Dinner Drama  

aascrompn 42M
6957 posts
7/25/2006 6:49 pm

Last Read:
10/18/2006 7:55 am

Dinner Drama

Ok... This is a very tough subject for me, as I know I'm going to get ragged; however, I just wanted to know everybody else's position on this.

My family and I met tonight to discuss my home loan, my home, its upgrades, etc... We decided to meet at an upper scale Italian restaraunt.

My dad has always been very picky about the atmosphere around his table. He is not one to deal very well w/ children that are yelling. The table next to us had two very small kids. They were sat after we had already been there for about half an hour. My parents are regulars there and the ownership knows that they just like a relaxed atmosphere. Two tables from us was another very small girl. My parents even admired the parents b/c the child was very well behaved.

After sitting the table next to us, the kids didn't take long to get restless. One started banging the salt shaker on the table. My parents were becoming more vocal w/ their negative feelings towards the kids. They were making McDonalds's references, etc. At first, I got pissed at my parents for their position and the fact that they needed to be more vocal. After the salt shaker incident, I understood. The parents did nothing about it!!!!! They allowed their children to carry on as if it were their home.

My parents had enough. My mother didn't even eat her meal, she was sooo pissed off. My father closed the tab and we moved it to the bar to finish my house conversation. Once there the owner apologized, but still did nothing to stop the commotion. You could even hear the kids up at the bar, all the way across the establishment. Finally, the father dicided to take the kids outside. On his way by, my mother muttered aloud, "McDonald's". Like son, like mother. I got a good chuckle out of it, as I know for a fact I was never allowed to get away w/ that behavior growing up. The man said in return, "Why don't you control your liqour?"... Excuse the fuck out of me??? You have the nerve to talk to my mother that way?? I got up and said, "Excuse me? Who the fuck do you think you are?" He responded, "Did you hear how she treated my children??" He looked like he was about to cry! He looked as if he worked in the basement of IBM his entire life! He looked to be about 45 and about 135 lbs... I felt sorry for him for being controlled by his kids and wife. My response to him was simply, "If you say one more thing to my mother, I will drop you!"

These are the facts... The parents were there to feed and drink themselves! It was after 8PM and the kids were there w/ them. When I say children, one had to have been 3 and the other about two. These parents need to get a life! They were there to enjoy a bottle of wine and grab some better food! I understand that. What I don't understand is why they could not have grabbed a baby-sitter to watch the children... Since when does society have to cater to the children?? Why are parents not more stern w/ children?? Why is there no more dicipline?

I know plenty of parents that would've put a stop to the banging on the table! I know plenty of parents who would've found a sitter.... I understand it's expensive, but that's what you have to do these days! Otherwise, make the kids behave! Kids will adapt to discipline! Kids will respect you in the end for it!

~ AAS (loving kids, but hating stupid parents)

sexymamma662003 31F

7/25/2006 7:12 pm

ok first not everyone can get babysitters. like myself i have 2 small kids and have no one to baby sit my kids NO ONE.
yes the parents should have stopped there kids.
honestly though if someone had said something like that to me about my kids, i would have said something too.

sorry hun that is just how i feel.


aascrompn replies on 7/26/2006 6:09 am:
I just knew I'd get it from someone... sigh

I understand being protective over your children, but I do believe that it's often parents these days seem a little inconsiderate. If tables around the family can't have a normal discussion b/c of how loud the kids are being, there is something wrong. This is the angle that I'm using. It's not that the kids were there, it was that they were unruly. Plus, they needed to be in bed.


7/25/2006 7:19 pm

No, you are right about this. Parents can be stupid. If you can't get a sitter, then go somewhere appropriate for children of that age or get take out. How about an early dinner, so the kids won't be tired and cranky? It's not that hard to use common sense. I know I always took into account all factors when my son was younger. As a result, I never had an issue with him acting up, disrupting meals, etc...He's only 9 now, but everybody tells me what a well behaved child he always is.

aascrompn replies on 7/26/2006 6:10 am:

I'm sure that he is well behaved. Again, it's not the kids fault if the parents don't control them. It's just bad parenting, in my opinion.

caressmewell 53F

7/25/2006 7:22 pm

I hear ya!

When my kids were young and I wanted to go out to dinner I would go early so that my kids ate close to their normal supper time and were not overtired. I would also bring a snack and a few toys to keep them occupied, happy and quiet.

I don't understand why so many parents feel that they must take their children every place they go no matter what time it is. I've been to parties where the invitation was adult only and some had the nerve to bring their children with them.

I would think that parents would enjoy the occassional night out without their children so that mom and dad could spend have some quality time for themselves or at least some adult time.

aascrompn replies on 7/26/2006 6:13 am:
I think that's what these children needed. They needed toys. These people even brought their own booster seats, b/c the restaraunt doesn't even offer them. They have done this before.

