Trust  

aascrompn 42M
6957 posts
3/21/2006 9:54 pm

Last Read:
10/18/2006 6:41 am

Trust


Have you ever said or done anything to where you know that you've blown some sort of trust??

I was speaking, over IM last night, w/ my New One. I don't really know why, other than I'm infatuated w/ Her, that I told Her that I really just wish that I could hold Her. As a guy that has been studying pick up artist material for the last two years, I understand the consequences of such statements. I understand that this is the fastest way to scare a girl off! Did I do that? I think I came close... You see, this beautiful girl has been involved in a realtionship for an increbible amount of time. It's been so long that there is nothing that I could ever do to compete with that relationship. I could never try to...

This girl, for whatever reason, means a LOT to me. With that being said, I need to be prepared for Her leaning on me, hating me, pushing me away, everything... Will She? I doubt it! I think that I'm just another guy that's hitting on her. I think that we have a bond that is still considered uncanny, but I can assure you that it's not what I'm wishing that it would be. Do I love Her? No, not yet. Could I love Her? There is zero question in my mind that I could.

Why would I consider loving this girl? I will tell you that I've thought about this extensively... This girl and I have absolutely nothing in common but one thing... She is into a lifestyle of which I know NOTHING about. She lives in a city of which I know NOTHING about. She lives a life of which i know very little about. Why then? Why the interest in Her, Mike? I have zero idea. I would love to laugh at myself. I tried as hard as I could to avoid Her tonight. Thankfully, I didn't have to stay out too late tonight to avoid Her. I want to give Her space. I want Her to avoid me. I want Her to resolve the problems that She currently has w/ her boyfriend out. I want for Her to be happy. Why the attraction? She has more of a commitment to an individual, that She is in a dispute with, than anybody that I've ever seen. I can tell that She loves him. I can tell that She needs him. She needs him... I can't provide Her that. For those of you new to my blog, please go back to review the qualities that attract me to Her. I don't want to bore my regular readers... I don't want to have to stress how much I enjoy how smart She is, how beautiful She is, how much of a heart She has, etc.

I have a problem. I, unfortunately, when I get caught up in somebody, reveal my feelings. Is all of this preliminary? Yes! This is the exact problem... I feel like I've known Her for years. Do I know Her? No! She told me, today, to quit thinking when I deal w/ Her. She told me to just enjoy the feeling that I get... I can't do that! I can't get Her out of my mind! It fucking kills me! I know that I'm not what She needs, not what She wants. I KNOW that I can't compare to what She's used to! I just can't explain any of this and it kills me... Why? Why is this going to come around to bite me in the ass? It just will... That's what happens to me. This is what I'm used to. She's too sweet for my games. She's too smart for my games... She's too perfect for my insecurities. It will never work.

I really understand how much I blew it last night. I understand that I scared her. I understand that I was out of place. Do you know the beautiful thing? I was completely sober, for once. I absolutely meant everthing that I said to her. I meant it! This, my friends, will only carry you so far...

I blew it! I am completely infatuated with Her. I do believe that She's interested, but I also know what my limits are. I know that She can't like me right now... Sigh

I'm sorry, but I had to vent.

Mike

caressmewell 53F

3/21/2006 10:39 pm

Breathe!!


elbman 41M  
2566 posts
3/22/2006 1:44 am

You have regular readers?

I'll make you a deal....just be yourself, say what comes to mind, and one day you'll come across the person that wants to hear what you say when you say it.

UNTIL THEN STOP LOOKING FOR IT.


aascrompn replies on 3/23/2006 10:58 am:
I have two regular readers... lol

I've always been the proactive type...

HBowt2 59F

3/22/2006 1:48 am

I do so hate repeating myself.....take it easy...let it happen...stop pushing......


aascrompn replies on 3/23/2006 10:58 am:
I do too, and I'm sorry that I keep making you do it...

rm_JohnMacLaine 50M
585 posts
3/22/2006 3:16 am

sloooooow down there sparky, its early, she obviously considers you a friend, she is looking for some kind of support. Be there for what she needs you for at this point. Breathe in....breathe out..

now....

got any mentos?....

John

"I can retain neither respect or affection for a government which has been moving from wrong to wrong in order to defend its own immorality" Mahatma Ghandi


aascrompn replies on 3/23/2006 10:59 am:
I've got life savers... will that work?

Yes, I'm trying to be there for her, but I'm also trying to be here for me as well.

Lioness_girl 45F
3494 posts
3/22/2006 4:58 am

I agree with those that say SLOW DOWN!

You might scare her off if you go to fast man. Just be there to support her. That's what it sounds like that she needs right now.

Lioness_girl

Come have fun! Visit my blog at Lioness_girl


aascrompn replies on 3/23/2006 11:00 am:
I'm trying!!!!!

rm_dragonheat23 51M
1158 posts
3/22/2006 5:48 am

Been there, done that. Got the scars to prove it.
Listen to your loyal readers here. Relax, don't push it. There will come a time and place for your total honesty, when you get there you will know it.


aascrompn replies on 3/23/2006 11:01 am:
Yes, I think this is very wise... I'll just save all my thoughts up until I really have time to tell her at an appropriate setting, etc...

jadedbabe78 106F

3/22/2006 6:54 am

Hell, we all say stupid shit. We all do stupid things. Live and learn.

