What Would You Do?  

aascrompn 42M
6957 posts
5/29/2006 6:34 am

Last Read:
10/18/2006 7:21 am

What Would You Do?

About one week ago, I went through something that is VERY hard to explain, and even worse, VERY hard to admit.

My best friend (a female) and I hang out, in some form or fashion, about 7 days a week. She's off on Sundays and Mondays. So, I usually go house hunting with her on Sundays. On Mondays, I usually go over to she and her boyfriends house for dinner and a few drinks.

Last Monday, I was over to her house for dinner. As I sat there having a couple of drinks, I caught myself checking her our. I caught myself not listening to a damn thing she had to say and was caught up in my own world and trying to picture things, as she was rattling on about something. I still can't remember half of the conversation.

I think what is happening has a lot to do with her going through issues with her boyfriend. I think it's because I'm single. I think that I realize just how much we really get along. We have the ability to yell at each other and pick right back up the next day understanding each other. She understands and knows everything about me. Although she gets pissed at me, she is forgiving. I think these are the reasons why I fumbled onto this thinking of her. I think that it's a convenience thing. We are so close, we are looking for houses in the same community to ensure we live next to each other. We joke that this way, we wouldn't have to drink and drive to party.

This actually scared me. I don't know why I got freaked out by this, but I think that I'm scared to even think of this for fear of ruining an amazing best friend relationship. She is not my type physically. She is a completely independent woman. We would do nothing but smash heads together.

Thankfully, things with my Divergent One distracted me away from thinking of her. I no longer am thinking these things, but why did I in the first place? The reason why I'm even blogging about it, is b/c she asked me to pick her up tonight from the airport, as she's coming back in from her vacation.

Has this every happened to any of you? What did you do about it? Did it ruin anything if you ever admited it?

rm_PurryKitty2 48M/49F
9753 posts
5/29/2006 6:47 am

Please take my advice, dont act upon it! I lost my best friend because of this and haven't seen him since I was 19 years old.

Purry {=}


saddletrampsk 54F

5/29/2006 7:18 am

Not sure what advise to give..but if she is not your type you might be best not to act on those feelings as Purry says..you could lose a friendship over it..

caressmewell 53F

5/29/2006 8:03 am

Don't do it...

TabithaElectra79 37F

5/29/2006 8:20 am

Tis a toughie, because some great relationships come out of friendships, but only if it seems 100% certain that feelings are reciprocated and it is going to be a long term thing too, otherwise, it's a negative, no.

rm_1hotwahine 62F
21091 posts
5/29/2006 10:36 am

How honestly can we be in response to this?

Yeah, I'm still [blog 1hotwahine]

rm_1hotwahine 62F
21091 posts
5/29/2006 10:37 am

On a scale of 1 to 10, how much honesty can you handle, in a response to this post?

Yeah, I'm still [blog 1hotwahine]

pretzel_logic2 40M
31 posts
5/29/2006 11:14 am

This did happen to me. I acted on what I was thinking and worked hard at convincing her to go along with it. Used some shitty excuse as fate or something and thought that our friendship was strong enough to handle it. I was wrong. If you value her as a friend, don't risk that.

alphuctup 40M

5/30/2006 1:07 am

Don't do it man, I did once and it was a big mistake.

SweetDarlinAngel 39F
2996 posts
5/30/2006 9:06 am

Well it looks like the votes are in Aas ...
I was going to give my opinion but I am so far outnumbered here, I dont think you'd listen to me if I did. But for what it's worth...

My best friend and I were friends for 2 years, always together, always close. Saw me through SOOOO many relationships nad saw him through just 1 really serious one. Then my mind started to do exactly what your is doing. Everytime I dated someone I compared them to him. Finally, he asked me. What is going on? Why are not giving these guys a chance? I tried to hem and haw an explanation but because we were so close he saw right through it. I broke down and told him about the thoughts I was having. I told him I didn't see myself with him because we were friends but I couldn't stop thinking about him like that. I even found myself fantasizing about him, sometimes when I was with another guy intimately. He said he was flattered and at first he didn't know what to say. He had been thinking about marrying his girlfriend and my admission couldn't have come at a worse time.

Long story short, he asked me to "give him a day". I did that. It was the first time in a long time that we were apart for 24 entire hours without a whole lot of planning first. And when he called me, he said that our friendship was very valuable to him, that he loved me more than any other woman in his life and that if he were to ever marry someone, he would rather it be his best friend than a girlfriend he adored. We were married a year later. Granted our marriage didn't work out, but we are still best friends and we have two beautiful children together. My family caused a lot of problems in our relationship and caused us to split up. I'm not saying that your situation would end as nicely, but ... we were and still are the best of friends even after being married for 5 years.

Good luck to you with this one, and all of the things in life seem to come right when you don't really feel prepared for them.



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