Tonights second contemplation....  

amb_lily 40F
371 posts
11/13/2005 6:38 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Tonights second contemplation....

n2yourfantasy has written a couple fantasies, I was quite harsh in my opinions with one of them…I think that it is just very hard for me to grasp the concept of a man freely giving a woman anything. I’ve not ever had that. Dinner, a drink, flowers though not too many times. Even now…dating…I find it difficult to LET a man purchase, pay for things. I think I’m beginning to understand why woman look for this…why they seek a “sugar daddy” so to speak. I had always thought the concept was quite degrading…but is it? I suppose it matters on what context the gift is given in.

Why is it that some men flaunt their money to attract women, some are gentlemen, while not flaunting it they insist on paying, and yet others despise having to spend a dime on a woman? Do you suppose its upbringing, experiences…maybe a combination of both?

Do you think that it is really wrong for a woman to expect or want a man spend money on her? My mother thinks that it is simply outrageous that I pay for myself when I go out. Generation gap? Or do I have yet another quirk?

justwanna2fuck 37M

11/13/2005 7:19 pm

amb_lily... I had this conversation with a younger guy the other day who insist on splitting the bill with a girl he takes out. I told him if you'd like to spend time with her that he should treat her the way a gentleman should treat a lady. you're not earning her love with money or fluanting your money to take away from something you lack. so why not pay for an evening.

If it turns in to more, than thats a woman that you'd be willing to give everything you have for her, not give it to her. If that makes sense.

1023 posts
11/13/2005 7:46 pm


Maybe it's a Minnesota thing, "If I freeze to death, I know I'll have the burial money!" People in my area don't think like that, we're gonna live for today and if something happens we just go for the no frills Viking burial. Maybe mine personally is attributed to what my dad always said, "You can't put a price on a good time." Though that was usually when I fu**ed up... like when I rolled my jeep or got jailed for street racing. Another good one was "A fool and his money will soon be departed... but think of all the fun that he has..."

It could be Southern Gentry... You know frogger1995 just had some knucklehead (probably more than one offered) pay for the next three months of her silver membership. If you wanted amb_lily, I'm certain you could get by with not having to pay on dates. Chivalry isn't dead... I'm sure it's not that the only chivalrous man alive is living in Va. Beach either... You can find you a sucker... I mean, a nice guy who is willing to go the extra mile to make your date special (like paying? crazy...). Do you think that maybe your insistance to pay for yourself from the start might turn the guy off or set a "going dutch" foundation?... I mean will you take ME out to dinner? TeeHee
Dudes that don't feel they should pay for anything are a combination of raised that way and just plain cheap. My neighbor from when I was growing up, used to show me how his family would take the last little pieces of soap and mash them all together making a big slimy soap ball. This guy has the best job ever at the local Ford plant, making bank, I mean. He married a girl he worked with and insisted she keep her job. They built a nice house which he worked on a lot himself, not because he's crafty, because he wasn't... at all. Great paying job and still rolls those soap balls. Cheap as the day is long and has more women than Mathusula had wives.

Weatherman says 72 degrees here tomorrow and it's probably my fault.

amb_lily 40F

11/13/2005 7:53 pm

First I'm not looking for someone to pay for everything....and yes I knew about that blogger, I just read it in fact...see now to me thats not right...thats more like selling yourself and I think it is degrading...but I bit my tounge and quickly moved on to the next post. I'm talking about a normal date. When someone offers to pay, I appreciate it, but its not expected. And for awhile it was hard to not insist that I pay as well.

Secondly, I'd take you out anytime...just make sure I'm home to recieve Fed Ex this time!

Thirdly....thanks soooo much for rubbing all of that 72 degrees in my face! We had snow today...God I miss florida!!

konkali 40F

11/14/2005 12:44 am

hehe.. nice post. I feel you there. But I'm learning that the men who take me out on occasion, actually want to pay for things, and I defer as a sign of respect to their gallantry. Its taken me a long time to appreciate this rare gift of gentlemen. I always make sure I can pay my way, and the way I had it explained to me by my last cohort was "I wanted to take you out, I saved the money to take you out, so dammit be gracious and appreciate the fact I think you're special enough to be worth my time and money". He didn't expect anything in return and was always quiet a lot of fun to be with.
I think it's a talent to learn how to be a lady and self sufficient all at once
Best o Luck!

amb_lily 40F

11/15/2005 2:33 pm

Thanks Konkali!

amb_lily 40F

11/15/2005 2:33 pm

So I have to admit I'm a bit suprised that there hasn't been a guy defending the "other side"?!

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