~Desires...thoughts and wants...~  

amberabercrombie 37F
11929 posts
4/17/2006 5:11 pm

Last Read:
5/16/2006 9:51 pm

~Desires...thoughts and wants...~

I often sit here and wonder if I'm going to walk down the isle...why? Who knows......

To be honest....I have my wedding day pictured in my head, the dress, the ring, the proposal..the wedding night .....you name it, Ive thought about it.......of course what I fantasize about is what you would call a little girls fairytale and in reality most of which I hope for would actually never really happen....men just arent as romantic as they use to be! ....... however, as juvenile as my thoughts may be its always nice to get carried away in this unrealistic dream and hope one day that white knight will show up on his Arabian horse and deliver..

I wonder if others wonder the same.... would you want a big wedding...a small wedding...or would you want to elope?... do both genders get swept away by this romantic, commercial notion of what a wedding day is suppose to be like or are these dreams and limitations only subject to womens thoughts and desires?

If youre a woman have you ever wondered what your ring, your proposal, your dress, your wedding day will be like...does that thought ever cross your mind?

If youre married, what was that day like...was it everything you had hoped for, did you think about what I'm thinking about?

If youre a man do these same thoughts ever cross your head ..do you look forward to your big day as many woman would? If your married, did you put a lot of thought into that day and that proposal?

I suppose it comes down to a gender question as many of my questions often do....do woman and men actually think, want, desire, hope for the same things for their wedding day? What do you often think about or consider when you hear the word *wedding*.


oldude1946 70M

4/17/2006 5:37 pm

I just get up the next morning and go home, if I don't have to put a bag over her head I'll stay for coffee


Djeeper1987 47M

4/17/2006 5:38 pm

Who what me worry? Sure I have though of it, but realizticly I get a little too scared of those large white weddings you ladies dream of. A bit much to me, then again it is romantic. If I ever get married, which I doubt....I would like just a quiet wedding with friends and family. Hopefully the woman I marry will feel the same.

Carpe Diem


m1903a3 59M

4/17/2006 6:05 pm

When Kitty and I were hitched, we were in a bit of a hurry, maybe afraid we might chicken out. But after a few years to think about it, we decided a proper ceremony with all the trimmings was preferred. So on our tenth anniversary, with the help of about a zillion friends, we did it right. Custom dress, tux, big honkin cake, the works. That was just perfect. If real love is there, not just lust, I strongly recommend going all out. It's worth it.


caressmewell 53F

4/17/2006 6:09 pm

My first trip down the aisle was very simple...less than $400.00 and that included what I wore (a nice skirt suit and pumps). My second marriage was the two of us and the JP. I didn't get the ring I wanted with either husband..a simple gold band with round diamond solitare in a Tiffany style setting. Once I am out of my current marriage I doubt that I will ever marry again...I'd rather live in sin.


reverend21 49M
1913 posts
4/17/2006 6:48 pm

When I was married I was very involved in helping her dream wedding come true, finding the perfect church, finding the restraint for the reception, I did at least half of everything, as this was the day she had dreamed would be a certain way, I was determined to ensure that if it wasn't the way she envisioned things, it was damned close. I asked for only one thing, the wedding night. Usually the wedding day is the most important thing for the bride, the wedding night is the grooms time. I know that may sound superficial, but the wedding night is just as mush a part of the wedding as the wedding day.


firestarter665 42M/39F

4/17/2006 7:13 pm

As someone who is married, yes it was everything I had dreamed of. The proposal was on a carriage ride through Central Park, New York. The wedding was about 110 people and it was something that suited us. Drinking, dancing and everyone having the time of thier lives. Our wedding is still talked about to this day. However, we were one of the 40% that did not have sex on our wedding night. But, the honeymoom in Florida sure made up for that!!!


docdirk 47M

4/17/2006 7:29 pm

First off, I must say that I am against marriage. I've never witnessed one that worked. It seems to turn perfectly happy people into raving lunatics, desperate to inflict as much pain and suffering unto the other as humanly possible... and then some.

