nightmares  

aldertate 49M
16 posts
6/20/2005 5:51 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

nightmares


I awoke from yet another nightmare. It's always the same. Things that I don't think about during the day creep into my dreams at night. Seeping slowly into my subconcious, manifesting themselves in dream form with an agonizing clarity. The residual after burn from lost love has yet to go away. The deeper the love the deeper the pain. It seems that this scar will always remain.
I remember the first time we kissed, in her car. My heart was racing and I couldn't believe how someone so beautiful could ever be with someone like me. It was a darkened parking lot, outside of a local eatery (Firehouse). We'd met there just a few scant hours before. Everything that night was magical. She was beautiful, her stunning smile with her full lips and a beautiful mane of red hair. Her eyes danced with a light that I'll never forget, they were simply stunning. Her laugh was infectious and sent waves of butterflies aloft in my stomach every time.
The warmth of her hands in mine, those were the special times. The endless fire. The passion was unbridled and true. It burned with an intensity I'd never experienced before.
Blocking out these memories doesn't work. They're etched too strongly into my memory. I see a beautiful woman and I think of her. I'd see a couple and think about how they compared to what he had. Why did she have to throw it all away? Feelings that were so stong are now lost in despair. I'm lost in a fog of pain and tears. Trying desperately, I've lost so many years. Where did our love go?

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