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Leaving the Cuckoo's Nest
Leaving the Cuckoo's Nest
You Don't Wanna Hear This!!
As Everybody who knows Liv Inlavalova already knows, I used to be a maniac. But you know what? I wasn't really all that crazy until I checked myself into the mental institution.
I mean the Dark Figure did a really good job screwin up my head, and I knew I needed help, but I assumed that I could get that help in a mental institution.
I was only seventeen and I figured these people are professionals, with a sound knowledge of psychiatry, so I'd just go in, explain everything, they'de talk with me, and tell me how to straighten my head out and I'd go home.
I knew I was having problems, but I was optimistic about getting help dealing with them.
I don't think a person is really aware of the atrocities that are committed right here in advanced countries, until they are immersed into them.
What happens in mental institutions happens outside of people's knowledge and no one usually talks about it much outside the system.
People assume that doctors know what they are doing, and if anyone goes on about how they are mistreated, or even brings up the fact that they were in a mental istitution, people generally don't want to listen to them.
The fact is, is that many people who have so called mental illnesses, have it inflicted upon them by these institutions.
I remember being there thinking, "If only people could see what happens here. No one would stand for it."
I knew that someday I would expose this system to the world. They nearly destroyed my life, and I've seen so many others destroyed- People who are suffering deeply inside, who the rest of society won't listen to. People who are abused, or war veterans, or anyone with alot of pain. Alot of everyday people don't wanna hear about it. Everyone in those places usually will admit themselves, when it is too painful todeal with on there own, and things are complicated by the fact that people are having too much fun to listen. I like society when it is fun, but I think a doctors job should be to immerse them into that fun.
Unfortunately for us issues surrounding abuse or other forms of trauma are dealt with really pessimistically by acedemic society. People who are abused or , or in my case, have their mind , carry pain for years, but the pain they carry isn't so much from the actual incident, it's from their falling out of society.
The incident may cause them alot of pain, but the prolonging of that pain is brought forth by the pessimistic nature of our societies academic study of these issues.
All those stupid beliefs about the effects of abuse that become our everyday common knowledge, causing everyone to believe there is no hope for these people overcoming the pain, thus making it impossible for them to do so. Whoops! Did I say impossible? Well I guess it would be impossible if people kept thinking the way they do.
A person can think anyway they want to, and there are an infinite amount of things that could be said to a person, that when enough things are combined can take away someone's pain.
People just want to be a part of society, but pessimisic schools of thought do not allow them to do this.
This is the biggest damage done by mental institutions. Being labeled with a mental disorder, removes a person from mainstream society, causing them far more suffering than is necessary.
If they were seen the same way as everyone else, who just happened by chance to fall under unfortunate circumstances, and someone who is optimistic about all facets of life was skilled at being understanding, and taking the pain away, the person could view their experiences from a happier frame of mind, and reimmerse themselves into mainstream society.
There are many circumstances where someone gets or perhaps has experienced alot of family abuse, and go through alot of pain, and when they go to get help dealing with it, they are told they have a mental disorder. (why is this hard to read? Could we think about things better?)
People in the institutions have normal conversations with each other about how fucked up the "therapy" (pills) is, but the doctors have all the power, and nothing that the patient says bears any weight. The doctors basically control their lives.
People are always driven to intense anger by doctor's inability or unwillingness to listen to reason, and the way they try to convince you that all your problems are the result of an illness, and force you to take medication. But when you express that anger, you are forcefully injected with medication and locked up alone in a little room, sometimes for days, denying you of human interaction or smoking. You can bang on the door for hours, and be completely ignored.
Whatever problems you are are having that lead you to go to the mental institution, be it a divorce, or seeing your friend die, or God knows what, mean nothing to them. They only do two things there. Categorize you into a disorder, and put you on medication indefinitely. When you get all messed up and have circumstances that are tragic and/or are too complicated to talk to everyday people about, all you wanna do is go somewhere and talk to someone who has the time to listen. You know know you'll feel better once you've talked it all out. When you start to try to explain everything to them, they always ask stupid questions like are you hearing voices, or thinking about hurting yourself.
