Mr Spammer....does it look like i have a penis?  

amb_lily 40F
371 posts
10/17/2005 8:12 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Mr Spammer....does it look like i have a penis?

Dear Mr./Ms. Spammer,

I can really tell how much you are concerned for my sexual well being; today alone you have provided me with over 1,000 informative emails.

But no matter how persistent you are…I just really don’t want to grow a penis at all. Now, I know I’m not super model material, and I’m not going to win the bikini contest next summer….but if I get one more “make it Biggg” emails from you, I may just be offended. Can't you send me boob enlargement ads, or ... I dunno...how bout "lose 20 lbs in an hour" pill ads....you send those to all my other woman friends.

Its not that I have anything against hard on's...not in the least...but I've really no need for it considering that I have no penis, I’ve included a picture as reference.

And the animated growing penis cartoon…. “Growing, Growing, Growing...Gone”....really gets me hot, but I just can't seem to find the time to watch it 30 times in one day with all the other emails you have you have so thoughtfully sent me.

If you wouldn’t mind…maybe you could find something that’s useful for me…. Do they make “add an extra hour to your day” pills? Oh! Oh! Oh!...How about “do it yourself” pills that I might purchase for my boss? Or possibly “Get your head out of your ass” pills, they might be useful for the moron that almost ran me off the road today, as well as the woman that forgot to purchase milk before she got to the check out and made me stand in line for an additional 10 minutes while she “just picked up a few other things” on her way back.

As a matter of fact, I might be in the market for some “did you even look” pills that will help my sons see their shoes sitting in front of the door that they put there just an hour ago that they can’t seem to find….you know what…send me some Prozac pills while your at it, I may need some very soon.

Well, I’m positive you’ll find something for me…oh, and by the way…

MayYou Alwaaaays BeBlesssssssED wiTH AHardOn!

Best Regards…really…. I mean that,

MISS Amb_lily (you did notice the MISS on that, right?)

P.S. Could you also let your friend know that you are going to give him your bank account number and then you will just wire me the million dollars? Thanks. Oh, and I used your email address for that free Applebee’s dinner, laptop computer, and plasma TV…no worries… you can thank me later.


LadyFantasy68 49F
126 posts
10/17/2005 9:29 pm

LOL Well written. Don't you just hate those constant spam emails. I get them too and on an email address that I have NEVER given out online anywhere.


amb_lily 40F

10/18/2005 2:45 pm

I'd like to kiss the person that thought of spam and bulk mail folders! I just thought it was hilarious that I keep getting products for men and absolutely none for women!

Thanks!
amb_lily


mn_guy_trying 41M

10/18/2005 6:21 pm

You nailed it. Just think though.... enough people actually fall for it in order to make it worthwhile!


amb_lily 40F

10/18/2005 7:54 pm

Scary isn't it!?


AmberSolaire 42M

10/19/2005 6:03 pm

Cant help thinking that Mr Spammer got of lightly and that you had a lot more devious tricks up your sleeve.Now why would that be.WEG......

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amb_lily 40F

10/23/2005 11:04 am

~talks sweetly~ I'm not sure Mr. Solaire...I'm just a sweet lil angel


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