Putting Things Into Perspective  

akawarmwetone 56F  
507 posts
8/5/2006 10:42 pm

Last Read:
9/21/2006 7:01 pm

Putting Things Into Perspective

After a night out for dinner and drinks with friends, I sit here pondering why things happen. I have a pain inside of me that the more I talk/write the less it hurts. So again I will write about it.

I always have felt that things happen for a reason. Sometimes the reason is readily apparent - you think about a friend who hasn't closed your mind in a while and you decide to call. In chatting with him or her, you mind out about some matter going on with them that you can help with.

Other times, it takes a long time to figure out the reason. Sometimes one can never figure out a logical reason. Yesterday, I lost a good friend to cancer. He was 47 years old, married with three children. I ask myself why? He had worked hard his whole life only to have it cut short by something out of his control.

It is times like this that help to put things into perspective. I am not used to rejection. I have had to face it and figure out how to deal with it (which I have not done well with at all). With the death of my friend, I've realized that I have been putting too much energy into a situation that I cannot change. Even though my reasons for wanting to find out what went wrong are sincere (wanted to know so I can do everything within my power to ensure that it doesn't happen again), I need to let it go if the person I ask for assistance from chooses not to help.

Actions are motivated by feelings. Emotions put us in motion. I can choose how I respond to an emotion. I am the one in control. This feeling of being in control is empowering. Taking responsibility for my happiness is empowering.

I need to do better with managing my feelings. Why does it bother me? What are my beliefs? What are my needs? How can I meet them by myself?

At I look to the future, I need to keep some basic guidelines in mind.

1) Know my feelings
2) Express my feelings
3) Respect other's feelings
4) Avoid toxic people (invalidating, defensive, disrespecting, insecure, negative)

I need to remember that happiness is not just something one gets out of a relationship but also something one brings in.


gr8poet 67M
1 post
8/29/2006 1:42 pm

Perhaps feelings are nature's (God's?) way of making us feel.....well.......human....I had very recently lost a nephew who was 33 and married and had a small boy to a senseless accident that was meant to celebrate his and his wife's wedding anniversary, imagine the pain for her and their son!!!!!! but the thing is.... I have had the same injury-broken neck- and so many more as to almost be absurd that he is gone and I'm still here..... but after talking with my brother who is quite the religious dude these days, I realize that it's all part of 'the plan' for lack of a better phrase, and leave it at that......so it seems, everything happens for a reason, do we know what that reason is?? does it make any difference if we do? It is the belief of many that humans have free will. That everything we do we have a choice in. I believe that pretty much. Also that we have choices, but that instant the choices are made, then that's the way it was always meant to be. We can always second guess those choices, however, at the very moment we opted for them, it was the best one at the time, unless of course we all go around choosing the wrong things on purpose....... jeeze I hope not......lol One thing is for sure........the only thing constant is change........the universe is simply uni-verse....one...song....one song.....wold you care to join me in this one song.....to sing....to cheer....to laugh and dance....because after all...... I can make a fool of myself alone..... but what's the point in that..tsk tsk tsk..... hope to hear from you..Gr8poet

akawarmwetone 56F  
178 posts
8/29/2006 5:04 pm

Thanks for your kind words! You made my day



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