To be honest  

aascrompn 42M
6957 posts
3/13/2006 8:08 am

Last Read:
10/18/2006 6:24 am

To be honest


In keeping w/ my blog's integrity, I have to admit something.

I truly have been enjoying my interactions w/ my local bloggers: southrnpeach333, caressmewell, sexydisaster30, and elbman. We all have a great time when we chat on IM, or when we razz each other in the blogs. I have met a number of other great bloggers of which I interact with on IM as well. It's always fun w/ them. Through these people, I'm meeting, via online, others from across the country too. I enjoy getting to know more people and am of the feeling that the more, the merrier.

There is still, however, a missing piece. I have a void of which still is not being filled. I'm not sure that any of this is actually contributing to my greater cause. Sure, I get more friends, but it's not finding somebody to date. I don't even have anybody, from what I can tell, interested in dating me anyway. This always seems to catch up to me once every two weeks, but I think I'm getting impatient. I know, I know. "It will happen when you're not looking for it. Just let it find you. Be happy with yourself first." I get it. I am happy w/ myself, but I would be lying to all if I didn't admit my down times. Today is another hard day. It will be ok tomorrow. I just want to know that somebody, somewhere, has an interest. We all flirt w/ each other, but it's not the same as the emotion that you KNOW that the persona that you communicate w/ is into you. You can tell by the way that they write, the smiley faces they send, the interest in YOUR life of which they ask questions. I just don't even have this. I have to ask most questions. Sometimes, I just get tired, ya know?

I want to feel like I'm wanted. I no longer care too much about living in different states. I realize that airfare can be put on credit cards. I just want to feel as if I'm the desire of somebody's affection. It's not that I want to get married tomorrow. It's been two full years now since my tragic breakup. I would've thought that I would've had something serious going again. I don't. I don't have one now, nor do I see anything forming anytime soon. The girls that I interact with just don't view me this way, I guess. I guess I'm just the nice friend.

Blah,
Me

crazygurl2xx 56F

3/13/2006 8:30 am

someone being "into" you is a hard thing to find, and even when you find it there are so many variables.

but, you know, you're an atrractive man and i bet you really won't have to go far to find someone who can get into you, but you really have to be prepared for the worst and take your chances anyway, like every single time one presents itself!

you have no idea how many times i put myself out there or how far i have gone to have what you are looking for. it's not easy and there's never any guarantee...


fantasylover_05 62M

3/13/2006 8:49 am

I will date you aascrompn!!

I want you!! LOL LOL

Okay... so maybe not what you were hoping for! LOL LOL

Chin up my friend!! You will find that very special ONE!!

Thanks so much for your support... it does mean so very much to me!


caressmewell 53F

3/13/2006 8:51 am

Baby, you never know who you are going to meet by knowing SD, southrn or myself..we all know other women. You get to network while building friendships..this is a good thing.


angelgrrl 48F

3/13/2006 9:52 am

It is difficult, and everyone wants to feel wanted. It's probably not anything you've done or not done -- just finding someone with that mutual chemistry who is also at the same place you are is often difficult but as long as you're open to it, chances are it will happen It's frustrating though, because this is one thing that cannot be forced


southrnpeach333 50F

3/13/2006 10:18 am

Just make sure you aren't so focused on the finish line that you forget to enjoy the race. And friends is a pretty good starting place. Especially for nice guys. They are the keepers.


elbman 41M  
2566 posts
3/13/2006 11:14 am

**smack**

Now that I have your attention, you're thinking to damn much! That's some shit I do. Your new role is to wake up in the morning, every and I mean every day, and make a concious effort to enjoy it for what it is.

You're alive, act like it. As long as you're not decomposing and being eaten by worms.....you have something to be happy about. If you are then, you'll be in blog heaven with 72 hotties.....


