aascrompn 42M
6957 posts
12/24/2005 8:51 pm

Last Read:
10/18/2006 4:55 am


First, I want to say that I know I'm extremely selfish for this post... Let me start by saying that I'm really happy for everyone that has a family, partner, gf/bf, wife/husband, etc... As I just told a new online friend of mine, here on AdultFriendFinder, my day has gotten progressively worse from the moment I woke up. It's not supposed to be this way. Christmas time is my favorite time of year (usually).

It all started when I picked my grandmother up from my parent's house. I got stuck in traffic on my way to the mall to finish my last minute shopping (which really means all of my shopping). At first I thought I was just annoyed by the traffic. Then I thought it was b/c I was mad at myself for procrastinating again. Then, I thought it was b/c I had not had my morning caffeine. It was none of the above.

As I entered the mall, I was overwhelmed by the amount of people. It’s just crazy how many people that can fit into such a huge place and still not have the ability to move. There were babies, teenagers w/ pants falling off, parents, grandparents, couples, etc… I finally had a chance to really look around. Everybody, for the most part, was extremely happy. It was really refreshing… I love to see kids being held by their parents. I love to watch people actually get out of the way for elderly. I love to watch college friends, just back from school, run into old high school friends they haven’t seen in a year. It’s great. It seems to be happening to everybody else. I had a great day w/ my grandmother, but I realized what I didn’t have anymore…

I don’t have my “pre built family” anymore. I don’t have little kids asking for me to buy them toys anymore. I don’t have a partner asking for everything from diamonds to lingerie anymore. I want to be needed again. To me, that’s love. It’s the belief that you are actually needed. Without anyone in my life to share this holiday with, I feel that everyone else is continuing on with their lives and nobody needs me. Does this make any sense????

I know I’m selfish! I know that I have my health (mostly). I have a roof over my head. I’m able to eat, etc… I’m still feeling miserable! I don’t know, maybe it’s b/c it’s raining. Maybe when I go through tomorrow w/ my family, I will feel better. I’m not a depressed person, usually. I have no idea what’s going on.

For all of you that actually read my blog, I’m sorry. Sorry for being down on such a great day! I certainly hope you all do as my online buddy ATLNoonerBoy says in his blog, “If you are with the Love of Your Life this weekend, please kiss them and thank your stars. That person is the most precious gift you'll ever get this Christmas.”

Merry Christmas!

aascrompn 42M
6444 posts
12/25/2005 7:11 pm

sexy - Yes, things looked up today. I'm very grateful for what I do have and am concentrating on that, instead of what I don't have.

ATLNooner - I need a damn dictionary when I read anything from you. I thought I was a reasonably smart guy... I KNOW you will have the Right One next year. If you screw it up, I'll kick you in the ass. She seems (from what I've read about you two) she is for sure the Only One. Fine, how about a car instead??

rm_goddess1946 106F
13518 posts
12/26/2005 1:43 pm

no need to be sorry for what you are feeling........ever.

feelings are real although not always truth. remember that.


Just a little food for thought.............
If you really want to be happy, nobody can stop you...

aascrompn 42M
6444 posts
12/27/2005 10:37 am

goddess - thanks for your understanding on this pathetic post! You are very sweet!

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