Friends With Benefits  

alone2long2005 47M
29 posts
8/31/2006 3:13 pm

Last Read:
9/4/2006 4:40 pm

Friends With Benefits

I have noticed a recurring theme in many of the profiles on this site. Lots of women claiming they are looking for 'Friends With Benefits'. To a man such as myself, who isn't quite ready to settle into a committed, exclusive relationship, that should be music to my ears. But it seems that most are not really looking for that kind of relationship, despite what their profile may say.

How far can you trust your fellow AdultFriendFinder'ers? How can you be sure that the guy who says he's D/D free really won't leave critters running around in your bloodstream? How do you know the girl who's just looking for a cock isn't really looking to let you knock her up so she can snag 20% of your income for the next 18+ years?

Naivete has been a way of life for me, but if I am to travel this AdultFriendFinder road, I can no longer afford it. Monogamy may be "too cruel a rule" but it seems infinitely safer than risking everything for a 1-niter or even a longer-lasting 'Friends With Benefits' arrangment.

For those of you thinking condoms are the answer, think it over. They call condoms 'safe sex', but let's face facts: it really isn't. Want proof? OK... would you have sex with someone you knew was HIV positive if a condom was used? If you say yes, then you need to seek professional help coz there's a serious issue going on there. And if you say no, then you are admitting that condom sex is not 'safe' sex. 'Safe' sex comes in two forms: a) solitary masturbation and b) in a monogamous relationship where that pact is NEVER breached. Anything other than that is not truly 'safe' and if you think it is, you are kidding yourself.

This is not to endorse condom-less sex between virtual strangers, nor is it intended to guilt or scare anyone into monogamy against their will. This is simply an observation. Of course, there is FAR less risk involved when a condom is used over going bareback; I do not pretend there isn't. I merely object to the term 'safe' sex because it's a misrepresentation of the facts. A lie, in other words.

friendfind858 42M

8/31/2006 5:26 pm

that's like saying the more money you make the more bills you have... they are choice we all make and if thought through we all know the concenquinces... but by all means you make a good point... about the "little" lies people tell an their profile....that is why if you meet someone on here or in really life you should take the time to get to know them and/or enjoy them before you ENJOY them....

rm_PurryKitty2 48M/50F
9753 posts
8/31/2006 5:30 pm

You cant, you just gotta hope and cross your fingers you get lucky!

Purry {=}



8/31/2006 6:40 pm

I agree.

ifeelnlookyoung 51F

9/1/2006 1:28 am

That's quite a narrative, but it paid well having read it thoroughly. I am a woman, and my participation in AdultFriendFinder doesn't make me a better nor a lesser person. As far as FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS is concerned, whatever the reason is for getting together, one point to consider: "Why do you want to do it with this person?" Just a one-night stand? is it out of LUST? is it a case of "It's now or never"? or simply because you find the person too beautiful and irresistble that you don't wanna spend the rest of your life regretting you never "did it with her/him" when there was THAT chance to do so...

Whatever your reason is, it's your own decision. Make the most out of the experience. Just be careful that you don't end up hurting yourself or the other person, whether physically, emotionally, psychologically... it goes on and on.

rm_cockmerollme 45F
1223 posts
9/1/2006 3:49 am

When did Love become such a dirty word??...that's what this all comes down to..

a bunch of people that will risk their health to get laid, but won't put their hearts on the line.


Me included.


alone2long2005 replies on 9/1/2006 4:18 am:
I don't think it's so much that love is an undesirable outcome; but more that it is easier to protect yourself from the risks involved with an FWB relationship than by trying to build that perfect LTR that's going to stand the test of time. There is no condom for the heart, after all.

GhostWriter947 58F

9/1/2006 6:40 am

I agree. I think sometimes that AdultFriendFinder is like playing russian roulette. Really, you take a chance anywhere, whether it be in bars, at a party, etc. You really need to know someone and trust them before anything happens. I am no angel, but I am far from the devil, lol. I took a chance, although I am pretty careful, but it does make you think. In response to what cockmerollme said about love being a dirty word, I think that Love is not a dirty word, its only dirty if they say it and dont mean it. I am not into one nighters, and long term usually ends up short term, so I give up, lol.


NiceLady1957 61F

9/1/2006 5:49 pm

Yes, some bugs like the syphyllis can be in a long time and you not know it if you do not know the initial symptoms....and then there is HPV, chalmydia, GC, hepatitis, and I could go one.....I am a nurse and it amazes me the doctors and nurses who play in blood and gloves...and say oh well I will just wash my hands...hope your hands did not have any open cracks on them and I hope the patietns were 'clean'.

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