hard to tell what's real and what's not on sites like this ... so my answer is no. If you've actually met someone and are dating or something ... let's say someone that you've met from here and one or the other person is still flirting and having sexual conversations with other people ... I can see how that could be considered cheating.

Just my opinion.


rm_KirkVW44m 54M
688 posts
4/30/2006 5:32 pm

Guess it depends on what you see as cheating. I figure as long as its an act of love its not cheating. Who said we were only allowed to have one lover in life anyways married or not. If i masturbate watching a porno to some chick while the wife is at work am I cheating? Thats more of a cheating event to me being that its done for lust instead of love..


rm_agathon1 46M

4/30/2006 6:23 pm

Alas, it is. If you are doing it with someone else, chances are you aren't doing it with the one you should be doing it with. That's an overgeneralization but I've seen enough of infidelity to attempt to universalize my impressions (prejudices?) and foist them upon you.


TriggerJinxed 38M

4/30/2006 6:40 pm

Depends on the people involved. Like me, for example, would not have any problem with a girlfriend cybering with another man. It's not cheating if they're just chatting. Although, I would have a problem with her camming for the guy. Showing, that is, not so much seeing. Because it's no different than her reading erotic literature... Or looking at porn, which is a hobby of mine...


honeycomb1974 44M/42F
282 posts
4/30/2006 6:53 pm

The view point my husband and I have is, as long as you don't lie about it or sneak behind the other ones back, then it is alright. It is the honesty and trust that has to be broken to be considered cheating. Honey and Runt


blueguy1051 60M

4/30/2006 7:48 pm

I think many people would consider cyber sex as "cheating". Of course, the boundaries are always drawn by each relationship.


bigthickbicho 42M

4/30/2006 8:08 pm

Well I think it would be cheating, due to the fact your thinking of another person on doing it.. by the way you ladies look great. mmmmmm


rm_anacortes 74M
2850 posts
4/30/2006 8:22 pm

I think it depends if your partner/s know what you are doing or not?

Hiding is lying...

Seems to me..


rm_chislut 42F
710 posts
4/30/2006 8:36 pm

I don't think it can be said that cyber is or is not cheating, definitively. It depends on the people in the relationship involved.

I was going to say that it's only cheating if your significant other thinks it is, but I like JVT's answer -- if you don't feel you could tell your partner about it, then, yes, it's cheating.

OTOH, if you're asking if each of us personally would consider it cheating -- no, I wouldn't. I'd be perfectly ok with my SO (if I had one) cybering. As long as he showed me the transcripts and/or told me about it... not because I'd need to know what he was up to, but because it would likely turn me on!


intierzha 43M

4/30/2006 9:31 pm

Cheating, like most things, is in the eye of the beholder. If a couple have a mutual agreement, or if all involved know about it, then no problem. If they are keeping something secret, that says too much about the relationship. True, we all have certain secrets, but one of this type is clearly not the best.

btw, glad to see you back.

C.


skeeter9955 35M

4/30/2006 10:24 pm

i personally wouldn't consider it cheating. my girlfriend, on the other hand, would consider my being a member of this site in any capacity cheating, eventhough i was a member before i met her.


Nightguy_1961 55M
4866 posts
4/30/2006 10:35 pm

I can see why some people could consider cybering cheating, especially if one partner is keeping it secret from the other...

My lady & I are open about everything we do, so I don't feel as if I'm cheating or if she is cheating...maybe we're just f*ckin' weird...

NG61


digdug41 49M

4/30/2006 10:53 pm

I have alot of conversations about sexual things but as far as thatcyber mastubation eh nah does nothing for me and if I am going to feel guilty about my conversations then I might as well pack it up

roaming the cyber streets of blogland


rm_LoyalCumpany 46M
3204 posts
4/30/2006 11:24 pm

Since you asked; Personally, I think if it involves any orgasm achieved with another person, whether live or over the phone/net, is cheating. If your partner doesn't know or approve, of course. Male or female, sex is sex... Black is white, cauliflower is good.. sorry, off subect.

Yes. Cybersex is still cheating.

