aascrompn 42M
6957 posts
1/31/2006 11:36 am

Last Read:
10/18/2006 5:04 am


I've been doing pretty well w/ my anxiety right up until last night.

Yesterday, my friend was buried. In some sense it was a relief, but in another, it's just the start of a whole new life for his family. One that's going to be extremely hard.

Yesteray, I got mad. I got mad that I couldn't be there. I decided the best way to deal w/ it, was to go to my bar (home away from home) and play some video games and hang w/ my friends. One drink lead to another, and another, and another... etc. In the course of 4 hours I drank 8 beers and had 4 shots. For the record, I didn't drive home. All of a sudden, I realized that I was ANGRY. I had pent up rage that I totally took out on another bar patron. He said something smartass to me, and I let loose. What I should've done (and normally do) was laugh at him and walk away, but I couldn't. I lunged at him. He backed out of the way and proceeded to go to the parking lot. I caught up w/ him half way down the hall. Two of my friends (one former Marine and the other a former Ranger) tried to block me from the guy. The guy kept running his mouth. Finally, a third friend got into the mix on holding me. It took three people to hold me back.

I'm not "that guy". I'm not one to just rage out, but something came out of me. Have you ever snapped? Have you ever just thought, "to hell w/ it"? It's just not who I am.

southrnpeach333 50F

2/1/2006 9:33 am

Grief can make us do wierd things. Luckily, your friends were there to catch you when you fell. And we are here to listen if you need to vent.

caressmewell 53F

2/1/2006 10:13 am

You need to work the physical anger out...go some place private, scream, shout, throw things etc until you wear yourself out. Find someone to talk about it..get it out of your system.

elbman 41M  
2566 posts
2/1/2006 10:17 am

I think we all have those moments where we just say that; where we've taken about all we can and something otherwise trivial throws us over the edge (and a bit of alcohol can be a catalyst). Even the most patient easy going people have their limits and buttons.

Fox4aKnight1 43F

2/1/2006 12:11 pm

*raises hand* ......I been there. Not the same way as you but I have been there.


kelly402005 52F

2/1/2006 7:34 pm

I don't know what to say to you........
" I'm here........."

Other than that, what makes you release?
Find it and go there.........
Mine is music and dancing....

Come on man......... Get a grip, NOW!
Sorry, I'm the one that picks your ass up out of the puddle and gets you going again...........

What do you think you need?
I don't "know" you.........
Tell me..............

Other then that....... I'm here for you.


aascrompn 42M
6444 posts
2/2/2006 5:57 am

southrn - I really do have a GREAT group of friends, both in "real life" as well as right here! I'd be there for them, but I'm really happy they were there.

aascrompn 42M
6444 posts
2/2/2006 5:59 am

Caress - I went and ran 3 miles... I feel much better. It really did release some of my stress. Talking about it on here has really helped me vent. Thanks, as usual, sweetie! *hugs*

aascrompn 42M
6444 posts
2/2/2006 6:01 am

elbman - I agree the alcohol didn't help. I did what I told Nooner to never do. I was that guy drinking my sorrows away (like it could help the situation), sitting at the end of the bar. I have to actually laugh at myself for being so pathetic! Oh well... heh, I do make myself laugh at times.

aascrompn 42M
6444 posts
2/2/2006 6:03 am

Fox - I know that you've dealt w/ some pretty major stuff. Thanks for your sympathy! *hugs*

aascrompn 42M
6444 posts
2/2/2006 6:22 am

kelly - you've said a lot here! What makes me release is having sex and working out. Since I'm not having sex, I guess I have to start my workout regimen again.

Get a grip, now - Have you ever thought of being a military drill instructor?? You'd be very, very good at it. That's a good thing! You're right. I just have to suck it up.

I think I need to just maintain my focus and discipline.

I know you're here for me! I think it's really great that you chime in when I need it the most... *hugs and kisses*

kelly402005 52F

2/3/2006 9:23 pm

No! ......... not a drill instructor, just picking your ass up and getting you going!
A friend, would do that for you I hope....
Look, if I needed someone to pick me up, it would take all that!
I raised my younger brothers and sisters, they love me, for the most part!!!!~

I raised 2 kids, by myself.........
We gotta get up, get going, get on with our happy ass lives!
"I didn't raise you to be a failure!"

You aren't my baby...
But, I'm here for you.....
Strong.......... damn, too strong for most...!

Come on over, you could help me out too!!!!! AAAAaahhhh!
The thought..........
Just, mmmmmmmmm.......... ;-$
Let me stop......

Just here being me....
Too much of everything!
Strong, tough and your friend.............
Get use to it!!!!!

I can break down, but when I'm there for my friends....... I'm there!


aascrompn 42M
6444 posts
2/6/2006 5:26 am

kelly - i could come over... You are a great friend! Thanks for the lookout!

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