PassionKisses4Me 44F

3/13/2006 11:42 am

Hugs sweetie...I know it's not easy...I am going through the same kind of things...wanting to be desires...and waiting for it sucks, and not in a good way...have faith and enjoy your life and your friends...soft sweet kisses to you

Becky

~Becky~


caressmewell 53F

3/13/2006 11:44 am

    Quoting rm_valleyrat4:
    Okay, I left a serious heartfelt reply above.

    And now for something totally different

    You went out and had a great time with southrnpeach333 , caressmewell and sexydisaster30 and you still have something to bitch about?

    Do you know how many guys here at a.f.f. would practically blow you for the chance to go out drinking with them? The answer: a fucking lot!

    Push your whiny bitch ass away from the keyboard and go out and don't come back 'til one or more (preferably all) of your appendages smell like pussy. I don't mean going down to Petco and rubbing a Siamese either.

    Go now and bust a nut! That's an order or your blog will be in danger... :d
I think it is safe to say that sexydisaster30, southrnpeach333 and I would be delighted to have the opportunity to go out and have a good time with you!

That was such a nice thing to say, thank you.


jadedbabe78 105F

3/13/2006 11:55 am

It will happen. Patience is a great virtue...yada yada yada.

I know, I know...easier said than done. And in theory, maybe interest is there, it's just that some can't act upon in good consciousness or some shit like that.

In the mean time...go out, have fun...with friends. They're always a good place to start and build up the network of knowing even more people.

~Jadey


clevergirl4U 58F

3/13/2006 12:43 pm

aas: This is going to sound like corny advice from your mom, but this IS how it has worked for me throughout my life.

#1 Find something that you genuinely feel passionate about and DO it.
I volunteer for a couple of programs that really matter to me and meet like-minded people all of the time. But don't do it to meet people, do it because you want to make a difference with your life. It will also make you feel good about yourelf and life, in general. You will become MORE of a person because of it.

#2 Timing is EVERYTHING. The perfect woman for you may be within eyesight, yet is at NO place or time in her life to have an intimate relationship. It is NO reflection on you. It's enought to make you believe in fate!

#3 Carress is right...getting out for fun exposes you to more potential partners. Just don't go out with the sole purpose of "finding someone." Go out and have fun.