I, too, have seen kids at adult parties... I've seen kids up at 1 and 2 in the morning around a bunch of drunk adults...

I understand the parents may have had a hard day at work... I understand they were craving Italian. If they knew the kids were past their bed times, why not send the husband to pick the food up to go and grab a bottle of wine on the way back home??

PandorasBoxxxx 106F
10040 posts
7/25/2006 7:48 pm

I hate bratty children. I never understood how parents can't control them. My kid was a very well behaved kid when he was little. I would not allow for bad behaviour.

I suspect that I might be in for a treat when he's 16 and up! lol

When I see little kids out riding their bikes after 8pm I wonder where the fuck are their parents? Do these children have no structure in their lives? I just shake my head.

Teenagers are god's punishment for having sex!!


aascrompn replies on 7/26/2006 6:14 am:
Good for you!

16 always is an evil age... I broke outta my good boy shell at 15.

fantasia_shares 47M/43F
4164 posts
7/25/2006 7:54 pm

There are stupid parents, true...these just sound like tired parents who've been working too much to have any sense left. Really, taking kids out to dinner after 8 pm when they are that age is rediculous. On the other hand, a 2 and 3 year old have limitations on what they can comply with. Depending on the child, those limitations may far exceed what your father was ever willing to tolerate. In your own parent's case, they probably were more sensible about managing. Wait until you have children, however, before you get too wound up. Sitters aren't always available when you need them and sometimes you just can't take it any more and have to get out of the house. Probably you will choose someplace more sensible, but if your wife just has to eat at her favorite restaurant because she just really needs something special, you will probably bend over backwards to please, whatever the circumstances.


You might want to know who to watch out for around here: Are YOU a Dirty Bad Man or Woman? !

Please tell me the secrets of your sex appeal Primping!

And a MUST READ: [post 2294897]

Just shamelessly pimping my own damned blog!

aascrompn replies on 7/26/2006 6:16 am:
Oh, I love kids! My ex had two children and we never, ever, took them to a formal dining atmosphere. The worst place we took them was to a pool hall for my team's playoffs. They had video games to entertain them.

OboesHonedIambs 62F

7/25/2006 10:54 pm

You "know you're gonna get ragged on."??? Not by me, you're not! I depise people who allow their sprogeny to behave like that in public.

Instant Human -- Just Add Coffee

aascrompn replies on 7/26/2006 6:17 am:
lol - Some parents just don't have any backbone anymore... Again, it's usually not the kids fault. Kids will do whatever you allow them to get away with. It's their job to test you. I love watching them try.

alphuctup 40M

7/26/2006 3:09 am

Amen to that. Although I wouldn't have encouraged them to take their kids to McDonalds because if there's on thing I hate more than badly behaved children, it's fat badly behaved children.

aascrompn replies on 7/26/2006 6:18 am:
LMAO - Now that's an entirely different post all together!!

fantasia_shares 47M/43F
4164 posts
7/26/2006 8:04 am

I had to laugh when you said "my ex had kids." My hubby and I lived across the street from a family where the wife had kids from a previous marriage. They had every other weekend to themselves! What a life! You have your family time AND lots of together adult alone time! Wow! We'd love to have every other weekend off...you don't even have to give the guy money and you know he loves his kids, what a way to live! We joked that maybe what we needed to do was get a divorce and remarry, so we could get out more. But really, there are heartaches there, I know, and exes don't always show up like they are supposed to. A lot of times grandparents will bail out the parent who gets stuck, to make it better. Completely different than having your own kids 24/7/365.

I'm not saying it's something I would do, but I have a lot of understanding/mercy for people and the decisions they make with their kids. Who knows when these people had a decent night's sleep last? You do stupid things when you lack sleep and you lack getting out of your house and you just are on the verge of a nervous breakdown.

In addition to this, a lot of times people will be terribly judgmental of the parents and have no idea what kinds of struggles they really are dealing with. What may seem a "simple discipline problem" for one family could be another family's children on their very best behavior due to developmental delays and neurobiological challenges. Nope, I absolutely refuse to be judgmental of people who bring their children to a restaurant who, in turn, play with the salt shakers.

Now, on the other hand, if they bring a dog to the park who tries to start a fight with every other dog in the park, I lose my patience. I have seen that, and felt very uncomfortable and somewhat unsafe. THAT, my dear, is something that definitely bothers me. This same person seemed absolutely clueless that it was her dog's behavior sparking the aggression around her, asking questions like "Is your dog friendly?" Like, duh, he is, but if your dog is barking at him like he wants to kick is ass, he is going to tell him to back down!


You might want to know who to watch out for around here: Are YOU a Dirty Bad Man or Woman? !

Please tell me the secrets of your sex appeal Primping!

And a MUST READ: [post 2294897]

Just shamelessly pimping my own damned blog!

aascrompn replies on 7/27/2006 5:16 am:
This was based on assuming the kids had a clear checkup at the doctor's office...