The only thing they are thinking about when you go talk to them is, "What kind of disorder does this person have?"
Is that any way to help a person?
These are real people with real feelings who are having problems, and when they reach out to the doctors for help on sensitive issues such as bad relationships or abuse or war trauma, and the doctors put forth no effort toward understanding, anyone can become violently angry. Especially when they try to tell you that these painful feelings you are having is the result of a "disorder." ;Humans like you having problems that could happen to anyone. Not having a damn word listened to by doctors who act like they know more about you than you. Being told they have disorders, and that their only recourse is to be on medication for the rest of their life. If you tell them you don't wanna deal with your problems that way, they will say you have no choice. It only takes two psychiatrists to agree that you have a mental disorder, then you are a certified mental patient and have no say in the matters concerning your life. The decision is made far quicker, than it takes to hear the full scope of the problem. They will hand you pills and tell you to take them. You can be like, "No fuckin way, that's no solution." and feel really strongly and sure that you don't want to become a mental patient, and give a completely rational explanation why, and they will give you an ultimatum. "You either take the pills willingly, or we will forcefully inject them into you." You're sittin there as cool as a cucumber, and you are completely aware of what you're problems are, and you make perfect sense when you tell them what you need, but they will not listen to you. You can see that it bothers some of the nurses and police, that they have to do this to you, but they have no choice. It's doctor's orders. Others are colder about it. It happens AAALL the time. It's mindblowing what is done to people.
You feel a real weak feeling when you take the pills and it really fucks with your head. Popping them is like telling yourself that there is something wrong with your mind that you can't do anything about.
That's the way the medical schools view mental illness. They view it as something you can't do anything about. But that's only one line of thought. Unfortunately it is the line of thought that governs the practise of psychiatry and our general society today. It's really sad. Especially when people who check themselves in, who could be helped so easily, are convinced they have something wrong with their head, and begin to think that way.
Fortunately for me, I never bought it for a minute, but there were years and years of conflict before I was finally allowed to live my life free of medication. I was completely certain that I could eventually straighten out my head, but they wouldn't allow me to think that way. They told me I had manic depression, which is completely not the way I think about my head. My head is a tapestry of beliefs, personality traits and circumstances, not some generic medical term. I never had the chance to explain anything to them, I had to do it all alone.
I would have straightened my head out years sooner, had I have not gone to the mental institution, but at the time that I went, I really needed to talk to someone. There were deepfelt repressed family issues, and it would require more time and effort than any of my friends could give me. The girl who did give me the time wasn't around anymore, and I was going through a lot of deep pain.
Most people that age don't want to listen to a lot of painful issues. I figured I'd go see someone who was paid to listen to what I was going through.
I didn't realize at the time that that wasn't in their job description. I definitely didn't realize they were gonna put me through what they were gonna put me through.
It would take a post alot longer than this to explain everything, but hopefully I will make people understand just what is being done to people in our society, who are young and having problems, and seek help, unaware of what will be inflicted on them.
I know the story has to be told, and I know that anyone outside the system would agree that the current practises of psychiatry has to be stopped, if they could just see the full scope of what is happening to people.
It could be your kid whose life is destroyed.
Actually maybe that's not true. If you are there for your kids, they shouldn't need to seek help from the whacko system.
But what if you can't be there for them?
To who will they turn?
7/16/2006 3:16 am
Maybe you should make it your mission to speak out about what you've been thru at a higher level to make people aware of what's happening in those places.|
There's nothing like the voice of experience to make people sit up and listen
7/16/2006 4:08 am
That goes for anyone whose __iminated aginst. Thanks fur yur support!!|
I may have been a Rock Star by the time I was twenty, since that was all I ever thought about! However, now that I've steered so wide, it may take twice as long!!
I guess I'm just goona hafta...
ROCK TWICE AS HARD!!
If I can keep my dentures from fallin out!