kelly402005 52F

3/13/2006 3:15 pm

Relax, it will happen when you least expect it!
~~~ Prayer can help too!
Luv ya man!


aascrompn 42M
6444 posts
3/14/2006 5:26 am

    Quoting sexydisaster30:
    You will find her when she is ready for you and you are ready for her and it will be easy and it will be wonderful.
I agree that it will be wonderful, but I'm thinking, w/ my current luck in life, it's not going to be easy. I'm not sure that I'm ready to continue the fight...


aascrompn 42M
6444 posts
3/14/2006 5:27 am

    Quoting crazygurl2xx:
    someone being "into" you is a hard thing to find, and even when you find it there are so many variables.

    but, you know, you're an atrractive man and i bet you really won't have to go far to find someone who can get into you, but you really have to be prepared for the worst and take your chances anyway, like every single time one presents itself!

    you have no idea how many times i put myself out there or how far i have gone to have what you are looking for. it's not easy and there's never any guarantee...
I'm not all that attractive, but thanks! I've taken many chances, when presents itself, but it just doesn't seem to pay off. Thanks for stopping by again.


aascrompn 42M
6444 posts
3/14/2006 5:29 am

    Quoting fantasylover_05:
    I will date you aascrompn!!

    I want you!! LOL LOL

    Okay... so maybe not what you were hoping for! LOL LOL

    Chin up my friend!! You will find that very special ONE!!

    Thanks so much for your support... it does mean so very much to me!
You are kinda cute... heh. You're welcome for my measely support. Look at you go! I told you that you had a great blog! You're higher in the ranks than me, sir...


aascrompn 42M
6444 posts
3/14/2006 5:30 am

    Quoting caressmewell:
    Baby, you never know who you are going to meet by knowing SD, southrn or myself..we all know other women. You get to network while building friendships..this is a good thing.
Yes, I agree w/ networking... I've always done it. However, when it comes to my relationships - or lack thereof - it's not happening for me. sigh


aascrompn 42M
6444 posts
3/14/2006 5:33 am

    Quoting rm_valleyrat4:
    Been there done that...or more to the point didn't do that. I too am the nice guy. What you get from this site that you mentioned above is what I got and continue to get out of this site. I've done almost nothing with the people I encounter here but it has given me even more hope than I already possessed. It's given me confidence which I wasn't really lacking - it was just misdirected. Things are going so well in my life now and it's not because of the meeting that I encounter here as I've really had none since last fall (early fall).

    Don't overthink it. It truly will come and so quickly when it starts you'll need to hang on tight.
valley, you know that i respect you implicitly, however, one just gets tired of getting beat down all the time. I too had hope once. Lots of it! Go back to NB's blog, and you will see comments that I posted about still believing. I did. I think that it just gets too hard. You throw yourself out on the line so many times and get nothing back! You don't get an email, a smiley face, a thanks but fuck off... Nothing!


aascrompn 42M
6444 posts
3/14/2006 5:36 am

    Quoting amberabercrombie:
    You will meet her, shes out there! There is someone for everyone and im sure shes just waiting around the corner for you! When you least expect it, is when it will hit you like a tons of bricks! (I should take my own advice lol)...be patient and good things will come!
I think it will happen when guys figure out how to put the toilet seat back down... Heh. I hear what you're saying. I appreciate your vote of confidence, but I just wish I had mine back. All my previous hard work over the last two years is going down the toilet.


aascrompn 42M
6444 posts
3/14/2006 5:54 am

    Quoting angelgrrl:
    It is difficult, and everyone wants to feel wanted. It's probably not anything you've done or not done -- just finding someone with that mutual chemistry who is also at the same place you are is often difficult but as long as you're open to it, chances are it will happen It's frustrating though, because this is one thing that cannot be forced
Thanks for stopping by! I think that's it's that I've done too much. Women don't like nice guys. Well, they do, but only as friends. I've blogged about this before. If you're too nice, women feel that they can walk all over you and are just not attracted to you. I'm open to a lot, but I'm tired of searching. I'm tired of trying. However, I know they won't come to me.


aascrompn 42M
6444 posts
3/14/2006 5:56 am

    Quoting southrnpeach333:
    Just make sure you aren't so focused on the finish line that you forget to enjoy the race. And friends is a pretty good starting place. Especially for nice guys. They are the keepers.
I don't enjoy the race. There has to be others to race w/ to really consider it a race. I would agree w/ you if there were participants, but alas, there aren't any.


aascrompn 42M
6444 posts
3/14/2006 6:00 am

    Quoting rm_valleyrat4:
    Okay, I left a serious heartfelt reply above.

