OK, I'm bored, what can I say?  

absolutelynormal 56F
6016 posts
4/21/2006 7:23 pm

Last Read:
4/25/2006 3:59 pm

OK, I'm bored, what can I say?


Some Yankee sent this to me

I am sick and tired of hearing about how dumb people are in the South, and we challenge any so-called smart Yankee to take this exam:

1. Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon tree that will support a 10-pound possum.

2. Which of these cars will rust out the quickest when placed on blocks in your front yard?

(A) '65 Ford Fairlane
( '86 Dodge Diplomat
(C) '80 Ford pickup.

3. If your uncle builds a still which operates at a capacity of 20 gallons of shine produced per hour, how many car radiators are required to condense the product?

4. A woodcutter has a chainsaw which operates at 2700 RPM. The density of the pine trees in the plot to be harvested is 470 per acre. The plot is 2.3 acres in size. The average tree diameter is 14 inches. How many Budweisers will be drunk before the trees are cut down?

5. A front porch is constructed of 2x8 pine on 24-inch centers with a field rock foundation. The span is 8 feet and the porch length is 16 feet. The porch floor is 1-inch rough sawn pine. When the porch collapses, how many dogs will be killed?

6. A man owns a house and 3.7 acres of land in a hollow with an average slope of 15%. The man has five children. Can each of his grown children place a mobile home on the man's land and still have enough property for their electric appliances to sit out front?

7. A 2-ton truck is overloaded and proceeding 900 yards down a steep slope on a secondary road at 45 MPH. The brakes fail. Given average traffic conditions on secondary roads, what is the probability that it will strike a vehicle with a muffler?

8. With a gene pool reduction of 7.5% per generation, how long will it take a town which has been bypassed by the Interstate to breed a country-western singer?

I betcha thought that there test was gonna be an easy one, didn't cha? It's okay if ya didn't do all that well. Just goes to show ya there's a hole heap of things that big city book learning don't prepare ya for in this life. As an added bonus for taking the "REDNECK MATH CHALLENGE", here's some southerly advice that may come in handy down the road a piece... Next time you are too drunk to drive, walk to the nearest pizza shop and place a delivery order. When they go to deliver it, catch a ride home with them.

rm_yukonpaul 51M
1120 posts
4/21/2006 7:52 pm

I must be a book-smart yankee, because I couldn't get any right. I was born and raised in northern Illinois.


absolutelynormal replies on 4/21/2006 7:54 pm:
Close to Marion?

rm_yukonpaul 51M
1120 posts
4/21/2006 8:05 pm

No, the town was Princeton. Population 7300. County seat of Bureau County. Exit 56 on I-80. Sixty miles north of Peoria, sixty miles south of Rockford.


in2matecouple 53M/48F

4/21/2006 9:16 pm

I would just like to applaude you on this one. I believe the comments made about the south is just due to the jealousy of the northerners!!!! you go girl!


absolutelynormal replies on 4/22/2006 3:50 pm:
, thanks for visiting my blog Mac

trillionman 55M

4/21/2006 9:25 pm

Good stuff Mac,Being a dumb inbred redneck from the south,I got all them there answers to yor questions rite,some of em r just comon cnoledge hear in da souf.


absolutelynormal replies on 4/22/2006 3:52 pm:
Thanks, cousin/brother/uncle/ T'man

ProtonicMan 47M

4/21/2006 9:39 pm

I'm still laughing about those.

TJ


absolutelynormal replies on 4/22/2006 3:53 pm:
Good! I like to make people laugh

digdug41 49M

4/22/2006 5:39 am

I guess I'm just a doofus coz I aint book smart either

roaming the cyber streets of blogland


absolutelynormal replies on 4/22/2006 3:54 pm:
You're hardly a doofus Digdug!! You're smart and sweet, Mac

jdocfunguy 50M

4/22/2006 8:10 am

I love the test! Absolutely hilarious. My regional intelligence test is a very simple one. Anytime the news reports of people digging out from a major snowfall (especially, an 'UNEXPECTED' one), where are these people usually located? I think that says a lot.


absolutelynormal replies on 4/22/2006 4:01 pm:
I think that the joke was so prepostirous that no one thought it could be true at all. I don't like it when people make fun of southerners, I also don't want friends from the north to be made fun of. While it does seem fair to do so because we are on the receiving end so much more than they are, it's not. Mac

Jeepidiot 42M

4/22/2006 4:27 pm

I found this refreshing considering my mood at the moment. I was unable to get Sweet Tea at a restaurant here in the South. WTF?!!


absolutelynormal replies on 4/22/2006 4:36 pm:
Obviously not owned by southerners! I put so much sugar in mine when I make it at home, it would put a diabetic into a coma!

