I Just Can  

aascrompn 42M
6957 posts
7/29/2006 9:29 pm

Last Read:
10/18/2006 8:02 am

I Just Can

I have many friends... I have one in particular that I usually lean on when I'm down and need advice...

I remember, not too long ago, when I was separating from my ex. I remember that I called him every hour at that point relaying the details of the latest fight.

One day, the pinnacle of everything w/ she and I came to a climax. Being analytical, I knew I was fucked... I knew we were done. I called him, my best friend to relay the event. As I'm a couple of sentenses in, he states that he can't hear it anymore. He stated that there was sooooo many times that he's given me the same advise and that he just couldn't deal w/ it anymore... I don't remember too much after that. I don't remember what he said after that, at all. I remember feeling all alone. I remember that my family wasn't listening to me either and that I had nobody left... Do you understand how alone one feels when you're truly alone??

This post really is not to rag on him. This post is not to demonstrate anything other than my frustration w/ my current events... I know that he likes my girlfriend, ex-girlfriend, whatever she really is... This is to explain that all I feel I have, is to just vent here. I can only vent, b/c I'm now scared to overburden him, my best friend. I just have nowhere else to turn.

This is my blog. This is where I come to dump my brain energy. My brain is currently fucking me over. My brain is scaring the hell outta me, but it actually can see that I'm not going to win this fight...

My other best friend, lex, is not talking to me. She is mad that I was unable to help her out w/ her move into her new house. I was unable to, b/c I'm partially sick... I've had a chest cold, which moved to a head cold... My belief is that it's b/c I walk into AC from 100 plus degrees everyday.

My girlfriend... There is nothing else I can tell her. There is nothing else that I can say that will get her to change her mind... I can only offer everything, which I have.

She has not, and I mean has not, ever told me anything other than the truth. She has not said that it's over, but I'm trying to help her understand what it feels like in my shoes. For those of you that know her, please do not email her. She has been nothing but supportive of me. Whatever she decides, will be the smartest choice for her.

Anyway, I'm venting here, b/c I have nowhere else to turn...


funintheday2006 56M
9659 posts
7/29/2006 9:50 pm

Y'can always mail. Always.

rm_xxSpecialKxx 46F
1614 posts
7/30/2006 12:46 am

vent vent vent if its out rather than deep inside its gotta be done aww darling i know you feel right now like whats the point its all gone to shit etc but you must try and be positive, at the end of the day shit does happen ,sometimes its a case of it being totally out of 1s control nothing could have prevented it, however from what ive read if you take a closer look the things your venting about here & no offence ok things could have been different your 2 friends have obviously been there for you & have played there roles correctly youve stated that theyve been good friends to you up until recently!! however your friend lex needed support yes you were unwell & had a bad chest cold that went to your head but was you dying ? nope you felt like shit but you could have struggled rthrough it but instead you chose not to help at all?? a heavy dose of painkillers and vicks nasal spray a couple of hours helping your friend and then to bed feeling like absolute shit but happy at the knowldge f your friend was settled in shed do that 4 you obviously wouldnt she? and from your friends point of view there does come a time when you have to think actually am i being to much maybe i should deal with some of this time on my own i put this on her/him everytime im really sorry if this sounds hard its not intentional just the way youve worded this i am seeing similar in you to how ive been as im actually going through similar issues not as clear cut as yours this is all out of my hands now my friends because i value love & appreciate the friendship i know that i have to deal with this on my own as much as i can and at those desperate times i know my friends with step in you have to try and mentally help yourself to grow and get stronger you cant do that if you run to your friend everytime x
The situation with your gf whatever the reasons is part of life it happens everyday to a hundred thousand people all over the world and they like you think theyre alone and why them!!!!!!!! if its meant to be then its meant to be but you do also have to look at yourself and take on board that we are responsible for our own actions and sometimes without even knowing it we are actually partly to blame for the shit that we say happens just read this through and though omg how fucking horrible are you (Referring to me) but i was where your emotions are now & i did exactly what im preaching here and things are actually starting to seem more positive unfortunately my now ex hunny is wallowing in that pity hole and has dug his own grave for not helping himself by admitting part of the blame is halfway to solution x dont you do that too these things can be restored theyre not entirely broken you have to take some of the responsibility & with that process x i really hope things get better 4 u and you start feel content and happy again and soon big hugs and send a hit squad out 4 me if you must lol im armoured up and ready i just read thread and related to whats happening and me being me could nt help and wade on in ok im going now take care hunny xxxxxxxxxxk

aascrompn replies on 7/31/2006 5:48 am:
I've been there for lex countless of times before... Last year, on my vacation time, I ended up running her to the dr's twice, picked up her medication for her, made her meals and forced fed them to her... The one time that I just can't move b/c I took nighttime medecine, she gets a damn attitude. She already had her boyfriend helping her anyway. It's not harsh, as again, I've been there before w/ her. As a matter of fact, I just helped her move into her bf's house not 4 months ago.

rm_xxSpecialKxx 46F
1614 posts
7/30/2006 12:48 am

And hun if you never talk to me again ill understand but pleaseeeeeeeee pleaseeee don t remove that piccc u have thee cutest bum sorry honesty again a traittt ive been apparently blessed with xk

aascrompn replies on 7/31/2006 5:49 am:
Lol - Why would I never talk to you again?? I think it was a very good comment! As far as my ass is concerned... You're sweet, thank you!

sweetcandyfloss 45F

7/31/2006 11:10 am

" Do you understand how alone one feels, when you're truly alone"

Yes ....

aascrompn replies on 7/31/2006 12:42 pm:
I'm sorry! It does really suck, doesn't it??

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