Therefore, I highly doubt that I personally will ever add to those stats. But if I were to, It'd would be me, my future ex, the JP and whoever happens to be working in the office as the witness. The pomp and circumstance of weddings always has amused me. It seems to be layer upon layer of distraction ladled with an attitude of: "Gee, look how much we love each other, we just spent ourselves into a lifetime of debt, doesn't that prove it?"

Of course, I'm probably not the best resource for an objective opinion on the subject!

Ah, Its you again, Your Angel Feathers and your Blood Stains...


sassybelle21 32F
13313 posts
4/17/2006 7:40 pm

I don't think both men and women think, want, desire, hope for the same things for their wedding day. But when I hear the word wedding, I will start thinking about shining tiara, pretty gown, gorgeous ring, fresh roses and everything else. I am a dreamer


intierzha 43M

4/17/2006 7:44 pm

If marriage makes a person happy and it gives them power in life then I wish them the best. I found marriage was not for me and do not want to go down that road again. I think as a society we should be moving beyond marriage, but that I am sure is only a dissenting opinion. Like I said, if it makes you happy, then by all means, continue to marry

C.


rm_widget711 55M

4/17/2006 8:12 pm

Amber....

Interesting post. I think that your thoughts on marriage are right on. ALL women feel the same way in my opinion....(whether they admit it or not...)

I got married many moons ago, and as a guy, I'm afraid that my exceitement didn't even come close to my future wife's. And as I have seen my friends walk down the aisle also, it has always been the same.... The women obsess.... think about the smallest details... when in the long run they don't really mean that much. (This just a test as to how important they think the day is... God forbid the napkins don't match the drapes!) It's all a pile if you ask me....

Now... down to what's important....

Screw the napkins. The candlesticks. The cake. (Should it be vanilla or chocolate?) It doesn't matter....!

What matters is the person you are walking down the aisle with. Be secure in the knowledge that he can make you laugh when you are hurting. Smile when you are sad. Hot when you are indifferent. Passionate when you are apethetic. Someone who makes you crazy. Makes you feel alive. Makes you want to die. Just when you look into his eyes....

I was unfortunate long ago in two ways. First to undergo the hectic planning, obsessions and questions about a wedding that I didn't feel as passionate about. And two... The woman I walked down the aisle with was none of those things for me.

It took me many years to understand the importance of these words. And now that I am free to meet and seek out new people in my life, their importance resonates daily as I continue my search....

Wishing you luck in yours....
-best
Paul


rm_kelli4u2dew 41F
5220 posts
4/17/2006 8:13 pm

What do you often think about or consider when you hear the word *wedding*.
--------------------------------------------------------------
The intro to a horror movie.

He got down on his knee to propose in a fancy restaurant. The ring was a solid caret. The wedding cost about $50K, with several hundred guests, a cake 5 feet tall and a honeymoon in Paris. My gown had a train so long I couldn't even drag it. He bought me a new wardrobe at the finest boutiques. He carried me over the threshold to our new 12 room home.

Eight years later, the signing of the divorce decree was in my lawyer's office with her admin as witness.

My parents have been married for 38 years, and are still in love and happy as clams. Be very, very careful who you marry.


NGs_lady 64F
762 posts
4/17/2006 8:38 pm

All i can say is my wedding day was all i wanted it to be. Not big but i had all 3 of my favorite men there. Yes 3 my 2 sons and the man of my dreams. What else could a woman want?

Hugs and a special wish that you get all you want.
NGs_lady


MyRealLoverOne 46M

4/17/2006 9:07 pm

Well, I am a real softy romantic...shhhhhhhh. Although I have never been married...I was engaged and had a wedding planned. I proposed on New Years eve at midnight...at the Kennedy Center after watching a show and we were there to do some ballroom dancing to break in the new year....there were actually hundreds of people around us in the ballroom and I dropped to one knee and said a lot of mushy things and broke out a very nice ring...she was very surprised....it went off very well...we were also taken by limo and had a very nice lobster dinner at The Palm.

The wedding was planned for 300 with a formal sit-down meal. Anyway, I was really into it. It is a special day....go ahead and dream on and then make it a reality when the time comes.

