In An Effort...  

aascrompn 42M
6957 posts
8/18/2006 8:20 am

Last Read:
10/18/2006 8:19 am

In An Effort... get back to my always contemplative state, I've decided today to post a question that's been on my mind.

I've noticed, from my past relationship (online of course, as I can't get laid R that I tend to piss on my percieved territory. Thinking back to past relationships, I guess I've always done this. I'm not sure that this is good for the woman to notice. On one hand, I guess it shows that I care and am claiming her, but on the other, I think it might show signs of jealousy, which I'm really not all about.

Now, being on this site, I have numerous fantasies. I'm into the MFM, MFF thing. I think I would be into the group thing as well. However, with my latest revelation about myself, I'm not too sure I could actually go through with it if it were a very serious relationship. I think that what would really help me through this is to understand the needs that she might have. I think that if we are really close, and I know that it's just about sex, and that it would really please her, I might just have to agree to it... Ultimately, out of love, I might go along with it. If I saw her really pleased, that would make me very, very happy.

On the flip side, however, what if I were to become a little jealous in a MFM scenario? I might wonder if there was any communication behind my back. I could never fully swap or have things going on when I'm not around.

What are your thoughts on this? How do you manage to have a relationship such as this?? Do you have rules that you follow?

2daycowboywanted 45F

8/18/2006 9:18 am

Exactly why you have to be incredibly careful with 3somes. They can manage to make a terrific relationship taninted with jealousy and envy - which are not a good thing.

Until later

rm_imakemlaff 62M
595 posts
8/18/2006 9:30 am

If I were you I would stay away from it all. you already have reservations and have done nothing yet. The purpose of what you are thinking of doing is for fun! If you are worried about it...stay away. Don't subject yourself to possible psychological punishment! This particular lifestyle doesn't appear to be for you. Don't do something you will regret. Unless you can go into it just for fun / with no worries, fogetaboutit!

Hippink 35F
4499 posts
8/18/2006 12:00 pm

Personally, I feel swinging in a truely loving relationship is amazing! It's a true adoration of your partner, woshipping them so much that you want to see what they look like from the outside. It's not about variety or getting someone new... if it is, then I can see relationships breaking apart. If it's for the former reason, it can strengthen the relationship, and make you both feel very secure. The people added to the mix have to be "props." Respected as people, of course, but really nothing more than play-things.

I actually really like a man who obviously cares about whether he gets to keep me in his life or not. Nothng makes you feel more un-wanted than the "I can take it or leave it" attitude. I don't want him to be jealous... but a little marking of his territory is definitely a good thing. I do it, too.

Jealousy in swinging... again, if it's done in a loving way, worshipping your lover (and vice versa), then you won't feel any jealousy at all. Trust me, I didn't. I LOVED it! So did he. BUT... there were times when I felt a lot less secure because he was pushing it too hard, seemed to be ready to fuck anything we could get our hands on... that's when I pulled the plug. He got greedy.

I didn't want my swing partner to see anyone without my presence. And he didn't want me to, either. It should be SHARED. Some people can do it separately, but very, very few. You do have to tread carefully, as this does break up a lot of couples. It's usually under-lying issues that were the real problem, though.

Anyway, good luck finding a woman in the real world!
Hippie XXX

jadedbabe78 105F

8/18/2006 4:38 pm

I couldn't do it. I couldn't do a MFF because I don't like to share. And I'm greedy, damnit. I don't want him to split his time up.

I couldn't do a MFM, either. One's all I can handle, lol.

If I want a third party...I'll bring my vibrator into the sack with us.

That's just me and my two cents.

wants2cyber 42F

8/18/2006 8:25 pm

I couldn't do it in terms of a relationship (like March said). It is a great fantasy, and I think it could work on that wild-and-crazy night when you're both right there (physically and mentally)... but as an ongoing lifestyle, not for me!

curious082385 31F
4925 posts
8/19/2006 3:53 am

I have to agree with Hippie and Wants2...I think that if both people are 100% comfortable with the situation, another person can be brought in for play. Personally, I think I would be comfortable with them only being a beyond that would probably make me uncomfortable.

Notfunanymore 105F
10289 posts
8/19/2006 12:41 pm

Couldn't do it, but................
I don't have to manage it, I don't have even one guy!

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