    And now for something totally different

    You went out and had a great time with southrnpeach333 , caressmewell and sexydisaster30 and you still have something to bitch about?

    Do you know how many guys here at a.f.f. would practically blow you for the chance to go out drinking with them? The answer: a fucking lot!

    Push your whiny bitch ass away from the keyboard and go out and don't come back 'til one or more (preferably all) of your appendages smell like pussy. I don't mean going down to Petco and rubbing a Siamese either.

    Go now and bust a nut! That's an order or your blog will be in danger... :d
Was prepared for one of these... lol. I know that my blog is already in danger, as I seem to be blogging about whiny shit lately, but I have to tell you, I'm not going to just roll over for second best. Yes, I hang out w/ those listed above. Yes, we have good times, however, I go to these events date free.

I can't even get email... Do you think I can really get laid?? The answer is no, I can not. *sigh*


aascrompn 42M
6444 posts
3/14/2006 6:04 am

    Quoting elbman:
    **smack**

    Now that I have your attention, you're thinking to damn much! That's some shit I do. Your new role is to wake up in the morning, every and I mean every day, and make a concious effort to enjoy it for what it is.

    You're alive, act like it. As long as you're not decomposing and being eaten by worms.....you have something to be happy about. If you are then, you'll be in blog heaven with 72 hotties.....
Well that's certainly one way to get my attention! Yes, I overthink stuff. But, really, I'm not over thinking this one. It's quite obvious that one can do ratios to email sent out to email received. I'm not receiving any... You do the math. Life is what it is, man. If you're not content with it, change it. I'm trying to change it, but it's not paying off for my actions. I need to be in blog heaven...


aascrompn 42M
6444 posts
3/14/2006 6:06 am

    Quoting PassionsWine:
    You are not alone in your torment . many wish [long] for those things .It seems the ones with all these emotions are the ones that continue to be alone.
"It seems the ones with all these emotions are the ones that continue to be alone." Yes, I agree with this statement... WTF?


aascrompn 42M
6444 posts
3/14/2006 6:08 am

    Quoting PassionKisses4Me:
    Hugs sweetie...I know it's not easy...I am going through the same kind of things...wanting to be desires...and waiting for it sucks, and not in a good way...have faith and enjoy your life and your friends...soft sweet kisses to you

    Becky
I do enjoy my friends, but they don't help when I curl up in bed by myself every night!! There is only so much friends can do.


aascrompn 42M
6444 posts
3/14/2006 6:14 am

    Quoting jadedbabe78:
    It will happen. Patience is a great virtue...yada yada yada.

    I know, I know...easier said than done. And in theory, maybe interest is there, it's just that some can't act upon in good consciousness or some shit like that.

    In the mean time...go out, have fun...with friends. They're always a good place to start and build up the network of knowing even more people.

    ~Jadey
Ya, I always seem to fall for the unavailable ones... Friends, well, are friends.


aascrompn 42M
6444 posts
3/14/2006 6:35 am

    Quoting clevergirl4U:
    aas: This is going to sound like corny advice from your mom, but this IS how it has worked for me throughout my life.

    #1 Find something that you genuinely feel passionate about and DO it.
    I volunteer for a couple of programs that really matter to me and meet like-minded people all of the time. But don't do it to meet people, do it because you want to make a difference with your life. It will also make you feel good about yourelf and life, in general. You will become MORE of a person because of it.

    #2 Timing is EVERYTHING. The perfect woman for you may be within eyesight, yet is at NO place or time in her life to have an intimate relationship. It is NO reflection on you. It's enought to make you believe in fate!

    #3 Carress is right...getting out for fun exposes you to more potential partners. Just don't go out with the sole purpose of "finding someone." Go out and have fun.
1. I have do many hobbies that are quite fun. I do enjoy myself when I'm doing them.

2. I've met so many women on here, through blogging, that I'm interested in, but you're right. They are either unavailable, or are hung up on somebody else. The story of my life!

3. I do enjoy networking. I have a great time having fun with them, but at the end of the day, I still go home by myself.

Thanks for your "motherly" advice! I do know that you care, and I appreciate your insight.


aascrompn 42M
6444 posts
3/14/2006 6:37 am

    Quoting rm_mineiswetter:
    I agree with you sweety, I would like to feel wanted to! (Everyone does)
    I can relate to your situation. It's been a little over a year since my ex and I broke up. I thought by now I would be dating someone to. It sucks! It is frustrating but we have to have patience!!
    Keep your chin up! Smile... It looks good on ya! xoxo
I have nothing to smile about... Thanks for the comment, though!