RL~


rm_saintlianna 45F
15466 posts
4/17/2006 9:28 pm

I think of pretending I am going out running but really hopping on a bus to Vegas and possibly faking my own kidnapping. I may have commitment issues not sure, maybe I just need to be committed, period.


frangipanigal 44F
10406 posts
4/17/2006 9:29 pm

Yes, of course I have thought about it. I'd like a simple ceremony on the beach, bare feet, lovely simple dress and Frangis in my hair. Little Frangi would be my only attendant. Then off to eat,drink and be merry with family and friends, somewhere next to the ocean.

Don't know if it will ever happen, but hey, who said we can't dream.

Frangi x


JoLeeS 40F

4/17/2006 10:16 pm

Well.. My wedding was at a log cabin with 50 family and friends... "Our song" was I swear and we played it as I walked down the aisle.... Then we had a ddance after... It was a lot of fun and all for under 300.00 bucks..... I was so pregnant that they had to let out my dress 8 inches... It was fun, but not at all how I had dreamed it as a girl... My highschool history teacher was the one that married us... How funny as that?


qship52 63M

4/17/2006 10:37 pm

I don't know that I ever thought about a ceremony much, except to try to avoid a big one. Had a wedding at the JP's office.

I really don't think men think of weddings ANYTHING like how women do, if men think of them at all.


n0tatalker 39M

4/17/2006 11:15 pm

I have never really thought about what my wedding will be like, but I think about my bachelor party all the time!!!

Oh, If you want to see your wedding ring just ask baby?!?!

See you at the wedding, lover!


Nightguy_1961 55M
4866 posts
4/17/2006 11:20 pm

My wedding to my lady was a small affair...her two sons, my lady, me, and the clerk of the court. But it was special to us...that's what mattered most.

It does not matter the size of the ceremony, nor the number of people present, nor the amount of gifts...what matters is if love, true love is present. Love conquers all

NG61


rm_lust2u2 51M

4/18/2006 12:16 am

My first comment here, I hope you donæ„’ mind - great blog!

"I suppose it comes down to a gender question as many of my questions often do....".
Not necessarily... what about the culture, heredity and environment... doesnæ„’ these "areas" have any influence at all... or is love "blind" (perhaps it should be)?


sexloverocknroll 57M
415 posts
4/18/2006 5:46 am

If you can dream it, then you can make it come true. Some where, there is a man who will share in your dreams and desires, just as there is a woman who will share in mine. I have not found her yet, but I am still dreaming...


sillyperv 54M

4/18/2006 7:00 am

What's there to think about? Rent a tux. Show up. Sex in the evening. Women over analyze everything.


bardicman 50M

4/18/2006 8:31 am

I think of my check book in a casket...

Ok, when I hear the word wedding I see my self with some withered old lady sitting in a porch swing holding hands happy to be here growing old with her becuase the vows we took so many years ago are still alive in our heads and hearts.



I am not dead yet


rm_ptbobiboy 35M
14 posts
4/18/2006 10:56 am

I'm an only child who was raised by a single (Italian, Catholic)mother, so my feelings on the subject are completely irrelevant; I'll get guilted into a big wedding whether I want one or not.

That being said, I don't want a huge wedding, but I want it to be a real occasion. I'd love it outdoors, at a lakeside, with no more than 100 people or so.... There has to be live music at the reception, not a DJ. I want the reception to be a real bash; I want loud and obnoxious drunk people, I want ushers nailing bridesmaids, I want guests wearing swimsuits under their fancy duds so that they can go swimming in the lake. Maybe a spontaneous orgy will ensue; who knows?

I'd like the bulk of the expense to be in the honeymoon -- which would be in Venice if I have anything to say about it (which I probably won't).