Don't sweat it. Just breathe.

~Jadey


aascrompn replies on 3/23/2006 11:04 am:
Yes, I do so more than others, but I understand your point. Hugs!

Seriously_Real 48M

3/22/2006 8:20 am

You know, if you take all this advice to just breathe, you'd be hyperventilating. Then again, that's kinda what you're doing!

You are what you are. You say what you say, you do your thing. She gets it. The best part, is that you do, too. And yet here you are.

You get where she is. She gets where you are. And therefore, making peace with it being what it is will be the newest task for you. Peace when you want something so badly is awfully hard to find. Maybe it is because peace comes from accepting not wanting.

Then again, as you know, I know nothing about nothing. And nothing I've said here helps. Maybe I should just tell you to breathe....

Nah. I'll tell you to keep writing it. Keep. On. Writing. It works over time....

--Seriously


aascrompn replies on 3/23/2006 11:15 am:
Peace is so terribly hard when you want something so much... Peace will come when I find out exactly where I stand.

You nothing about nothing? Yeah, right! You think way more than me and are way more successful than me... You don't don't know shit. LOL

jussweetlilolme 43F

3/22/2006 10:04 am

Oh darling what hardships we face when there is so much we want and feel and so much unknown...

two things:

Be the friend if thats what you are ready to be, and don't try to be more. accept that role in her life & move forward from there.

Move on. Okay so you're a helpless romantic, and obviously a very compassionate person, so why are you staying in a place that is by your own accord not changing? You are going to drive yourself crazy while some poor girl elsewhere will be missing someone to savor her every move and appreciate her wonderful being because you are watching a beautiful, but fully occupied alternate entity from them.

I didn't flow with the norm on this one & say slow down, take it easy and what not because you already are well aware of your position, you outlined it very well for us all. I also can say from where you are standing there is a small chance she will realize that you are a beautiful person and how wonderful and giving you are and she may, maybe, might, change her confused little fighting mind and decide you are the better man, until then, well, it sucks.

I am stopping here because I suppose I should have said, hey thats cool and sent encouragement to continue where you are, so not to be a bummer anymore, good luck with it all!

~Sweets


aascrompn replies on 3/23/2006 11:17 am:
I would agree w/ you, but I think there is a little interest on her part. I see what you're saying about waiting for her. It's just so hard to move when I want her so very much.

Yes, it sucks, but I like how you said it... lol

BTW, thanks for stopping by! Hugs

fantasylover_05 62M

3/22/2006 10:36 am

I BEG TO DIFFER WITH YOU MY FRIEND!!

"I absolutely meant everthing that I said to her. I meant it! This, my friends, will only carry you so far..."

Meaning what you say is EVERYTHING!! Throw that fucking "pickup line book" AWAY!! LOL LOL

BE WHO YOU REALLY ARE!!!

You can not expect someone to love you or even LIKE you if you don't let them know who the fuck you are!!

Be YOURSELF!!! You are plenty likeable al on your own.... and if she then likes you... you will KNOW it is truly YOU she likes not some fucking pick up line book!! LOL LOL LOL

JUST BE HONEST AND OPEN WITH HER AND LET IT BE WHAT EVER IT WILL BE!!

(hmmm sounds like good advice to me... maybe I will even use it!


aascrompn replies on 3/23/2006 11:18 am:
That's what is so strange about her... I've not used any line on her. I've been myself. I've been honest. I think she digs me, but it's a hard place right now.

saddletrampsk 54F

3/22/2006 11:04 am

Be true to yourself..


aascrompn replies on 3/23/2006 11:19 am:
I try... I think I do a very good job of it. Hugs

rm_mzbitch2u 47F
63 posts
3/22/2006 2:35 pm

sweetie, u seem like the type that falls hard and falls fast. my suggestion to u is to strap on a parachute...with the idea that when u land, you'll land on your feet and can go running into her arms, but should that not happen, at least it'll cushion your fall. in the meantime, B A B Y S T E P S!


aascrompn replies on 3/23/2006 11:22 am:
That's a very good look at it... I need a cushion for this fall.

warmandsexy52 64M
13164 posts
3/22/2006 4:26 pm

Relax and swim with life's current. It's leading you somewhere and you don't have to swim against the flow.

Take it easy, one step at a time. If it works, it works. If not there will be another time, my friend.


aascrompn replies on 3/23/2006 11:22 am:
*nods* Thank you!

aascrompn 42M
6444 posts
3/23/2006 10:56 am

Now what??


aascrompn 42M
6444 posts
3/23/2006 10:57 am

    Quoting rm_sexyfitwoman:

    I've always hated this part of "dating," the where do I stand with you cause I want to stand somewhere with you...

I absolutely agree with you! I hate not knowing...


caressmewell 53F

3/23/2006 11:28 am

Keep breathing and enjoy the ride..stop thinking so much


fantasylover_05 62M

3/23/2006 12:17 pm

Aas my friend

Please re-read your response to me....


"That's what is so strange about her... I've not used any line on her. I've been myself. I've been honest. I think she digs me"

BINGO!!

BE YOURSELF!!!

PEOPLE KNOW WHEN YOU ARE BEING GENUINE AND THEY WANT GENUINE PEOPLE!!

OBVIOUSLY SHE RECOGNIZES YOU ARE GENUINE!!

GO FOR IT BUDDY!!


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