aascrompn 42M
6444 posts
3/14/2006 6:37 am

Thanks, sweetie! I need it.


aascrompn 42M
6444 posts
3/14/2006 6:39 am

    Quoting kelly402005:
    Relax, it will happen when you least expect it!
    ~~~ Prayer can help too!
    Luv ya man!

Great! It should happen now then b/c I'm not expecting shit anymore.


aascrompn 42M
6444 posts
3/14/2006 6:41 am

    Quoting Samantha192:
    If either one of us lived (according to your profile) 6756 km nearer to each other - I would date you -hugs-
Oh wow! I love when you tease me! You have to be honest, however. You would have nothing to do w/ me if you lived here. lol - I do love the idea of your comment though! Thank you.


aascrompn 42M
6444 posts
3/14/2006 6:43 am

    Quoting rm_sexyfitwoman:
    Ugh.

    Hmmmm, I don't think I liked reading this one...

    It can hit too close to home for anyone...

    Just how many really want more then sex, but a relationship????
Ya, I tend to bring people down on my blog... sorry! I have the ability to have just sex, but I really only want a relationship!


aascrompn 42M
6444 posts
3/14/2006 6:48 am

    Quoting newaroundhere64:
    Ditto. Well said.

    Finding her will require you to move from "wanting and needing" to "having and sharing".

    And, personally, imho, if you take that damn bluetooth off your ear, it will greatly improve your approachability! lol

    nah64
Jealousy will get you nowhere in life! My blue tooth is cool and you know it.


aascrompn 42M
6444 posts
3/14/2006 6:58 am

    Quoting shyvixen1962:
    I hear what you are saying sweetie ~ the longing for intimacy with 'my' special someone is overwhelming for me some days. Three years after the end of my marriage,I've moved on and am well on the way to rebuilding my life yet sometimes the emptiness totally devours me. Keep believing it will happen and meantime enjoy the many friendships you are making...I look forward to the day I read in your blog that a special lady has found her way into your heart and life. Keep the faith. Hugs

    peace and healing
Even keeping the faith is devouring me right now... I look forward to that day too, but I'm giving up.


rm_JohnMacLaine 50M
585 posts
3/14/2006 9:20 am

Mike,

I dont usually use your real name, but feel I have to in order to answer this blog, and by saying your real name here it might make it seem more real.

I actually know exactly what you're going through. I am 3 1/2 years removed from my last serious relationship. I have not been involved with anyone since August of 2002. It can get pretty lonely out there, as well as frustrating, wondering when or if you will ever find someone again. You go out, you socialize, yet you never seem to find anyone that you are interested in or anyone that seems to be interested in you. You wonder if you are trying too hard, not trying hard enough, you even wonder if there is a growth on your face that only women can see that keeps them from being attracted to you. Whatever the reason, it does not change the fact that you are alone, have been alone for a while, and constantly beat you head against the wall wondering when the hell your luck is going to change. I am in an abgyss of lonliness, same as you. I have several female friends in my life, but that is all they are....friends. They dont see me as a romantic interest, maybe cause I am too much of a nice guy, maybe cause I have that growth only women can see, I dont know. I am loyal, faithful, good in bed and can carry a pretty good conversation. I just cant get past the "friend" stage"

All I can tell you is to keep yourself busy, be yourself, dont try and change for the sake of getting laid, cause then you sacrifice your dignity, your integrity, and become someone you are not. That is something I learned a long time ago. Dont know if it relevant in your case (probably not) but thought I would share. I have been reading your blog for a while nowand feel you are a great guy (as evident by the company you keep) you have a warm heart, and you will make some woman very happy one day when it happens. I have faith in you that it will happen, as well as I have faith in myself that it will happen. You just have to take it one day at a time and dont be in such a panic stage wanting to get laid over enjoying life (this is not meant to be derogatory).

Best of luck to you my friend...

JohnMaclaine (Scott)

"I can retain neither respect or affection for a government which has been moving from wrong to wrong in order to defend its own immorality" Mahatma Ghandi


jadedbabe78 105F

3/14/2006 9:51 am

Ok...first....*slap* (it seems to be my thing lately).

And second...you *are* indeed a hottie!

And if I didn't have my shitpile of confusion going on in my home life, I'd totally do ya . And I don't hand out empty compliments either, I mean what I say.


Darkpassion 57F

3/14/2006 12:39 pm

Are you kidding sweetheart! Take a long look in the mirror see cute, young, gorgeous stamped on your forehead. If I was nearer I'd come and smack your arse for such negative thinking.I'm sure there are a few nearer home who would be only to glad to do it for me.....then kiss it better lol!


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