EverReady343 47M

4/18/2006 11:04 am

Whats the women with the very nice ass bent over with her pussy hanging out got to do with a white wedding!
The white knight in shinning armour sweeps you off your feet.A big expensive diamond ring and a big white wedding and they live happily ever after.
Its just one day of manymanymanymanymanymanymanymanymanymnay more to come!
Don't get me wrong, I think the wedding day should be a special day but I don't think you need go overboard and have a royal wedding.
Spending too much money on a BIG wedding is a waste of money Even if you are wealthy. Too many end up in divorce these days anyway!
Its nice to dream and I hope your wedding day for you and your future hubby is a very romantic and wonderful day.
Ive been to expensive weddings that have had less atmosphere and feeling than lower budget weddings.
Big weddings are for people who like to prove how rich and powerful they are!( SNOBS - HYPE - HOLLYWOOD )
I would like to meet someone special to share my life with.If she wanted a wedding I would do everything in my power to make it special for her. WILL YOU MARRY ME XOXOXOX
GUYS CAN DREAM TOO YOU KNOW!!


muscles4u2have 54M
1642 posts
4/18/2006 11:06 am

I don't have an Arabian horse, do have a couple Quarter horses!! Will it be okay if I just ride up on a Quarter Horse, or do I have to go buy a damn Arab horse. I had one before and sold it faster than you could blink your eye!! To hiper!! Bucked me off several times!!

What was the question again?! Oh yea!! So I ride up on my Quarter horse and ride away with you!! Right?! No marriage though. Been there and done that!!

To answer your question: Elope, if I got married again. Not going through all the hyp!!


norprin5 55M

4/18/2006 5:07 pm

we had a 'big' church wedding... i said later to my new bride, "we should have eloped"

23 years later i have concluded that, should my marriage be over for whatever reason, i would not marry again...

King Nor XVIII


rm_kelli4u2dew 41F
5220 posts
4/18/2006 10:01 pm

    Quoting amberabercrombie:
    LOL...you know I was thinking of just marrying some random ass off the street anyways!
You know that's not what I meant. It may not be romantic, but you have to analyze the romance versus the long term life you might lead. Believe me, I would rather be boiled in sewer water than go through another divorce.

I have a checklist, absolute negatives - contact me and I'll share it.


frangipanigal 44F
10406 posts
4/18/2006 10:54 pm

I know plenty of women that say they have married an "ass" but I don't think just an ass will cut it.

You know what though, you cheered me up with your commment, so thanks.

Frangi xx


EverReady343 47M

4/19/2006 8:35 am

I'd love too!


n0tatalker 39M

4/19/2006 5:59 pm

why has the wire... lost my line,
every endless eternal last kiss,
does anyone dare lie, and say they've survived,
death himself would die from this,
inside i find my mind unwinds,
not really real this reality is,
greater worse will serve to reverse your curse, found it there it is!

"remember having memory, as i recall it didn't excist!"
"in an instant i'd choose insanity" "it's yours sir, I DO insist!"
"Now I welcome hell so gladily", "honey soon you'll get your wish!"
"Girl, I take Hades with vanity!","but first fifty more yearsa this"

I hope you like it!


rm_kelli4u2dew 41F
5220 posts
4/19/2006 8:51 pm

I can't find you, anywhere. I probably screwed up. Sorry.


dude0512 44M
1 post
4/21/2006 5:17 pm

well yep,sometimes guys do think about that special day, if only to make it special for the one they love. I got married when I was only 20,hmmm...way too young, big special church wedding but I wasnt ready!
Recently I was all too ready with a very beautiful lady but I worked way too much and waited too long and the moment was gone.So I would say if you feel that burning desire, see the fireworks and have that great soulful feelin every time you see your "one"..go for it and Im sure you'll enjoy the walk down the aisle and everything after.


Dildo_replacemen 38M

5/11/2006 9:37 pm

I've often thought/fantasized about what my wedding would be like, and I look forward to it. Weddings and commitment have never scared me.

I have numerious wedding ideas, some grand, some simple and sweet... I know most woman have planned their wedding from when they were first dressing up dolls or when they saw their first gown. For the love of my life I'd do anything to make that wedding day perfect and exactly the way she wants it! Yes, I'll give ideas (endless if asked), but I'll never impose or force mine. So for that very reason I've never stuck to one idea of what I want my wedding should be.


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