Sorceror07 54M

4/23/2006 12:15 am

lets see... i was born in NYC (bronx) but raised in the south, lived in the south more than half of my life actually... currently living in MD the last 8 yrs so i'm back up north (bleh!) i wonder how will i do?

1. Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon tree that will support a 10-pound possum. easy... possums don't climb trees, (at least not where i came from)

2. Which of these cars will rust out the quickest when placed on blocks in your front yard?

(A) '65 Ford Fairlane
( '86 Dodge Diplomat
(C) '80 Ford pickup. ...the ford of course... yer supposed to be in a chevy pickup!
3. If your uncle builds a still which operates at a capacity of 20 gallons of shine produced per hour, how many car radiators are required to condense the product? hmmm, at 20 gallons per hour..that would takeone car radiator and a 100 foot garden hose.

4. A woodcutter has a chainsaw which operates at 2700 RPM. The density of the pine trees in the plot to be harvested is 470 per acre. The plot is 2.3 acres in size. The average tree diameter is 14 inches. How many Budweisers will be drunk before the trees are cut down? one 30pack per man there, chopping wood or not!

5. A front porch is constructed of 2x8 pine on 24-inch centers with a field rock foundation. The span is 8 feet and the porch length is 16 feet. The porch floor is 1-inch rough sawn pine. When the porch collapses, how many dogs will be killed? none, unless they are slow or dead already.

6. A man owns a house and 3.7 acres of land in a hollow with an average slope of 15%. The man has five children. Can each of his grown children place a mobile home on the man's land and still have enough property for their electric appliances to sit out front? yes, they call it a trailer park then.
7. A 2-ton truck is overloaded and proceeding 900 yards down a steep slope on a secondary road at 45 MPH. The brakes fail. Given average traffic conditions on secondary roads, what is the probability that it will strike a vehicle with a muffler? odds are not good.
8. With a gene pool reduction of 7.5% per generation, how long will it take a town which has been bypassed by the Interstate to breed a country-western singer? 5 years.

hey!!! perfect score eh?

btw... doesn't matter where from, dumb people are everywhere.... i think it's worse up north than down south too! lol!

...That which does not kill me merely pisses me off!...


wonderboy1956 59M

4/23/2006 5:27 am

1. Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon tree that will support a 10-pound possum. There are no 10 lb possums. If there were we would be talking fat farm material.

2. Which of these cars will rust out the quickest when placed on blocks in your front yard? None, I do not store cares in my front yard.

(A) '65 Ford Fairlane
( '86 Dodge Diplomat
(C) '80 Ford pickup.

3. If your uncle builds a still which operates at a capacity of 20 gallons of shine produced per hour, how many car radiators are required to condense the product? If I had an uncle he would be distilling the good stuff. For that one uses coiled copper tubeing to
condense the alcohol. Only a hill jack from west virginia would use a radiator.

4. A woodcutter has a chainsaw which operates at 2700 RPM. The density of the pine trees in the plot to be harvested is 470 per acre. The plot is 2.3 acres in size. The average tree diameter is 14 inches. How many Budweisers will be drunk before the trees are cut down? None, I don't drink. If I did it would still be none as I would drink Icehouse beer.

5. A front porch is constructed of 2x8 pine on 24-inch centers with a field rock foundation. The span is 8 feet and the porch length is 16 feet. The porch floor is 1-inch rough sawn pine. When the porch collapses, how many dogs will be killed? This must be wierd carpentry. When do I break my leg when I step through the gaps.

6. A man owns a house and 3.7 acres of land in a hollow with an average slope of 15%. The man has five children. Can each of his grown children place a mobile home on the man's land and still have enough property for their electric appliances to sit out front? They can try it but I think what ever is out front will roll down the hill.

7. A 2-ton truck is overloaded and proceeding 900 yards down a steep slope on a secondary road at 45 MPH. The brakes fail. Given average traffic conditions on secondary roads, what is the probability that it will strike a vehicle with a muffler? If it does strike a car 100%, That eventuality is slim to none.

8. With a gene pool reduction of 7.5% per generation, how long will it take a town which has been bypassed by the Interstate to breed a country-western singer? Considering all Country Western singers are genetically challanged emmediately.

Take that Green Eyes!


Become a member to create a blog