I am JoJo the Circus Boy!


gypsy1629 41F

4/30/2006 11:41 pm

    Quoting TriggerJinxed:
    Depends on the people involved. Like me, for example, would not have any problem with a girlfriend cybering with another man. It's not cheating if they're just chatting. Although, I would have a problem with her camming for the guy. Showing, that is, not so much seeing. Because it's no different than her reading erotic literature... Or looking at porn, which is a hobby of mine...
This person said it all...I feel the same way...I would also add in, that I do not think watching a cam is cheating either....mind you I said watching not performing...Nothing wrong with some stimulation here and there whether it be from here or a mag.

gypsy


qship52 63M

4/30/2006 11:59 pm

If it's secret, it's cheating. Otherwise I think it's just a form of release. Kind of interactive porn. Is watching porn cheating?


n0tatalker 39M

5/1/2006 12:01 am

No its n0t unless she wants it to be, I mean, only if saying that it's cheating is g0nna get her to do it with me. ! mean we'aLL have our little quirks, and on this site that would be nuthin'. S0me people are into that funniness... ! think. Please excuse me if this comment comes up twice. In the first one I screwed up my totally subconcious secret hidden message... designed to urge you subliminally to have sex w! th me.


EverReady343 47M

5/1/2006 12:26 am

Why! are you feeling guilty Amber? depends on the sexual stimulation.
OOHH! I'd love to know who he/she is?


sexmanStrongss 32M
34 posts
5/1/2006 1:01 am

I am in Shanghai.I am a single man.22 years old collage student.good at sex.I want to have sex with you do you accept me?


rm_smosmof2 67M
3240 posts
5/1/2006 1:26 am

I would think that "cheating" would depend on what the agreement is to begin with. I will have to admit that I'm cheating on someone I know only through the internet because she asked me not to have certain kinds of relationships with other women over the internet, and I agreed and have then done so anyway. (Although not when she was available...)


mollen6 34M

5/1/2006 1:34 am

Depends on your feelings towards the one your "doing it" with


kitchenfun1234 44M
1797 posts
5/1/2006 3:22 am

I agree with mollen6
If you never physically meet someone the only way you could be "cheating" is in your head.
To me that is not cheating.
That said it might be wise to involve partners in a site like this so the conversations are not hidden.

Don't ever give up searching for the fun in life.


Fox4aKnight1 43F

5/1/2006 5:01 am

hugs gal welcome back .....just stopped by to say heloo


whats4dessert2 49M

5/1/2006 5:13 am

I'm of the belief that cheating isn't related to the act itself. It's simply the lie that goes with it. I know couples who are in relationships that are "open" and, as long as each of them are fully open with each other and honest about how they feel about an "encounter" before that encounter happens then they're both cool with it.

I can't say I'd be as secure in my relationship but I think that, ultimately, it's the dishonesty that is cheating and all the follow on coverups that go with that initial lie because, at the end of the day, the foundation of every relationship is trust.


rm_funinic 48M
823 posts
5/1/2006 5:58 am

I thought I had the first paragraph of Dessert's comment going, then after about five years "open" turned into "cheating" (she had been the adventurous one) when she let the extra interest affect our relationship.

That's my threshold, if it affects our relationship then we need to reexamine what's going on. Hiding it from each other is a sign of lack of trust, which is a bad thing. She had been hiding from me for many months, possibly years.

Next time around, I'll probably have a different attitude. Still in the middle of this breakup, it's not going to be clean. House, daughter...


BADBOYARISES 50M

5/1/2006 8:40 am

I've never considered sex among consenting adults cheating . Two people that commit to sharing a life with eachother is a commitment you make to live life together . Sex is not what makes a relationship between two people . It is human nature to want to have sex with people we are attracted to , so in this time in life , why shouldn't people be able to enjoy a good romp with someone they are attracted to.


rm_acer57 59M
124 posts
5/1/2006 9:31 am

... and to think that in the 'swing lifestyle' people complain of couples who send 'endless emails' instead of just getting in the car and meeting to have a romp!! It just depends on which end of the telescope you are looking through!

Like others have already said, it depends on what the understanding is between you and your partner. If an act, any act, deceives them and would hurt them, it's cheating.

Acer


NGs_lady 64F
762 posts
5/1/2006 9:48 am

I agree with Nightguy as long as you are open and truthfully with your partner it is not cheating.

