where are you on the list? (Answers at the end of the comments!)  

absolutelynormal 56F
6016 posts
6/23/2006 6:33 am

Last Read:
6/25/2006 7:36 am

where are you on the list? (Answers at the end of the comments!)

(This table is a broad simplification of Adler's theory. ) POSITION FAMILY SITUATION CHILD'S CHARACTERISTICS

ONLY Birth is a miracle. Parents have no previous experience. Retains 200% attention from both parents. May become rival of one parent. Can be over-protected and spoiled. Likes being the center of adult attention. Often has difficulty sharing with siblings and peers. Prefers adult company and uses adult language.

OLDEST Dethroned by next child. Has to learn to share. Parent expectations are usually very high. Often given resposnsibility and expected to set an example. May become authoritarian or strict. Feels power is his right. Can become helpful if encouraged. May turn to father after birth of next child.

SECOND He has a pacemaker. There is always someone ahead. Is more competitive, wants to overtake older child. May become a rebel or try to outdo everyone. Competition can deteriorate into rivalry.

MIDDLE Is "sandwiched" in. May feel squeezed out of a position of privilege and significance. May be even-tempered, "take it or leave it" attitude. May have trouble finding a place or become a fighter of injustice.

YOUNGEST Has many mothers and fathers. Older children try to educate him. Never dethroned. Wants to be bigger than the others. May have huge plans that never work out. Can stay the "baby." Frequently spoiled.

TWIN One is usually stronger or more active. Parents may see one as the older. Can have identity problems. Stronger one may become the leader.

"GHOST CHILD" Child born after the death of the first child may have a "ghost" in front of him. Mother may becime over-protective. Child may exploit mother's over-concern for his well-being, or he may rebel, and protest the feeling of being compared to an idealized memory.

ADOPTED CHILD Parents may be so thankful to have a child that they spoil him. They may try to compensate for the loss of his biological parents. Child may become very spoiled and demanding. Eventually, he may resent or idealize the biological parents.

ONLY BOY AMONG GIRLS Usually with women all the time, if father is away. May try to prove he is the man in the family, or become effeminate.

ONLY GIRL AMONG BOYS Older brothers may act as her protectors. Can become very feminine, or a tomboy and outdo the brothers. May try to please the father.

ALL BOYS If mother wanted a girl, can be dressed as a girl. Child may capitalize on assigned role or protest it vigorously.

ALL GIRLS May be dressed as a boy. Child may capitalize on assigned role or protest it vigorously.

norprin5 55M

6/23/2006 7:23 am

i'm the oldest...two younger brothers...yeh, there was a certain amount of pressure to set the example for them...

sadly (at least in my parents' eyes) i was always a bad example

King Nor XVIII

caressmewell 53F

6/23/2006 7:23 am

I am the oldest, followed by one 1 sibling, a brother.

pragmaticCTcpl 61M/50F

6/23/2006 7:27 am

I'm a combo package...a mixture of only and twin..I've always been so complicated..!

MaggiesWishes 60F

6/23/2006 7:31 am

There's only ONE of me
I musta broke something on the way out ...


warm huggies 2ya

rm_DarknStar 54F
2823 posts
6/23/2006 7:32 am


keithcancook 60M
17864 posts
6/23/2006 7:44 am


angelofmercy5 59F
17881 posts
6/23/2006 7:45 am

I'm the oldest. Followed by two sisters and then two brothers! I am married also to an oldest child who is followed by brother, sister, sister, and brother!

ShaneLiveLife 50M

6/23/2006 7:59 am

The oldest ......... and power is my right !

although my younger sister doesn't always understand this !

Live with passion !

Intensity4U 52M  
7432 posts
6/23/2006 9:01 am

As the second of two, I am a "SECOND" and a "YOUNGEST."
The characteristics of the SECOND don't fit at all - almost the opposite. I was more of a 'peacemaker' to my brother than he was a 'pacemaker' to me. He was the rebel so I tried to stay out of trouble but also knew that he had set the bar pretty high so what trouble I did cause wasn't going to be in the same ballpark as his.

The characteristics of the YOUNGEST fits only to a small degree - definitely not spoiled because of it.

rm_mmmgoodnova 106M/106F
1259 posts
6/23/2006 10:47 am

I'd say I have a healthy dose of both "second" and "youngest" characteristics. My older brother would definitely say I was spoiled, but I think I've done okay and made my own way in life.

Iwakura16Eyes 37F

6/23/2006 11:46 am

I was an only child... and everything, but the spoiling seems to fit. Sometimes I seek out attention, but most of the time I would rather not be noticed. I was also a "ghost" child... which explains a bit as well...


6/23/2006 11:54 am

oldest {=}

just a squirrel trying to get a nut

digdug41 49M

6/23/2006 12:13 pm

I 'm the oldest I've seen this somewhere beofre in treatment it was very fascinating to her the speaker talk about this thats what this made me think about very interesting post Mac. catchya later

roaming the cyber streets of blogland

chasingfun27 38M
1108 posts
6/23/2006 1:00 pm

I was a boy in a family of women. Thank god for middle child status with its "take it or leave it attitude" - I'd hate to have become effeminate!

rm_DaphneR 58F
7938 posts
6/23/2006 1:47 pm

Youngest of 4. Sister, brother, siste and me.

Have tongue, will use it. Repeatedly.

complexlysimple 34M

6/23/2006 6:02 pm

oldest of three boys ... though 'the only boy among girls' seems somewhat familiar ...more than I few times I've found myself being the only guy around ... kinda nice in away, not having to listen to all the ego and macho behaviour of being around guys....

ProtonicMan 48M

6/23/2006 6:33 pm

Great theory. None of it applies to me. Hmmph.


rm_chislut 42F
710 posts
6/23/2006 7:17 pm

Oldest of 2 girls. However, my younger sister usually fits exactly the description of oldest and I fit the one of youngest.

There's actually a theory I read once that explains why the two of us are "switched", but explaining it would be just a bit TMI.

RogueAgent000 50M

6/23/2006 9:21 pm

So...what if I'm the only child based on a second marriage where both "half" siblings are more than a generation older...?

docdirk 47M

6/23/2006 10:00 pm

I'm the youngest (of 2) and the definition really doesn't apply to me. Of course, they rarely do!

Ah, Its you again, Your Angel Feathers and your Blood Stains...

meerkittykat 42F

6/24/2006 1:54 am

Oldest, followed by a brother.

can you tell yet I am the prototypical oldest child?

absolutelynormal 56F
6563 posts
6/25/2006 7:34 am

OK, so here's the breakdown :

Oldest there are 8 of you here in this sampling.

Onlies There are 6 of you in this sampling.

Babies There are 5 of you in this sampling and last but not least..

Middles There are 3.

To get these figures, I combined the 2 blog postings that were very similar and averaged them. I rounded up so the numbers are slightly off of the originals.

I was wanting to see who was pervier.... the eldest children win by a landslide!

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