I hear ya on the dog thing though! If they ever ask me if my dog is nice, I just tell them no.

SweetDarlinAngel 39F
2996 posts
7/26/2006 1:06 pm

This is a bit of sensitive issue with me. Prior to my current situation, I was always able to dine where ever I choose and my son was very well behaved. He ate properly, used manners, spoke in hushed tones, even as young as two years old. I was used to having him at my side all the time. Perhaps it is because I was carting him to and from college classes since the age of 6 weeks old and exposing him to restaurants and adult atmosphere's since he was a small baby. When my second son was born, I again exposed him to things very early, teaching him appropriate behavoir and manners. By the time I had a young child and two toddler boys following me around to candle lit restaurants with my husband; and live music concerts all three were able sit for at least an hour and entertain themselves; all three could use manners well, and knew appropriate voice levels in different atmospheres. Then I married my current spouse whose daughter was used to being the center of attention and discussion. Always catered to before she even asked for something and never taken somewhere outside of her age range. All of a sudden, my children "forgot" how to behave because we never frequented the places we used to go and my spouse claims that my boys are rowdy and out of control while her daughter climbs beneath the table, stares at other patrons and yells at the waiter. My boys on the other hand are sitting side by side, giggling amongst themselves and talking loudly. Things they never would done before. I think parenting and environment are the keys to how children behave in public. If you don't engrain it in the young, then you can't expect them to live by it as they grow up. Heaven knows how long it take to teach my step-daughter to behave half as well as my sons did prior to her influence, and if I will ever be able to enjoy a night out with my family again. I shouldn't have to pay someone else to care for them simply because my spouse couldn't instill proper values and lessons into her daughter. Home is where your chaos should be kept.


aascrompn replies on 7/27/2006 5:17 am:
Sounds like you've done the right thing... I think you need to speak to your current, and make sure all is aligned w/ you two...

marathonman45202 53M
6640 posts
7/26/2006 8:08 pm

I am in total agreement on all accounts. When I was a kid, my parents rarely took us out to restaurants (what ever happened to dining at home with children?). When they did take us out, there would be hell to pay (immediately) for behavior that was out-of-line.

I have worked in the restaurant industry for over 10 years now, and I am amazed at parents (and there are a boat load of them) who have no control over their kids. I'm more amazed that many of them find this behavior funny.

Feed the kids at home (stay the fuck away from McDonald's - and it's other fat-inducing fast-food friends), and enjoy a nice stress-free, pleasure-inducing evening out as adults!

p.s. is anyone else having problems with the spell-check in blogland?

aascrompn replies on 7/27/2006 5:18 am:
It's true! I was in the industry for three years and couldn't believe parents would even contemplate ordering spaghetti for the children, b/c it always, and I mean always wound up more over the floor than in their mouths.

fantasia_shares 47M/43F
4164 posts
7/27/2006 5:59 pm

Ah, well m'dear, this assumption that the kids had a clean bill of health at the doctor's office can really get you in a lot of trouble. The fact of the matter is, there are plenty of kids who just appear "poorly behaved" and "not properly disciplined" who DO NOT have a clear bill of health at the doctor's office, and you just can't tell by looking at them. I doubt anyone would have any idea that my daughter is somewhat autistic or that my son was bipolar. They give me evil eyes all the time. I have to simply chalk it up to complete ignorance and lack of tolerance, and they just don't know any better.

There are LOTS of times people have treated us badly, or looked down on us as a result of our kids. If you ask me if it's okay to do that to anyone, I'll tell ya what I think. I think it's appalling and shows ignorance of the complete situation, intolerance and impatience. In effect, I pretty much assume the intolerant people are just uninformed and ususally it's not worth my energy to educate them on site. Sure, there are bad parents out there. There are stupid people. You can't tell from an observation in a restaurant, playground, or anyplace else you spend 30 minutes what is beneath the surface. We had complete asshole neighbors who treated us quite beneath them for quite some time because of the behavior of our children. They were ignorant, and for many years, we didn't have a lot of answers about what was happening with our kids at all, and NOTHING to educate them with, even if we had the opportunity to do so. Most of the things that are wrong with a kid don't show up in pediatric visits for quite some time. It does not mean, however, that it doesn't take a toll on the parents. There doesn't have to be something wrong for there still to be problems that parents aren't sure how to resolve.

I assume most people are doing the best they can with the information and resources they have on hand.

This may or may not determine whether I care to get to know them better.

I, like I said, try to come up with rational reasons to put myself at ease and remain non-judgemental in these instances.


You might want to know who to watch out for around here: Are YOU a Dirty Bad Man or Woman? !

Please tell me the secrets of your sex appeal Primping!

And a MUST READ: [post 2294897]

Just shamelessly pimping my own damned blog!

Become a member to create a blog