Hugs

NGs_lady/Lady Stee


Westhill19 53M

5/1/2006 9:54 am

It is cheating if your partner is unaware of it.Still would not stop me doing it,sorry,lol.
Take it easy...
P.S.I'd ask you to bite me,hahahaha.


crazygurl2xx 56F

5/1/2006 12:33 pm

secrets are bad.
if you have to lie, you're with the wrong person.


reverend21 49M
1913 posts
5/1/2006 12:51 pm

it depends on where your heart is


caressmewell 53F

5/1/2006 1:28 pm

My husband knows that IM on and knows that I chat with both men and women. Most of the conversations that I have take place in front of him as most of the chat is not related to sex. Is that cheating...it's really in the eye of the beholder.


concretejock 38M

5/1/2006 3:47 pm

yeah, probably. if you're seriously committed to someone and it's in secret... yeah. cheating.


wakemeup31 42M

5/1/2006 5:21 pm

I figure if my ex can say that a blowjob isn't sex, then typing on a keyboard is even less innocent than that. The only thing that might make it a little suspect is the emotional attachment part. Is it cheating if I pleasure myself to a porno? Nope. If that was true, I've cheated on every woman I've ever dated (shame on me...). If reading something on your computer screen gets you off, there's only a slight difference between that and reading a romance novel that gets you hot and bothered - you have some knowledge of who wrote the words that are getting you excited.


Djeeper1987 47M

5/1/2006 10:40 pm

I don't know, I haven't gone that far yet. I will let you know....

Carpe Diem


alphuctup 40M

5/2/2006 3:01 am

Hmmmm there are lot's of if's n but's...I mean what if you only do cyber oral? The Governor of California says eating isn't cheating, so surely cyber eating isn't cheating lol...but on balance I'd say yes it is cheating, at the end of the day you're playing away.


DaveMan458 56M
12 posts
5/2/2006 4:31 am

My GF says cyber is only a conversation & not cheating. Good question though. I think it depends on each couples morals. I think if you have to do it behind your partners back then it is. But then that's just me.
LOL


Goodtimes4u72 44M

5/2/2006 12:07 pm

Some say cheating begins in the mind and goes to the body next. But everyone's definition of cheating isn't the same. So I would say when you're in a committed relationship and you both have said I want you as my steady, then when you start seeing someone else mentally and physically I think that might be called cheating. Anyway that's my view.


waerlookin4fun 50M/46F

5/2/2006 5:31 pm

If it's something you're keeping secret it's cheating. My husband knows exactly what I'm up to....after all he created the profile on here. And he loves reading what I chat about.


PineyFolks 58M/59F

5/3/2006 1:56 pm

The whole concept of cheating is being sneaky and being secret about it. Lying by omission is still lying. Now, if the mate knows about it and there isn't any secret meetings etc then no it wouldn't be. As long as they are both on the same page as to their relationship.

It's like a person being stopped by the police and running. They are guilty or they wouldn't have run. Simple i guess.

Neorn


closer2u1971 45M

5/3/2006 3:41 pm

To me no matter if it's with the mind or body, any (what your partner considers) lustful actions amongst your partner is considered cheating by me. It doesn't matter if you feel guilty or not, it's not you that determines this but your significant other.


alwaysopen1963 53F
9 posts
5/3/2006 7:30 pm

DEPENDS ON EACH INDIVIDUAL BELIEFS & MORALS.


sweethoneylips45 57F
1 post
5/3/2006 7:51 pm

I am married. We are on this site as a couple but he won't give me our password. I strongly suspect he is also listed as a single and is seeing people while I am working 40 hours a week. I enjoy our playtime with others, but when he plays as a single without me, behind my back, I consider that cheating. NEED YOUR ADVISE.


warmandsexy52 64M
13164 posts
5/5/2006 10:29 pm

Apply online the rules that you would have in non-cyber life. In relationships we don't own each other, but there are rules that apply the moment your friendship becomes explicitly sexual. However, it is important that the terms of the relationship are understood and agreed by both partners. To break such an agreement would be cheating.

warm xx


rm_single25_dad 35M
7 posts
5/12/2006 8:43 pm

Yes, it is cheating. Anything out of the relationship in wich you are involved right now, is cheating. Even if you hate the person you are with, you would still be cheating. wheather or not that bothers you is the real wuestion for everyone. Being single, I dont have to worry about that.


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